Today, I finally wrapped up paying off my high interest credit cards. The feeling was amazing. For so long, I felt like I was in this huge vicious circle due to unexpected events. Now, I can start concentrating on saving for a house.
I won't lie - I was still very nervous about going through this plan. The positives outweighed the negatives, so I had to take the jump. I still have a daily choice to make as to what is important and not. That will continue always, but I feel that I have finally gotten my head above the water. That is important.
Now, I need to do some research on where I can start putting money in order for it to grow as I save. Savings accounts these days simply do not do enough for earning money. I may finally call Fidelity regarding that in the next couple of weeks.
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Wanted: A New Primary Care Physician...
Today, I had my first visit with whom I hope will be my new primary care physician. I got a physical today when I just wanted to discuss my back problems. I figure, the insurance pays 100% for that visit, so okay. I ended up getting two shots, tetnus and pnemonia, then blood drawn for a full lab, and urine check.
Good thing I fasted for that - I sort of felt that in my bones for the visit. At some point, it is inevitable that you will have blood drawn. Better to go ahead and fast, than have to go back at a later time.
I described my back problems to the new doctor. She wants to get a X-Ray on my back to make sure there are no issues. I got a list of exercises to do in hopes of clearing up the issue. There was the discussion regarding my weight. I gained a pound since I saw the endo. I just was not going to sweat it. I am between a rock and hard place. I am there to get help, so that I can exercise more. Otherwise, I am caught in a vicious circle - exercise and start having back problems, then back off. Get to feeling better, then start exercising again.
Overall, she was very attentive. The office itself has a portal, so that I can get hold of lab results in a timely manner. Also, I can contact the doctor over the portal with questions and such.
I was a bit overwhelmed at how large the facility was, but it was very nice. I filled out the forms for my medical information from my previous PCP and my endocrinologist. This way, I have the new doctor as my PCP as well as opening that line of communication between the endocrinologist and the PCP. It bothered me that my previous PCP was so adverse to refilling my medications. She wanted them all transferred over to the endocrinologist. I was able to move all but the doxycycline, which I take for Rosacea and acne break outs. (For those of you telling me how clear my skin is - that is why.) I had a difficult time getting that medication refilled because the previous PCP would only fill for every 30 days. We were having issues regarding obtaining blood lab results and her inability to properly discuss the results in a timely manner. Here, I will be where I was before my first PCP left - getting my lab results via a portal and the doctor sending me a note with information of her concerns and asking for scheduling a visit in a timely manner.
Right now, my main concern is with my back. Once I get that under control, I hope that I will be able to get back to exercising and getting weight off of this frame. I have no high hopes of being a size 0, but I do have hopes of having a lower A1C as well as feeling much better.
Good thing I fasted for that - I sort of felt that in my bones for the visit. At some point, it is inevitable that you will have blood drawn. Better to go ahead and fast, than have to go back at a later time.
I described my back problems to the new doctor. She wants to get a X-Ray on my back to make sure there are no issues. I got a list of exercises to do in hopes of clearing up the issue. There was the discussion regarding my weight. I gained a pound since I saw the endo. I just was not going to sweat it. I am between a rock and hard place. I am there to get help, so that I can exercise more. Otherwise, I am caught in a vicious circle - exercise and start having back problems, then back off. Get to feeling better, then start exercising again.
Overall, she was very attentive. The office itself has a portal, so that I can get hold of lab results in a timely manner. Also, I can contact the doctor over the portal with questions and such.
I was a bit overwhelmed at how large the facility was, but it was very nice. I filled out the forms for my medical information from my previous PCP and my endocrinologist. This way, I have the new doctor as my PCP as well as opening that line of communication between the endocrinologist and the PCP. It bothered me that my previous PCP was so adverse to refilling my medications. She wanted them all transferred over to the endocrinologist. I was able to move all but the doxycycline, which I take for Rosacea and acne break outs. (For those of you telling me how clear my skin is - that is why.) I had a difficult time getting that medication refilled because the previous PCP would only fill for every 30 days. We were having issues regarding obtaining blood lab results and her inability to properly discuss the results in a timely manner. Here, I will be where I was before my first PCP left - getting my lab results via a portal and the doctor sending me a note with information of her concerns and asking for scheduling a visit in a timely manner.
Right now, my main concern is with my back. Once I get that under control, I hope that I will be able to get back to exercising and getting weight off of this frame. I have no high hopes of being a size 0, but I do have hopes of having a lower A1C as well as feeling much better.
