The other day, I was walking Bo and I remembered I had this web page. I have allowed so many things in my life to take over and run it. I feel ashamed, but sometimes, we all end up down some rabbit hole or another.
Not really sure where I want to go with this web site. Just give me some time, I am sure I will think of something. I will say, life has been turned upside down and thrown about quite a bit since my last post.
I hate to say I changed jobs, but I did end up changing employers and not by my own choice. Seems like my former employer wanted to keep me, but wanted someone else to pay. Happened to about 3,000 of my co-workers at the end of 2019. I was angry, but now, I am just sad to know how little I was valued after so many years of service. I realize - I am not alone. There are many of us that feel the same way.
I had high hopes that my work life would improve and opportunities would be available for me to grow. It has been 6 months and it is nothing as I had hoped. In fact, it is worse. The disappointment consumed me. Everything came crashing down and I went into a downward spiral emotionally.
Next to hit was the COVID19 pandemic and self-quarantine. To be honest, the only thing that has really bothered me about that is my allergies. This year, allergies got the better of me.
Currently, the world is in a huge uproar and rightly so. Everyone should be treated equally and humanely, no matter what. I understand I have no idea how many people of color are treated and I am working on learning more. My worry is that there are those clouding up the protest points with looting and damaging property. At the same time, I want people to realize that we must address the issues and not let it all blow over. Otherwise, this situation will continue to in its vicious cycle. It was only 5 or 6 years ago when two men were killed and similar protests and such took place. Again, time after time before these incidents. Seems that we are all crazy for letting it happen over and over with no change.
It is time to make a change.
Wednesday, June 10, 2020
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
YLOD - Yellow Light of Death - My PS3...
Finally, I got off my backside and hooked up my Playstation 4 in my bedroom. I have had a few nights where I was trying to complete the set up while lying in bed, but I would drop off to sleep a lot. I suppose I was pretty tired. I made it a point to be awake and get everything set up. I even downloaded Fortnite, then purchased Duke Nukem 3D 20th Anniversary Edition (OMG - has it been 20 years?!)
I played part of the beginning of the game. I laughed at how awkward I was with using the controller. It is good that I am practicing using single player and not showing how bad I am at playing games with others right now. Even being a bad player, I realized how much fun I was having and felt less stressed.
Tonight, I went into the living room to update the older systems in preparation for Thanksgiving. That's right, folks, I plan on binge watching shows and playing video games while preparing my Thanksgiving dinner. Bo was not sure what to make of it all.
While I know dogs really do not understand what we are saying to them, I always have a conversation with Bo. He is my very best friend, if you think about it. He is here with me all of the time, so he knows the good, the bad, and the ugly. Still, he follows me around and gives off the happiest of smiles that brighten my day.
I had Bo on the sofa and I told him that we were going to binge watch movies and just relax this year. However, I also planned on playing video games, so I wanted to make sure the devices were updated ahead of time.
I went to turn on my PS3 with the remote and the system did nothing. I checked the batteries. Even though the batteries appeared to be recent, you never know, so I grabbed some fresh batteries and put them into the remote. When to start the PS3 - nothing.
I physically got up, went to the console, pressed the "On/Off" button. The light turned green, yellow, then blinked red while beeping 3 times at me. Huh? I stood there doing this over and over, in some hope that the console would boot. Never happened - panic.
I grab my iPhone and start searching for what was happening. Information I pulled back was not pleasant. Seems that this is an issue on the motherboard. Sure, you can fix it, but it is complicated. *Huge sigh*
I watched videos on how the devices get repaired for this issue. It is straight forward, but there are some pitfalls and I would rather not do it myself. I checked on getting a new console, then it hit me - check for a repair shop for gaming consoles.
There are a few in the area. I have decided to call one tomorrow and see what can be done at this point. I hope to hear some good news, but prepare for the worst.
While I could buy a refurbished or pre-owned (used!) console, I think it is probably better to just see what could be salvaged.
Will provide an update on this soon...
I played part of the beginning of the game. I laughed at how awkward I was with using the controller. It is good that I am practicing using single player and not showing how bad I am at playing games with others right now. Even being a bad player, I realized how much fun I was having and felt less stressed.
Tonight, I went into the living room to update the older systems in preparation for Thanksgiving. That's right, folks, I plan on binge watching shows and playing video games while preparing my Thanksgiving dinner. Bo was not sure what to make of it all.
