Depeche Mode - But Not Tonight - Live
Depeche Mode - Precious - Live
Last night was my third time to see Depeche Mode perform. I am not sure if what happened to me last night was due to hormones, stress, or what. I had previously been frustrated with work, worried about the swelling around my feet, then dealing with the doctor's visit that morning. Getting to the concert was my escape from everything.
I got to the concert a good hour before the opening band would start. I was quite happy about that because after driving down to the "Fair Grounds" area is stressful enough. Against my own better judgement, I bought a tour t-shirt, rubber bracelet, and tour program. I always get a tour program if I can. I usually put the ticket into the tour program and I can go back and revisit those memories.
I giggled at the kids getting their picture taken at the VEVO stand. It was very funny - the kids put on these funky sun glasses and get their picture taken with a huge poster of the band as the backdrop. I generally looked around and smiled when I saw the Fuzzy's Taco stand in the middle of the concession area. With the little bit of drizzle going on, I headed into the venue.
I had a decent seat, but not what I really expected. I was on the end, but that was fine. Soon, a couple came and sat next to me. They were friends, Matthew and Chris. They had been friends for 17 years and they attended all of the Depeche Mode concerts. I love it when I get to sit next to friendly people. I had to agree with Chris - we all come here because we have a mutual love for the band and their music. Why do we need to be nasty to one another? Both kept me in stitches.
The opening band was Crystal Castles. I had heard the band name with something else, but I had not really looked into the band. I would describe their music as "Trance Dance Music". It has a dark, eerie beat, but it stays with you. My only problem was I could never really discern the vocalist's voice. I think she sang through a synth as well, so that disguised her voice. I have been considering purchasing a few of their records with one of my iTunes cards.
Around 8:30 PM, the opening act completed their set and we waited for the headliner to get their equipment set up. In the meantime, I went and grabbed a corn dog and soft drink. I had not had anything to eat since noon, so I could feel my blood sugar starting to make me jittery.
I got back to my seat and continued talking with Matt and Chris as well as people watching. I smiled at the girl who had the 1940's hairstyle, with hot pants, 7" platform heels, black t-shirt, and a purse with spikes on it. She was all over the place - I suppose looking for a way to get back stage. I hate how some guys take advantage of that, but it is what it is.
At 9 PM, the band came on stage and started the show. It was a powerful entrance and everyone was on their feet. I was able to get close to the stage to get some video clips. Unfortunately, my old iPhone 3GS has a crap camera. I know - time to upgrade and I will. I am just going to wait for the hysteria over the iPhone 5S to die down a bit.
The two links I posted above were two songs that actually brought tears to my eyes. Oddly enough, I found I was not alone. The first link is with Martin Gore singing "But Not Tonight." That song is one of my very favorites from the band and that was the first time I had ever heard it performed. What was bringing tears to my eyes was that whole audience was singing the lyrics so loudly back to Martin. Also, the lyrics matched the weather. It had been raining for most of the day and it was still sprinkling that evening. However, in some instances, you could see a full moon shining. The whole thing worked on so many levels.
"Precious" is another of my favorites. I had seen the band perform this song live and read that Martin had written it regarding his children and what they had to endure while his wife and he were going through a divorce. With the backdrop of the dogs, the song took on a whole different meaning to me. I had read somewhere that this person would photograph dogs before they were euthanized at a pound. So, hearing "My God, what have we done to you..." tore me apart.
Another amazing backdrop was during "Enjoy the Silence." There are about 5 women in the pretzel form pressed against a plexiglass. At first glance, you figure it might be a picture until you see one of the women blink her eyes. Very weird. All I could think was - Damn - that had to be uncomfortable!
The rest of the show was amazing for me. I love the band and their music. I always get a kick out of watching Dave Gahan dance about the stage. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing Depeche Mode and as their song says "Just Can't Get Enough" of them.