Indescribable - the Rage and Anger...
One of the reasons I need to get off of Facebook is the animal postings. My heart breaks when a dog or cat posting from some shelter is posted and I am told that the animal has limited time before being euthanized. I realize that I cannot save every animal, but there has to be another answer. It is more than upsetting - it breaks my heart.
The other day, someone posted a news report regarding a 10 year old boy who beat a small dog to death. The photo posted shows the poor baby in the corner of a door way. According to the various news sites in the area, the boy unlocked the fence, lured the dogs out (there was a German Shepard as well), chased the smaller dog, cornered the dog, then beat it mercilessly with a stick. The poor baby died from a fractured skull and severed spine.
I cried. Then, came such a very ugly rage and anger. I was angry and full of rage because this child has no concept of the fear and pain that was put upon the animal by him. What gets me, the kid claims that the dog attacked him. However, there is no signs of an attack on the child at all. That really angered me to no end. There was no sense for that sort of abuse, whether or not the animal attacked the child.
The child perpetuated this murder of a dog. He lured the animals out of their yard, then attacked the weakest one.
I know what bothers me the most - I think of my own dogs. How I would feel if some child killed one of my dogs in that manner? I know I would probably unleash a type of hell that would make some people's nightmares a happy place, but I am completely serious. I am as passionate about my dogs' well being as parents are for their children. My dogs are my children.
I realize that this child has some pretty serious mental issues. That cannot be denied. Whatever the name of the disease, it starts with a child killing small animals, then moving up from that. Is it that they cannot feel pain or fear for others? More than likely. Would the child care if he were beaten to the very point as he did the dog? No. Does it bring the dog back? Definitely not. However, what do we do about this?
Every time I think back to this story, I get so angry and full of rage. It is a type of ugly that one cannot explain, but I try to hug my own dogs and reassure myself, I will protect them with my own life.
I have my own worries regarding my dogs and the neighborhood kids in my own area. Consistently, the kids run up to the dogs, yelling and screaming "Dogs!!!! Can we pet your dogs????!!!!" It is like I am the ice cream truck with the ice cream in the back - only I do not have the children's songs playing when I walk the dogs for their business.
Too often than not, some of the kids are scared of the dogs and I try to hold them back, but the scared kids try to hit the dogs. I tell them to go away and they won't leave. Of course, the parent supervision lacks with these kids. There are some mothers that stand outside, but they are gossiping and not really watching. So, if I were to yank the kid away, I would be the one in trouble. I am only protected my dogs.
As I have said in another post, I am not the freaking mobile petting zoo. Sure, some people will stop and allow the kids to pet their dogs. I am not opposed to doing it, but only if the kids are calm about it. I think I am being reasonable. The kids do not see it like that. They are more worried about the dogs biting them. If you have that worry, stay away and admire them from afar. Again - this is not a mobile petting zoo.
After seeing this incident, I am on high alert with the kids. I feel I have no recourse with kids. I am not their parents and I certainly cannot punish them when they do wrong. Maybe that is wrong with the world. If my mom was not around and another parent was and I did something wrong, I got it from the parent, then the parent told my mom. I would get into trouble again with my own mother. That sort of thing sticks in your noggin.
I am trying to find a way to resolve my anger and rage regarding this issue. I try to ignore updates on the issue because it only brings up the ugly feelings. I thought it best to get it out in the open here. Maybe others would feel the same and understand. I am not a violent person, but these days, it does not take much to get angry with how things are going in society.
The other day, someone posted a news report regarding a 10 year old boy who beat a small dog to death. The photo posted shows the poor baby in the corner of a door way. According to the various news sites in the area, the boy unlocked the fence, lured the dogs out (there was a German Shepard as well), chased the smaller dog, cornered the dog, then beat it mercilessly with a stick. The poor baby died from a fractured skull and severed spine.
I cried. Then, came such a very ugly rage and anger. I was angry and full of rage because this child has no concept of the fear and pain that was put upon the animal by him. What gets me, the kid claims that the dog attacked him. However, there is no signs of an attack on the child at all. That really angered me to no end. There was no sense for that sort of abuse, whether or not the animal attacked the child.
The child perpetuated this murder of a dog. He lured the animals out of their yard, then attacked the weakest one.