While I know dogs really do not understand what we are saying to them, I always have a conversation with Bo. He is my very best friend, if you think about it. He is here with me all of the time, so he knows the good, the bad, and the ugly. Still, he follows me around and gives off the happiest of smiles that brighten my day.
I had Bo on the sofa and I told him that we were going to binge watch movies and just relax this year. However, I also planned on playing video games, so I wanted to make sure the devices were updated ahead of time.
I went to turn on my PS3 with the remote and the system did nothing. I checked the batteries. Even though the batteries appeared to be recent, you never know, so I grabbed some fresh batteries and put them into the remote. When to start the PS3 - nothing.
I physically got up, went to the console, pressed the "On/Off" button. The light turned green, yellow, then blinked red while beeping 3 times at me. Huh? I stood there doing this over and over, in some hope that the console would boot. Never happened - panic.
I grab my iPhone and start searching for what was happening. Information I pulled back was not pleasant. Seems that this is an issue on the motherboard. Sure, you can fix it, but it is complicated. *Huge sigh*
I watched videos on how the devices get repaired for this issue. It is straight forward, but there are some pitfalls and I would rather not do it myself. I checked on getting a new console, then it hit me - check for a repair shop for gaming consoles.
There are a few in the area. I have decided to call one tomorrow and see what can be done at this point. I hope to hear some good news, but prepare for the worst.
While I could buy a refurbished or pre-owned (used!) console, I think it is probably better to just see what could be salvaged.
Will provide an update on this soon...
Thursday, November 8, 2018
November Health Update...
I apologize for not having updated my blog in a month. I sat here and went down the video game/Twitch rabbit hole. I have some ideas in mind for some projects I would like to do for fun on both YouTube and Twitch. I am finding a welcoming group of people in the gaming community, even at my age. In fact, just this past week, I have had a few people from that area tell me what a "bad ass" I was. Apparently, I am cool because I am over the age of 50, know what "Twitch"is, I engage in a friendly way - not like a parent, and I still play video games.
It made me feel less of a "mean, old lady".
I am working on creating a post on how life has been the past month using the Freestyle Libre Glucose Monitor. I would like to provide my experience for others who may be considering using it or those who are using it, can provide me some advice. I hope to put that out this weekend.
Overall, I did lose about 2 lbs, but my body is being stubborn. Not sure why, but that is why I am using my health log and started adding trackers to really investigate areas where I am lacking.
Upon seeing my nephrologist last Thursday, my lab work showed that my creatinine level went from 1.5 to 2.0. My doctor is concerned about the large increase. Earlier, I had dropped from 1.8 to 1.3. My last visit, I had gone up to 1.5. He is not sure if the diabetes, blood pressure, or both. So, I have to visit him again in 2 months to see where I am.
For my part, I am going to work harder on monitoring my blood pressure, taking medications, and logging how much water I am drinking. I hate to say it, but if he is concerned, it is pretty scary for me. I voiced how scared I was to a good friend of mine and she offered me one of her kidneys. The thing is, I just want to make sure that I am not at that point. I love her to death for that, but I want to prevent that from happening.
Tomorrow, I see my dietician and go over what has happened in the past 3 weeks. I do not see where I have lost anything - in fact, I have gained a pound or two. I try hard not to dwell on that and get depressed over it. Our bodies are constantly changing and I just have to remember that. I can only control the things I can, such as what I eat/drink and exercise. Internally, I cannot control what is happening in there. I just need to be more careful and make better choices.
Mentally, I realized I was really exhausted. I have had no down time from work since June. I had planned on down time in September/October, but it just did not happen. So, I sat down and planned out the rest of my vacation for the year. Having been with the company for 20+ years, I have 33 days to take for vacation. I had already taken some time earlier this year, so I was left with 17 days.
Ten of those days, I decided for all of November and December, I would take every Friday off from work. It was amazing how excited I was to have an extra day for the weekend. I always feel that the weekend goes by too fast for me to get anything done. Now, I have an extra week.
To finish off the remaining days, I am taking off the day before Thanksgiving, then returning that following Thursday. For Christmas, I am taking the Friday before the week of Christmas, then the rest of the time off until January 2nd. I spread it out and hope I won't get any of this: Well, if you are gone, who is going to handle this?
I am so tired of people not sorting out how to handle things without me. I have to handle situations without them when they take off and there is no one who backs them. I think they can handle things without me - I worked hard for that vacation time.