Funny story about that last song. I remember when Old Navy used it for their commercials a year or so before my mom died. My mom kept tapping her foot to the song when the commercial played. Finally, she asked me what it was. I told her it was an old song from 1981 or 1982 and I had it. She had never heard it, so I put on her iPod. I would catch her playing it from time to time. It always made her smile.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Monday, September 9, 2013
Working on Feeling More Upbeat...
I got a compliment today. One of my co-workers came by to see how I was doing since the illness. She said I actually sounded better. I told her I felt better, but still have some lingering symptoms. I stated that it was probably because of my allergies. At that point, we both laughed and talked about our various allergy issues.
I am trying to see the positive in everything. Some situations, no matter what I do, it is just going to be negative. So, I am trying to ignore those.
I am always working on my blood sugar. Today, I have been lucky. Measurements are ranging around 120 - 155, which is good. I really want to focus on what planning out meals. I went to the grocery store this Sunday and bought those items I need to make the following meals:
Hungarian Chicken Goulash is my comfort food for when I think of my mother. I cannot tell you how many times she wanted me to make that for her during her last days. She loved that meal and really was thrilled when I would make it. At one point, she said that I made it better than her. I said that there was only one really great cook and that was her. I could only aspire to be as good as her. That part is very true. I can only hope to be as good of a cook as she was.
I think that by planning out the meals for the week, that helps with making the right decisions. As I have said many times, cooking meals helps me know exactly what is in the meal. There is no guessing work involved. That makes life a lot easier.
My problem is that I never do a good job of planning out meals. I bought a crock pot, which I have used many times, to help with cooking meals. However, I never seem to get that part working for me. Obviously, another project that I need to put down on my "To Do" list.
Speaking of "To Do" lists, I worked on creating a personal journal on my iPad the other day. I put in all of my long term goals, those things I want to work on changing about myself, and create a journal of those things I would love to say publicly, but better not. I think that this is a good release. My goal is to better myself internally as well as externally. Write out what I am feeling and get it out of my system.
Then, again, I am probably more OCD than I need to be. LOL
What God Wants Me To Know:
I am trying to see the positive in everything. Some situations, no matter what I do, it is just going to be negative. So, I am trying to ignore those.
I am always working on my blood sugar. Today, I have been lucky. Measurements are ranging around 120 - 155, which is good. I really want to focus on what planning out meals. I went to the grocery store this Sunday and bought those items I need to make the following meals:
- Jambalaya
- Hungarian Chicken Goulash
- Hamburgers
Hungarian Chicken Goulash is my comfort food for when I think of my mother. I cannot tell you how many times she wanted me to make that for her during her last days. She loved that meal and really was thrilled when I would make it. At one point, she said that I made it better than her. I said that there was only one really great cook and that was her. I could only aspire to be as good as her. That part is very true. I can only hope to be as good of a cook as she was.
I think that by planning out the meals for the week, that helps with making the right decisions. As I have said many times, cooking meals helps me know exactly what is in the meal. There is no guessing work involved. That makes life a lot easier.
My problem is that I never do a good job of planning out meals. I bought a crock pot, which I have used many times, to help with cooking meals. However, I never seem to get that part working for me. Obviously, another project that I need to put down on my "To Do" list.
Speaking of "To Do" lists, I worked on creating a personal journal on my iPad the other day. I put in all of my long term goals, those things I want to work on changing about myself, and create a journal of those things I would love to say publicly, but better not. I think that this is a good release. My goal is to better myself internally as well as externally. Write out what I am feeling and get it out of my system.
Then, again, I am probably more OCD than I need to be. LOL
What God Wants Me To Know:
you can conquer your fears.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
True Fatigue or Just Feeling the Beat Down...
Not quite sure if my problem is related to by past illness for the past 3 weeks or what. I get up in the morning, walk the dogs, eat breakfast, and quickly feel dragged down. It is like I exerted all of my energy in one burst and have to recover before tackling anything else.