I know what bothers me the most - I think of my own dogs. How I would feel if some child killed one of my dogs in that manner? I know I would probably unleash a type of hell that would make some people's nightmares a happy place, but I am completely serious. I am as passionate about my dogs' well being as parents are for their children. My dogs are my children.
I realize that this child has some pretty serious mental issues. That cannot be denied. Whatever the name of the disease, it starts with a child killing small animals, then moving up from that. Is it that they cannot feel pain or fear for others? More than likely. Would the child care if he were beaten to the very point as he did the dog? No. Does it bring the dog back? Definitely not. However, what do we do about this?
Every time I think back to this story, I get so angry and full of rage. It is a type of ugly that one cannot explain, but I try to hug my own dogs and reassure myself, I will protect them with my own life.
I have my own worries regarding my dogs and the neighborhood kids in my own area. Consistently, the kids run up to the dogs, yelling and screaming "Dogs!!!! Can we pet your dogs????!!!!" It is like I am the ice cream truck with the ice cream in the back - only I do not have the children's songs playing when I walk the dogs for their business.
Too often than not, some of the kids are scared of the dogs and I try to hold them back, but the scared kids try to hit the dogs. I tell them to go away and they won't leave. Of course, the parent supervision lacks with these kids. There are some mothers that stand outside, but they are gossiping and not really watching. So, if I were to yank the kid away, I would be the one in trouble. I am only protected my dogs.
As I have said in another post, I am not the freaking mobile petting zoo. Sure, some people will stop and allow the kids to pet their dogs. I am not opposed to doing it, but only if the kids are calm about it. I think I am being reasonable. The kids do not see it like that. They are more worried about the dogs biting them. If you have that worry, stay away and admire them from afar. Again - this is not a mobile petting zoo.
After seeing this incident, I am on high alert with the kids. I feel I have no recourse with kids. I am not their parents and I certainly cannot punish them when they do wrong. Maybe that is wrong with the world. If my mom was not around and another parent was and I did something wrong, I got it from the parent, then the parent told my mom. I would get into trouble again with my own mother. That sort of thing sticks in your noggin.
I am trying to find a way to resolve my anger and rage regarding this issue. I try to ignore updates on the issue because it only brings up the ugly feelings. I thought it best to get it out in the open here. Maybe others would feel the same and understand. I am not a violent person, but these days, it does not take much to get angry with how things are going in society.
Friday, May 8, 2015
That Mid-Life Garbage Women Endure...
Sometimes, I have to face the fact I am no longer a 25 year old. I am middle-aged and my body is starting to go through some interesting, yet frustrating changes. One of which is the peri menopausal phase. I happened onto an article regarding that and found I was experiencing the same issues.
Granted, with all of the constant rain out there the past several days, the humidity is nasty. So, when walking the dogs, it is not really much of a strain (other than the constant back pain as of late) to cause sweating. Mix in the humidity with the simple walk and you would have thought I ran a marathon.
I noticed that it takes forever for me to cool down. Now, if I take a cool shower, that cools down my body. Still, it is insane to be still sweating when your home is sitting at 68 degrees. It makes no sense.
The article talked about waking up in the middle of the night with sweat and know you were not sick. I have gone to bed and my teeth were chattering that my body was cold. I waking up in a hot sweat soon after that. Totally mind blowing.
I still have the monthly visit that is part of a woman's life. It is shorter, but the cramps are a pain. I would say a little worse than normal. I handle it fine, but it was something I noticed.
Let's not forget the PMS stage. For me, PMS was always a time where I was not pleasant to be around. Now, it is amplified. Unfortunately, chocolate does not solve that problem. Still, I can snap, then realize - WTH was that about?
Definitely some things to mention to my gynocologist. I also have to remember that with type 2 diabetes, the same issues can happen, so I have to be careful how my blood sugar is ranging during these times. Of course, when it is that time of the month, my blood sugar is high and I have never been able to get it to lower until it is almost done. That is frustrating.
So, at this time, I am dreading taking the dogs out for that last walk. I know with the storms all around, it will be humid out there. I hope it has cooled off for a bit. That would be nice.
Granted, with all of the constant rain out there the past several days, the humidity is nasty. So, when walking the dogs, it is not really much of a strain (other than the constant back pain as of late) to cause sweating. Mix in the humidity with the simple walk and you would have thought I ran a marathon.
I noticed that it takes forever for me to cool down. Now, if I take a cool shower, that cools down my body. Still, it is insane to be still sweating when your home is sitting at 68 degrees. It makes no sense.