Overall, that is my update in a nutshell. I hope to do my posts regarding the Freestyle Libra Continual Glucose Monitor, my thoughts on physicians neglecting to read what patients have in their medical records, and various funny tales in the upcoming days/weeks. Hope you will hang with me on that.
It made me feel less of a "mean, old lady".
I am working on creating a post on how life has been the past month using the Freestyle Libre Glucose Monitor. I would like to provide my experience for others who may be considering using it or those who are using it, can provide me some advice. I hope to put that out this weekend.
Overall, I did lose about 2 lbs, but my body is being stubborn. Not sure why, but that is why I am using my health log and started adding trackers to really investigate areas where I am lacking.
Upon seeing my nephrologist last Thursday, my lab work showed that my creatinine level went from 1.5 to 2.0. My doctor is concerned about the large increase. Earlier, I had dropped from 1.8 to 1.3. My last visit, I had gone up to 1.5. He is not sure if the diabetes, blood pressure, or both. So, I have to visit him again in 2 months to see where I am.
For my part, I am going to work harder on monitoring my blood pressure, taking medications, and logging how much water I am drinking. I hate to say it, but if he is concerned, it is pretty scary for me. I voiced how scared I was to a good friend of mine and she offered me one of her kidneys. The thing is, I just want to make sure that I am not at that point. I love her to death for that, but I want to prevent that from happening.
Tomorrow, I see my dietician and go over what has happened in the past 3 weeks. I do not see where I have lost anything - in fact, I have gained a pound or two. I try hard not to dwell on that and get depressed over it. Our bodies are constantly changing and I just have to remember that. I can only control the things I can, such as what I eat/drink and exercise. Internally, I cannot control what is happening in there. I just need to be more careful and make better choices.
Mentally, I realized I was really exhausted. I have had no down time from work since June. I had planned on down time in September/October, but it just did not happen. So, I sat down and planned out the rest of my vacation for the year. Having been with the company for 20+ years, I have 33 days to take for vacation. I had already taken some time earlier this year, so I was left with 17 days.
Ten of those days, I decided for all of November and December, I would take every Friday off from work. It was amazing how excited I was to have an extra day for the weekend. I always feel that the weekend goes by too fast for me to get anything done. Now, I have an extra week.
To finish off the remaining days, I am taking off the day before Thanksgiving, then returning that following Thursday. For Christmas, I am taking the Friday before the week of Christmas, then the rest of the time off until January 2nd. I spread it out and hope I won't get any of this: Well, if you are gone, who is going to handle this?
I am so tired of people not sorting out how to handle things without me. I have to handle situations without them when they take off and there is no one who backs them. I think they can handle things without me - I worked hard for that vacation time.
Overall, that is my update in a nutshell. I hope to do my posts regarding the Freestyle Libra Continual Glucose Monitor, my thoughts on physicians neglecting to read what patients have in their medical records, and various funny tales in the upcoming days/weeks. Hope you will hang with me on that.
Monday, October 1, 2018
New Month - New Device...
Earlier this year, I got a new endocrinologist. While she wanted me to use the constantly supplied insulin box, I decided I would continue with the current injections. However, I would try the Freestyle Libre sensor.
The first time I tried it, it was a mess, so say the least. A little background on the blood glucose sensor. You have to put the sensor onto the back of your arm. The sensor has a small needle that is placed just inside the skin. It takes about 12 hours for the sensor to gather the information on your blood sugar in your system.
The sensor is worn for 10 days, then you have to remove it and apply another sensor. It also takes another 12 hours for that sensor to gather information before it actual starts working.
The cool thing about using the sensor is no longer having to poke your finger all the time to get your blood sugar readings. You do have to prick your finger for readings during that 12 hour period, but once that is done, you just have to wave the device over the sensor. By doing that, the device picks up the information and shows you what your current blood sugar is.
So, that is a nice feature.
My initial experience was not so great and left me with questions. The first sensor would act like it was activating. I went back to check how many hours left and the device would say that it needed to reactivate and it would be another 12 hours. After awhile, I got concerned, so I removed the sensor.
The needle underneath had bent. Fabulous. Would have been nice for the device to tell me that the sensor needle had been bent or was not working.
So, I got my second sensor. Just a small piece of information - my prescription only allows me 3 sensors at one time and it costs $75 via insurance. Therefore, I am really not liking how this going. I have messed up my first sensor, on my second sensor, and I only have 1 unused sensor.