At this point, the situation is very annoying. I just want to have a lot of energy to get the stuff done that needs to be done. I can understand being dragged down when I was really deep in being sick and having to work long nights. Now, I am starting back on my way up out of that and I wish I could feel much better. I suppose this bout of illness has truly knocked me off my feet.
Tomorrow, I need to get up early and get the groceries done. My plan is to cut up my veggies and fruit and place in containers for the week. As for the dinner, I think another week of cooking meals and eating the leftovers sounds like a great plan. Jambalaya and Hungarian Chicken Goulash sound like a really good couple of meals. Both are great the first day, but after the ingredients meld together, the meals taste better.
I think my low blood sugar days are over. Last night, I measured my blood sugar before getting dinner and it was 126. When I got home with dinner, it had climbed to 192. I tried to enjoy it while I could, but I figured that something had to be wrong or I was doing something that I did not realize.
Going to give myself another 15 minutes, then I am going to get up and start straightening up the living room. I would like to lie on the sofa with the dogs and watch a movie. Just need to rearrange the cushions, vacuum the sofa down, then freshen up the cushions with some Febreeze. After that, put down some colorful beach towels and blankets for the dogs and myself.
I just realized that my sofa is 12 years old. Before I moved out of my parents house (after feeling that my mom would be okay), I would pay my mom rent. She saved that money and used it to buy me my sofa. She let me pick it out and liked it as well. However, when I bought the parson chairs for the old kitchen table she had, she made a comment about my decorating skills. I had too many neutral colors. LOL
I probably should buy another sofa, but quite honestly, I haven't the heart. I love that sofa and it is one of the things my mom got for me. When I sit/lie on it, I think about her. I know she hated it when I moved out, but she was proud of me for making it on my own. That worried her more.
At this point, the situation is very annoying. I just want to have a lot of energy to get the stuff done that needs to be done. I can understand being dragged down when I was really deep in being sick and having to work long nights. Now, I am starting back on my way up out of that and I wish I could feel much better. I suppose this bout of illness has truly knocked me off my feet.
Tomorrow, I need to get up early and get the groceries done. My plan is to cut up my veggies and fruit and place in containers for the week. As for the dinner, I think another week of cooking meals and eating the leftovers sounds like a great plan. Jambalaya and Hungarian Chicken Goulash sound like a really good couple of meals. Both are great the first day, but after the ingredients meld together, the meals taste better.
I think my low blood sugar days are over. Last night, I measured my blood sugar before getting dinner and it was 126. When I got home with dinner, it had climbed to 192. I tried to enjoy it while I could, but I figured that something had to be wrong or I was doing something that I did not realize.
Going to give myself another 15 minutes, then I am going to get up and start straightening up the living room. I would like to lie on the sofa with the dogs and watch a movie. Just need to rearrange the cushions, vacuum the sofa down, then freshen up the cushions with some Febreeze. After that, put down some colorful beach towels and blankets for the dogs and myself.
I just realized that my sofa is 12 years old. Before I moved out of my parents house (after feeling that my mom would be okay), I would pay my mom rent. She saved that money and used it to buy me my sofa. She let me pick it out and liked it as well. However, when I bought the parson chairs for the old kitchen table she had, she made a comment about my decorating skills. I had too many neutral colors. LOL
I probably should buy another sofa, but quite honestly, I haven't the heart. I love that sofa and it is one of the things my mom got for me. When I sit/lie on it, I think about her. I know she hated it when I moved out, but she was proud of me for making it on my own. That worried her more.
Friday, September 6, 2013
A Break from the Chaos...
Today, I was supposed to be in Fort Worth and should be having a colonoscopy about now. With the upper respiratory infection, both the doctor and myself decided it would be best to postpone for a month. Rather than go ahead and work, I decided the best thing was to take yesterday and today off from work. Most of yesterday was spent dealing cleaning up the environments that were created and not done properly. Today, I refuse to get dragged into all of that.