The article talked about waking up in the middle of the night with sweat and know you were not sick. I have gone to bed and my teeth were chattering that my body was cold. I waking up in a hot sweat soon after that. Totally mind blowing.
I still have the monthly visit that is part of a woman's life. It is shorter, but the cramps are a pain. I would say a little worse than normal. I handle it fine, but it was something I noticed.
Let's not forget the PMS stage. For me, PMS was always a time where I was not pleasant to be around. Now, it is amplified. Unfortunately, chocolate does not solve that problem. Still, I can snap, then realize - WTH was that about?
Definitely some things to mention to my gynocologist. I also have to remember that with type 2 diabetes, the same issues can happen, so I have to be careful how my blood sugar is ranging during these times. Of course, when it is that time of the month, my blood sugar is high and I have never been able to get it to lower until it is almost done. That is frustrating.
So, at this time, I am dreading taking the dogs out for that last walk. I know with the storms all around, it will be humid out there. I hope it has cooled off for a bit. That would be nice.
Making a Health Shift...
I was supposed to go out to dinner tonight, but the person who wanted to go out to dinner failed to remember her prior commitments. Luckily, I was prepared! I had left overs!
So, as I was eating my heated up left overs, I started analyzing my eating habits. Perhaps, I am doing this all wrong. When I attended the diabetes education course, the nutritionist asked when I would have my heaviest meal. I said dinner. I was used to having a light breakfast, moderate lunch, and perhaps, a little heavier meal.
I got to thinking about that dynamic. Perhaps, it is time to switch it up a bit. Have my heaviest meal for breakfast, something moderate at lunch, and lighten it up at dinner. Might be a good idea to start having soup and salad at night. Granted, one can make that meal pretty heavy, but by the same token, that meal can be light, if done right.
Just having so much trouble trying to drop weight. Let's compound that problem by having difficulties just trying to get the steps done due to lower back and leg issues. The pain the past few days has been so intense that I finally made the effort to find a new primary care physician and get an appointment for a physical. I won't get into the issues with my current PCP, but let's just say, when she took over the practice from my previous PCP, we did not see eye to eye and she caused a great health scare for me. Furthermore, I did not care for her lack of attention when it came to my blood work. It was a real mess.
I will admit, she got me to a hand specialist for my trigger finger issue. However, that issue has moved over to my right hand and I am not too keen to get another shot in the hand just yet. Believe me, it was not pleasant, but it did help my left hand. I just need to get some more courage gathered up before I go that route.
So, while I have it in my heart and mind to try to be healthy, I need to shake things up a bit. I also need to get the chronic pain to stop as well. That way, I can be on my way to being more active. Easy part - shaking up the eating pattern. The rest will take time.
So, as I was eating my heated up left overs, I started analyzing my eating habits. Perhaps, I am doing this all wrong. When I attended the diabetes education course, the nutritionist asked when I would have my heaviest meal. I said dinner. I was used to having a light breakfast, moderate lunch, and perhaps, a little heavier meal.
I got to thinking about that dynamic. Perhaps, it is time to switch it up a bit. Have my heaviest meal for breakfast, something moderate at lunch, and lighten it up at dinner. Might be a good idea to start having soup and salad at night. Granted, one can make that meal pretty heavy, but by the same token, that meal can be light, if done right.
Just having so much trouble trying to drop weight. Let's compound that problem by having difficulties just trying to get the steps done due to lower back and leg issues. The pain the past few days has been so intense that I finally made the effort to find a new primary care physician and get an appointment for a physical. I won't get into the issues with my current PCP, but let's just say, when she took over the practice from my previous PCP, we did not see eye to eye and she caused a great health scare for me. Furthermore, I did not care for her lack of attention when it came to my blood work. It was a real mess.
I will admit, she got me to a hand specialist for my trigger finger issue. However, that issue has moved over to my right hand and I am not too keen to get another shot in the hand just yet. Believe me, it was not pleasant, but it did help my left hand. I just need to get some more courage gathered up before I go that route.
So, while I have it in my heart and mind to try to be healthy, I need to shake things up a bit. I also need to get the chronic pain to stop as well. That way, I can be on my way to being more active. Easy part - shaking up the eating pattern. The rest will take time.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
The Who Hits 50!