The second sensor finally activated, stayed activated, and started returning results within 12 hours. Fabulous. The data is really great to have - showing me my lows and spikes. Unfortunately for me, the second sensor detached from my skin because I had sweated so much. Argh!
At that point, it has only been 2 days and 2 sensors sacrificed. Not a great start, so I went back to previous method of measuring my blood sugar.
Next visit with the endocrinologist, she is insistent that I use the sensor. She claims that she cannot pull the data off of my OneTouch device. For me, that is crap. I have the cable and such to pull the data off of my OneTouch device, so that excuse just does not float with me. I believe that is just her way to insisting on using one device with all of her patients.
I did explain my experience and she stated that I could send back any sensor that does not work properly to the company to get another sent to me overnight. This part I was not aware.
Since is it October 1st, I will try the sensor again. Hope that this time, the sensor will stay on my arm and work properly for the next 10 days. Otherwise, I am going to really be dissatisfied with this product. It is supposed to stay on while showering, so we shall see.
The first time I tried it, it was a mess, so say the least. A little background on the blood glucose sensor. You have to put the sensor onto the back of your arm. The sensor has a small needle that is placed just inside the skin. It takes about 12 hours for the sensor to gather the information on your blood sugar in your system.
The sensor is worn for 10 days, then you have to remove it and apply another sensor. It also takes another 12 hours for that sensor to gather information before it actual starts working.
The cool thing about using the sensor is no longer having to poke your finger all the time to get your blood sugar readings. You do have to prick your finger for readings during that 12 hour period, but once that is done, you just have to wave the device over the sensor. By doing that, the device picks up the information and shows you what your current blood sugar is.
So, that is a nice feature.
My initial experience was not so great and left me with questions. The first sensor would act like it was activating. I went back to check how many hours left and the device would say that it needed to reactivate and it would be another 12 hours. After awhile, I got concerned, so I removed the sensor.
The needle underneath had bent. Fabulous. Would have been nice for the device to tell me that the sensor needle had been bent or was not working.
So, I got my second sensor. Just a small piece of information - my prescription only allows me 3 sensors at one time and it costs $75 via insurance. Therefore, I am really not liking how this going. I have messed up my first sensor, on my second sensor, and I only have 1 unused sensor.
The second sensor finally activated, stayed activated, and started returning results within 12 hours. Fabulous. The data is really great to have - showing me my lows and spikes. Unfortunately for me, the second sensor detached from my skin because I had sweated so much. Argh!
At that point, it has only been 2 days and 2 sensors sacrificed. Not a great start, so I went back to previous method of measuring my blood sugar.
Next visit with the endocrinologist, she is insistent that I use the sensor. She claims that she cannot pull the data off of my OneTouch device. For me, that is crap. I have the cable and such to pull the data off of my OneTouch device, so that excuse just does not float with me. I believe that is just her way to insisting on using one device with all of her patients.
I did explain my experience and she stated that I could send back any sensor that does not work properly to the company to get another sent to me overnight. This part I was not aware.
Since is it October 1st, I will try the sensor again. Hope that this time, the sensor will stay on my arm and work properly for the next 10 days. Otherwise, I am going to really be dissatisfied with this product. It is supposed to stay on while showering, so we shall see.
Hello, October! I Have Been Waiting for You...
This past summer has been a beast. Between dealing with the heat outside, I also had to deal with poor a/c unit not working. I complained that the unit was having issues in early June, but no one seemed to care about looking at the issue. By July, the apartment temperature started reaching 85 to 90 degrees. I was pretty angry about that because nothing was getting done.
In July, I purchased a portable a/c unit from Home Depot. It was not a window unit, as I was used to having. However, the little unit did a good job under the circumstances. I still use it to keep my bedroom cool. Bo loves it because he will lay right in the line of where the cool air is blowing.
The past week, even though it has rained quite a bit, the weather outside has been a bit cooler. The only part I do not like is the high humidity. I need to work on determining a good makeup regime where I can wear some sort of foundation without it melting off my face. Nothing worse than putting on makeup and watching it just melt before your eyes.
However, today is the first day of October. I know that the weather may not be fitting for "fall" today or part of this week. I do hope that as the days go by, the weather will cool off more and be more pleasant. At least, be cool enough for me not to break into a sweat all of the time.
With that being said, everyone have a beautiful October 1st. Go and enjoy whatever Pumpkin Spice items you love!