Lately, I have been fretting over my blood sugar, but for a different reason - too low. Yep, I said it - my blood sugar levels have started to get too low. Imagine that! I have complained for years about not getting my numbers down low enough. Now, I get the numbers low and am worried about going too low.
Starting on 8/29, my blood sugar numbers started to be much lower than normal. Meaning, I was used to having my blood sugar numbers between 160 - 200. When I was sick and not taking my meds, I hit between 300 and 400 - horrible, but I was battling with stress and illness at the same time.
Since that time, I have watched my numbers lower down to between 130 - 150. Next, my numbers lowered between 110 - 130. This week, I have seen my numbers down to 74 - after eating calamari with a sweet and spicy Thai sauce, Grilled Flounder Del Rio, and Peanut Butter pie. If anything, that pie should have spiked my blood sugar. Before I left for dinner, my blood sugar was 105. I got home and walked the dogs. I started getting really shaky (mind you, having the lower numbers has caused me to be more shaky and the doctor said that my body is not used to the lower blood sugar - it has to adjust.). I measured my blood sugar, it was 74. I grabbed a juice and started drinking it. Within 15 minutes, my blood sugar was raised to 91 and I started feeling a bit better.
It has been very weird. I hate to complain about low numbers. I have been concerned that maybe my meter was off, so I got another meter yesterday (different brand as well). I measured my blood sugar with my normal meter and it was 88. I measured with the new meter and it was 85. That confirmed for me that my meter obviously was not broken.
I feel bad for worrying so much, but this is was something I figured I would never have to worry. My blood sugar was always high, no matter how well I would eat. Maybe I have finally found the right medication combination to keep my blood sugar low.
What are my plans for today? I think it would be good to do a "clean and purge". Work on making Bo and, more importantly, Chloe very happy - clear off the sofa, freshen it up, and put down some beach towels and blankets so that we all can enjoy TV together. Also, get some laundry done.
Time to start all of those nice projects!
Lately, I have been fretting over my blood sugar, but for a different reason - too low. Yep, I said it - my blood sugar levels have started to get too low. Imagine that! I have complained for years about not getting my numbers down low enough. Now, I get the numbers low and am worried about going too low.
Starting on 8/29, my blood sugar numbers started to be much lower than normal. Meaning, I was used to having my blood sugar numbers between 160 - 200. When I was sick and not taking my meds, I hit between 300 and 400 - horrible, but I was battling with stress and illness at the same time.
Since that time, I have watched my numbers lower down to between 130 - 150. Next, my numbers lowered between 110 - 130. This week, I have seen my numbers down to 74 - after eating calamari with a sweet and spicy Thai sauce, Grilled Flounder Del Rio, and Peanut Butter pie. If anything, that pie should have spiked my blood sugar. Before I left for dinner, my blood sugar was 105. I got home and walked the dogs. I started getting really shaky (mind you, having the lower numbers has caused me to be more shaky and the doctor said that my body is not used to the lower blood sugar - it has to adjust.). I measured my blood sugar, it was 74. I grabbed a juice and started drinking it. Within 15 minutes, my blood sugar was raised to 91 and I started feeling a bit better.
It has been very weird. I hate to complain about low numbers. I have been concerned that maybe my meter was off, so I got another meter yesterday (different brand as well). I measured my blood sugar with my normal meter and it was 88. I measured with the new meter and it was 85. That confirmed for me that my meter obviously was not broken.
I feel bad for worrying so much, but this is was something I figured I would never have to worry. My blood sugar was always high, no matter how well I would eat. Maybe I have finally found the right medication combination to keep my blood sugar low.
What are my plans for today? I think it would be good to do a "clean and purge". Work on making Bo and, more importantly, Chloe very happy - clear off the sofa, freshen it up, and put down some beach towels and blankets so that we all can enjoy TV together. Also, get some laundry done.
Time to start all of those nice projects!
Sunday, September 1, 2013
New Month and New Goals...
It is the first of September. Time to start fresh again and make some new minor goals. Try to whittle away at the clutter in my apartment as well as my own weight. Try to regain more patience, rather than losing it.
