Friday, June 22, 2012

Another Birthday for the Books...

June 22nd - I turned 46 today.  Oddly enough, the number means nothing to me.  It is not how old I feel.  In my own mind, I am still some sassy 25 year old.  My body, on the other hand, tells a different story.  Girl who cuts my hair is only about 5 years younger than me and she thinks I look like I am still in my 30's.  (So does she.)

I would like to think that my mind's age has a lot to do with how I look.  I have no intentions of getting any plastic surgery to keep me young looking.  I pray to grow old gracefully.  I see the wrinkles in my face beginning to form, but I try not to hide them.  The lines are a reflection of the time spent in this life - I have earned them.

My life is still in a constant uproar.  I am praying that the revelation of recent information will allow me to leave the rut I have found myself.  An opportunity to grow and take away a lot of the stress I have to manage.  I am quite tired of it and find that work is consuming my life.  That is not how work should be - people work to live, not live to work.  I thought I would have more accomplished in my life, but as it stands, that is not the case.  However, I need to take that situation and turn it around or leave.  Leaving is the less confrontational mode - still, something needs to be said.  How to say it without any retaliation, that is a mystery for me.

Time to toddle off to bed.  I have been way too deep for one day.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Riding the blood sugar waves...

I think have finally settled on the "magical" number.  I am taking 76 units of insulin at this point.  Most days, when I eat really healthy, my morning blood sugar is below 150.  Now, if I totally screw up or fall off the wagon, I have a bit of difficulty getting my blood sugar down, but eventually, the situation gets better.

Tomorrow is a big day.  I go back to see the doctor after 3 months of working on my health.  I know I have not lost much weight, but that requires some work on my part.  I need to exercise more. 

I have been doing a lot of reading.  I got caught up with reading the Fifty Shades trilogy.  Next, I started reading the last two Charlaine Harris books, Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood.  Now, I am going to work on Crossfire by James Patterson.  I also downloaded two Charlaine Harris Sookie Stackhouse collection of stories, then Herman Melville's Moby Dick.  What I found was that I really got a kick of reading using Kindle.  I found myself reading from the iPhone from time to time as a short break.  When I got home, I would be able to sync the Kindle DX or Kindle for the PC or iPad to get to where I left off reading.  That was pretty nice.

I did something I probably should not have done today.  My father is not spending time at the house.  He leaves the A/C off and the place gets unbearably hot.  I could not bear to leave mom's ashes there in that heat.  I brought her ashes along with BJ and Stormy's home with me. 

I have cried off and on today over bringing them home.  I find it comforting to have mom here.  I know she is gone, but I felt that her presence has come along and it is comforting to me. 

Tomorrow, I will clear off the top area of the entertainment area that the apartment built.  I will put mom and the "boys" up there.  I also brought home the photo albums.  I love to look at those.  During the last couple of months of mom's life, she would go through the photo albums over and over. 

This week will be a busy one.  I hope all goes well with the doctor's office.