In July, I purchased a portable a/c unit from Home Depot. It was not a window unit, as I was used to having. However, the little unit did a good job under the circumstances. I still use it to keep my bedroom cool. Bo loves it because he will lay right in the line of where the cool air is blowing.
The past week, even though it has rained quite a bit, the weather outside has been a bit cooler. The only part I do not like is the high humidity. I need to work on determining a good makeup regime where I can wear some sort of foundation without it melting off my face. Nothing worse than putting on makeup and watching it just melt before your eyes.
However, today is the first day of October. I know that the weather may not be fitting for "fall" today or part of this week. I do hope that as the days go by, the weather will cool off more and be more pleasant. At least, be cool enough for me not to break into a sweat all of the time.
With that being said, everyone have a beautiful October 1st. Go and enjoy whatever Pumpkin Spice items you love!
Saturday, September 29, 2018
Arrgh - Got Killed Again...
A LONG time ago, I purchased a game called "Half Life." Sci-Fi game based upon an accidental experiment gone wrong. The lead character has to fight against mutants in order to get help for the scientists and security guards left in the Black Mesa site.
I never got all the way through the game. I was trying to play when I first got the game, but when you share the main computer system in the living room, you did not get a lot of time on the computer. When I moved out of my parents' home and into my own apartment, I would spend time playing the game while listening to audio books. Unfortunately, the laptop I was playing on would lock up a lot.
When I purchased my current Dell laptop, I found I was not able to play the game no more. It would hang up when I attempted to put on my suit at the very beginning of the game. I was really upset over that because I had wanted this to be my new gaming system. However, I was unable to play the game that I wanted to finish.
A few years ago, I found that I could play the same on the Steam servers. Graphics were just fabulous and there was good speed in playing the game. Problem was that I never seemed to have time to just play video games.
Recently, I have reclaimed my home office again. I have the systems set up to work to my advantage. I have looked at playing Fortnite, but seems that my system is not up to handling that game just yet. The poor system got so hot that it shut itself down when I was trying to understand how to play. I was really worried that I had screwed up the system so badly that I could not recover. Luckily, I turned on my small desk fan and I keep it blowing on the system to keep it cool. I will have to purchase an air board to keep the laptop cool.
So, this past week, I started playing around with Half-Life again. I went through the "Training" program, first. I remembered a lot of my trouble areas, but I did manage to get better and remember how to pass the various tests.
I started playing the real game. I remind myself that when I get to certain parts of the game, I need to save that moment, so that when my character dies, I can come back to that spot to continue.
I find myself getting excited when the mutants sneak up on my character. I feel proud of myself to getting my character to obliterate the various nasty mutants. It has been fun. However, I know that I am not playing the game quite right. I need to read through the walk-thru to make sure I am picking up what I need.
I will say, it has been really nice to start playing a game just to get away from the daily stress. I will play SimCity BuildIt on my iPhone, but what is involved in that game is trying to keep your Sims happy while you build your city and do the trade to help get more revenue for your city. A lot of the time, it is planning on what materials I need to have in order to complete the requests. So, I will set certain pieces to build and come back in about an hour to see how much has been completed.
The frustrating part of SimCity BuildIt has been trying to build the requests within the alloted time. For example, I have a cargo plane that will take off in 8 hours - it is impossible to grow 10 ears of corn in that time frame because it takes 54 minutes to complete growing the corn. The game does provide a hint of the three items each cargo plane and ship will require, but at this point, I have to fulfill requests for 3 cargo plans (UK, Japan, and France) as well as requests for the cargo ship. It can be quite a problem if one needs 5 ears of corn and another needs 12.
Still, I am glad to have this stress relief. I just finished playing another section of Half-Life. When I got killed for the last time, I just laughed. My character fell to his death because I was trying to jump on to an elevator platform before the head crabs got me. I missed the platform. I am still laughing - sad, but oh, well, I will come back to it and do better next time.
I watched someone playing "Super Seducer" on Twitch the other day. That is an interesting game because it shows live actors in certain situations where the guy is trying to seduce the girl. At certain points, the game stops and asks you to choose what would be the next move.
There are some obvious good choices, but there are always the really bad choices. It is funny, yet, cringy to watch the bad choices. The fun part is when you make the selection and after that section completes, the actors explain why that was a good or bad choice. I was impressed with that game.
Got to have fun - the video games help!