After the fire, the fire still burns
The heart grows older but never ever learns
The memories smolder and the soul always yearns
After the fire, the fire still burns
The heart grows older but never ever learns
The memories smolder and the soul always yearns
After the fire, the fire still burns
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Taking That Huge Leap of Faith...
Since January, I have been concerned with my financial well-being. Let's be honest - I am not getting any younger and retirement talk is swirling around me as I get older. When I looked at where I was financially, I was not very happy.
Vet and medical bills seem to hang over my head a lot. I did create a checking account with my bonus this year for the dogs. I think that was a smart move, but on the other hand, I had nothing to pay down my credit cards. That situation was making me sick to my stomach.
One day, I had discussed my credit card headaches with a friend from work. He had suggested taking out a loan on my 401K. At first, I balked about it - I did not need the headaches of filling out forms for early withdrawal penalties. My friend explained that the money was a loan and you paid yourself back, so the government would not penalize me, unless I failed to pay back the loan.
My friend went into detail about his troubles, which were similar to mine. Granted, financial advisors will try to deter you from doing this because you won't get any interest gained on the amount of the loan. Also, there is always that possibility of pumping back up your credit card debt. That one worries me.
It is not that I want to run out and "CHARGE!" It is simply a problem that downward spiraled when I was young. I had gotten to a point in my life where my financial woes were hurting me, so I took the slap in the face and worked on correcting it. That was when my bonus money was always put to good use. I would make a purchase on a credit card, pay monthly charges, when I got my bonus, pay off the purchase. I had my debt down fairly low, but still had work to do.
Soon, life got out of control again, so did the credit card debt. The things I depended upon to help me financially were no longer there and I made tough choices. However, that did not help the vicious circle I found myself.
This week, I took the huge leap of faith to borrow money from my 401K to reduce my debt. The plan is to pay off all high interest credit cards. That right there will help my situation immensely. Whatever is leftover, pay a few other credit card bills. The debt at that point should be manageable and the company will take out a specified amount of money from my paycheck each pay period. That amount will be far less than what the credit card companies are getting from me.
Once I have all of that established, I want to see someone about how to go about taking some of that money and moving it to another account that builds on that money. That way, I can build income for getting a house.
Everything seems all good and rosy with that "happy path." I am well aware of pitfalls, which I have a plan to avoid. I really want this to work out, so I am out from under this huge black cloud hanging over my head. Perhaps, that will allow me not to worry so much and enjoy life a little bit more.
Vet and medical bills seem to hang over my head a lot. I did create a checking account with my bonus this year for the dogs. I think that was a smart move, but on the other hand, I had nothing to pay down my credit cards. That situation was making me sick to my stomach.
One day, I had discussed my credit card headaches with a friend from work. He had suggested taking out a loan on my 401K. At first, I balked about it - I did not need the headaches of filling out forms for early withdrawal penalties. My friend explained that the money was a loan and you paid yourself back, so the government would not penalize me, unless I failed to pay back the loan.
My friend went into detail about his troubles, which were similar to mine. Granted, financial advisors will try to deter you from doing this because you won't get any interest gained on the amount of the loan. Also, there is always that possibility of pumping back up your credit card debt. That one worries me.
It is not that I want to run out and "CHARGE!" It is simply a problem that downward spiraled when I was young. I had gotten to a point in my life where my financial woes were hurting me, so I took the slap in the face and worked on correcting it. That was when my bonus money was always put to good use. I would make a purchase on a credit card, pay monthly charges, when I got my bonus, pay off the purchase. I had my debt down fairly low, but still had work to do.
Soon, life got out of control again, so did the credit card debt. The things I depended upon to help me financially were no longer there and I made tough choices. However, that did not help the vicious circle I found myself.
This week, I took the huge leap of faith to borrow money from my 401K to reduce my debt. The plan is to pay off all high interest credit cards. That right there will help my situation immensely. Whatever is leftover, pay a few other credit card bills. The debt at that point should be manageable and the company will take out a specified amount of money from my paycheck each pay period. That amount will be far less than what the credit card companies are getting from me.
Once I have all of that established, I want to see someone about how to go about taking some of that money and moving it to another account that builds on that money. That way, I can build income for getting a house.
Everything seems all good and rosy with that "happy path." I am well aware of pitfalls, which I have a plan to avoid. I really want this to work out, so I am out from under this huge black cloud hanging over my head. Perhaps, that will allow me not to worry so much and enjoy life a little bit more.
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