Also, I need to try a spending fast. Granted, I went to the drug store several times in vain to get things that would help me feel better. However, I prepared dinner and ate either freshly made or left over meals. That actually made me feel better because I was not spending $10-$20 for lunch and dinner. I like that savings and I know exactly what was in my meals. I ate better and the results show in my blood sugar readings. Heaven only knows how difficult it has been for me to keep my numbers down.
During the week, my friend with Type 2 diabetes told me that her blood sugar number at the doctor's office was high. She claimed that she ate healthy the next day and her numbers were down, so she went to one of the fancy grocery stores to stock up on veggies, hummus, and eggs. The part that blew me away was the statement that the next time we went to dinner, she wanted us to go to healthy places to eat - places where she could have a salad with boiled egg.
That blew me away because every place we went to eat, there was a healthy choice to be made. I realize that I can be weak on selecting the poor choices. However, I made the choice and was responsible for the results. I should have said that, but being ill, I just did not want the hassle. It really agitated me that it seemed the statement about dinner places was directed towards me. Not sure really what to do at this point.
Since I have an extra day due to the Labor Day weekend, I am going to work on the kitchen and living room. I did not get much done yesterday as I spent most of it in bed sleeping. I suppose I really needed the extra rest. The downside to sleeping most of the day away was around 1:30 AM, I was wide awake. Luckily, I had fallen sleep watching 'Allo, 'Allo on KERA and it was showing a new series on Mystery Theater called Silk.
Silk is about a British law firm. Two of the main lawyers, a man and a woman, are up for "Silk" (QC robes are made of silk) or QC (Queen's Counsel). The series actually follows along the female applicant, Martha Costello. I find the series interesting because it is a view on how the British courts and law works. The show kept my interest, so I am looking forward to watching the next episode playing at 8 PM tonight.
Hoping that the rest of the weekend stays calm and quiet. Quicker I get better, the quicker I can get back on my feet and get stuff done.
Also, I need to try a spending fast. Granted, I went to the drug store several times in vain to get things that would help me feel better. However, I prepared dinner and ate either freshly made or left over meals. That actually made me feel better because I was not spending $10-$20 for lunch and dinner. I like that savings and I know exactly what was in my meals. I ate better and the results show in my blood sugar readings. Heaven only knows how difficult it has been for me to keep my numbers down.
During the week, my friend with Type 2 diabetes told me that her blood sugar number at the doctor's office was high. She claimed that she ate healthy the next day and her numbers were down, so she went to one of the fancy grocery stores to stock up on veggies, hummus, and eggs. The part that blew me away was the statement that the next time we went to dinner, she wanted us to go to healthy places to eat - places where she could have a salad with boiled egg.
That blew me away because every place we went to eat, there was a healthy choice to be made. I realize that I can be weak on selecting the poor choices. However, I made the choice and was responsible for the results. I should have said that, but being ill, I just did not want the hassle. It really agitated me that it seemed the statement about dinner places was directed towards me. Not sure really what to do at this point.
Since I have an extra day due to the Labor Day weekend, I am going to work on the kitchen and living room. I did not get much done yesterday as I spent most of it in bed sleeping. I suppose I really needed the extra rest. The downside to sleeping most of the day away was around 1:30 AM, I was wide awake. Luckily, I had fallen sleep watching 'Allo, 'Allo on KERA and it was showing a new series on Mystery Theater called Silk.
Silk is about a British law firm. Two of the main lawyers, a man and a woman, are up for "Silk" (QC robes are made of silk) or QC (Queen's Counsel). The series actually follows along the female applicant, Martha Costello. I find the series interesting because it is a view on how the British courts and law works. The show kept my interest, so I am looking forward to watching the next episode playing at 8 PM tonight.
Hoping that the rest of the weekend stays calm and quiet. Quicker I get better, the quicker I can get back on my feet and get stuff done.
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