I never got all the way through the game. I was trying to play when I first got the game, but when you share the main computer system in the living room, you did not get a lot of time on the computer. When I moved out of my parents' home and into my own apartment, I would spend time playing the game while listening to audio books. Unfortunately, the laptop I was playing on would lock up a lot.
When I purchased my current Dell laptop, I found I was not able to play the game no more. It would hang up when I attempted to put on my suit at the very beginning of the game. I was really upset over that because I had wanted this to be my new gaming system. However, I was unable to play the game that I wanted to finish.
A few years ago, I found that I could play the same on the Steam servers. Graphics were just fabulous and there was good speed in playing the game. Problem was that I never seemed to have time to just play video games.
Recently, I have reclaimed my home office again. I have the systems set up to work to my advantage. I have looked at playing Fortnite, but seems that my system is not up to handling that game just yet. The poor system got so hot that it shut itself down when I was trying to understand how to play. I was really worried that I had screwed up the system so badly that I could not recover. Luckily, I turned on my small desk fan and I keep it blowing on the system to keep it cool. I will have to purchase an air board to keep the laptop cool.
So, this past week, I started playing around with Half-Life again. I went through the "Training" program, first. I remembered a lot of my trouble areas, but I did manage to get better and remember how to pass the various tests.
I started playing the real game. I remind myself that when I get to certain parts of the game, I need to save that moment, so that when my character dies, I can come back to that spot to continue.
I find myself getting excited when the mutants sneak up on my character. I feel proud of myself to getting my character to obliterate the various nasty mutants. It has been fun. However, I know that I am not playing the game quite right. I need to read through the walk-thru to make sure I am picking up what I need.
I will say, it has been really nice to start playing a game just to get away from the daily stress. I will play SimCity BuildIt on my iPhone, but what is involved in that game is trying to keep your Sims happy while you build your city and do the trade to help get more revenue for your city. A lot of the time, it is planning on what materials I need to have in order to complete the requests. So, I will set certain pieces to build and come back in about an hour to see how much has been completed.
The frustrating part of SimCity BuildIt has been trying to build the requests within the alloted time. For example, I have a cargo plane that will take off in 8 hours - it is impossible to grow 10 ears of corn in that time frame because it takes 54 minutes to complete growing the corn. The game does provide a hint of the three items each cargo plane and ship will require, but at this point, I have to fulfill requests for 3 cargo plans (UK, Japan, and France) as well as requests for the cargo ship. It can be quite a problem if one needs 5 ears of corn and another needs 12.
Still, I am glad to have this stress relief. I just finished playing another section of Half-Life. When I got killed for the last time, I just laughed. My character fell to his death because I was trying to jump on to an elevator platform before the head crabs got me. I missed the platform. I am still laughing - sad, but oh, well, I will come back to it and do better next time.
I watched someone playing "Super Seducer" on Twitch the other day. That is an interesting game because it shows live actors in certain situations where the guy is trying to seduce the girl. At certain points, the game stops and asks you to choose what would be the next move.
There are some obvious good choices, but there are always the really bad choices. It is funny, yet, cringy to watch the bad choices. The fun part is when you make the selection and after that section completes, the actors explain why that was a good or bad choice. I was impressed with that game.
Got to have fun - the video games help!
Let's Try This Again - Health Update...
This week, I saw my counselor, dietician, and orthopedic. My counselor gave me the hard news - she has to leave the practice as her husband has as new job out of state. That makes me sad. I feel I have a lot of trust built up with her and now, I have to start all over with someone new.
As for my dietician, I gained about 2.2 lbs. Last month, I gained 4 lbs., so total of 6.2 lbs. Not happy with that, but stuff going on in my life has not been the best. I was not journaling myself to keep myself accountable for what I was eating/drinking. I have a new journal that I have started. The previous one was completed, so I did achieve that goal - completing one journal. Now, I need to work on completing this journal with the information regarding my lifestyle change.
My current goal is to get under 300 lbs by end of the year. This is an feasible goal and I know I can accomplish it. After that, the next goal is to get to under 250 by mid-year next year. I still feel that is feasible. At that point, I will report back on how I am feeling, especially in regards to my back, knee, and leg pain. The pain really detracts me from doing any sort of low-impact exercise. However, I am going to try to do "something" that gets my heart rate up and burns fat. I am doing this for me - no one else. That is the most important part.
Now, as for my orthopedic, he renewed my prescriptions, but he still seems to regard me in some disgust. I am offended that he still keeps harping on my weight and that I should lose weight. The reason for my offense is that I have already lost 28 lbs since December 2017 and this guy's practice does not even weigh me. So, to act like I am doing nothing is really offensive to me. Furthermore, he just won't do much to help with the pain. That is all I am asking for him to do is find something that will reduce the pain, so I can just walk without the pain.
You know, I still have a herniated disc and that is not going to heal itself overnight. When I walk or stand for awhile, the pinching pain in my back is tremendous. It is not fun. When I sit or lie down, the pain goes away. Oddly enough, when it is really nasty, the movement of sitting down can be so excruciating, then once seated, the pain slowly goes away. So, I know many doctors will be judgemental regarding overweight patients. However, that attitude does not help the patient. In some cases, shaming them makes the problem worse and that is a real problem.
I am planning on looking into what orthopedics my insurance company will cover and look for someone else. I will even discuss it with my PCP, who has been very supportive of me. Even my OB-GYN is very supportive of me with this journey. She will tell you - weight loss is not going to make your problems go away. In fact, it may cause other issues. That is a hard truth that no one discusses. It may help some of your health issues go away, but the rest of it, if you have self-conscious or anxiety issues, losing the weight may not help that. That is why I have also engaged a counselor. Help me through the changes and get me through those areas that trigger bad habits.
I did order my Pandora bracelet last week. While I know I have gained weight, that is fine. I still need to reward myself for having lost the 6 lbs I did in July. So, for October, I can wear the bracelet to remind myself - "You lost 6 lbs - you got this and can do it again!" That will help me mentally to stay on track along with journaling to keep me accountable.
Lesson - you can follow all sorts of diets, but bottom line, you have to make a "lifestyle" change if you want to keep things permanent.
Next update in October!
As for my dietician, I gained about 2.2 lbs. Last month, I gained 4 lbs., so total of 6.2 lbs. Not happy with that, but stuff going on in my life has not been the best. I was not journaling myself to keep myself accountable for what I was eating/drinking. I have a new journal that I have started. The previous one was completed, so I did achieve that goal - completing one journal. Now, I need to work on completing this journal with the information regarding my lifestyle change.
My current goal is to get under 300 lbs by end of the year. This is an feasible goal and I know I can accomplish it. After that, the next goal is to get to under 250 by mid-year next year. I still feel that is feasible. At that point, I will report back on how I am feeling, especially in regards to my back, knee, and leg pain. The pain really detracts me from doing any sort of low-impact exercise. However, I am going to try to do "something" that gets my heart rate up and burns fat. I am doing this for me - no one else. That is the most important part.
Now, as for my orthopedic, he renewed my prescriptions, but he still seems to regard me in some disgust. I am offended that he still keeps harping on my weight and that I should lose weight. The reason for my offense is that I have already lost 28 lbs since December 2017 and this guy's practice does not even weigh me. So, to act like I am doing nothing is really offensive to me. Furthermore, he just won't do much to help with the pain. That is all I am asking for him to do is find something that will reduce the pain, so I can just walk without the pain.
You know, I still have a herniated disc and that is not going to heal itself overnight. When I walk or stand for awhile, the pinching pain in my back is tremendous. It is not fun. When I sit or lie down, the pain goes away. Oddly enough, when it is really nasty, the movement of sitting down can be so excruciating, then once seated, the pain slowly goes away. So, I know many doctors will be judgemental regarding overweight patients. However, that attitude does not help the patient. In some cases, shaming them makes the problem worse and that is a real problem.
I am planning on looking into what orthopedics my insurance company will cover and look for someone else. I will even discuss it with my PCP, who has been very supportive of me. Even my OB-GYN is very supportive of me with this journey. She will tell you - weight loss is not going to make your problems go away. In fact, it may cause other issues. That is a hard truth that no one discusses. It may help some of your health issues go away, but the rest of it, if you have self-conscious or anxiety issues, losing the weight may not help that. That is why I have also engaged a counselor. Help me through the changes and get me through those areas that trigger bad habits.
I did order my Pandora bracelet last week. While I know I have gained weight, that is fine. I still need to reward myself for having lost the 6 lbs I did in July. So, for October, I can wear the bracelet to remind myself - "You lost 6 lbs - you got this and can do it again!" That will help me mentally to stay on track along with journaling to keep me accountable.
Lesson - you can follow all sorts of diets, but bottom line, you have to make a "lifestyle" change if you want to keep things permanent.
Next update in October!
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