Little Changes Make a Difference...

I actually believe that this is true and am working on making as many small changes as I can.  As of late, I strive to "level up" to the next 1000 steps each hour in my 10,000 step program.  That actually works out pretty well.  Still, at the end of the day, I may have to work harder to get the rest of the steps done.

When I attend hockey games, I try to get to the arena early enough to make a few laps around the concourse.  As I explained to my trainer, the hardest part on doing this is getting past the people.  It is incredible how people have a huge tendency to just stand in the middle of the walk ways.  Just standing there talking or what have you.  My trainer laughed about it being an obstacle course and in many ways, it really is.  You have to scan ahead and make last minute decisions if you slow down or move around people.  Overall, it has proven to help me tremendously.

The whole point of the "level up" is not just getting my number of steps done, but I am forcing myself to get up more often.  I am so used to just sitting at my desk for hours at a time.  When I get up, my muscles and such ache.  Not a pleasant feeling at all.  However, when I am more active, my stiffness is not so bad.  I just get annoyed at waiting on people to respond to questions or someone requiring immediate responses.  They prevent me from getting up and moving around in a timely manner and I pay for it the moment I stand up.

My endo had suggested that I work out with the machines, rather than free weights.  I get my trainer's philosophy on free weights helping burn more calories.  The problem is that if my back starts hurting, our session ends a lot earlier.  Last night was the first time for us to use the machines.  The trainer had me do some free weight exercises, but for the most part, my back never started up with the pain.  That was good.  Also, I am sure the trainer would be happy to know - yes, I am sore from the work out.  That is the goal!  My bonus is that my back is not hurting and that is the last thing I want to injure.  Otherwise, I will never get the weight off of this frame.

So, if something is not working out the right way, it is okay to do something different.  As they say, there are a many ways to solve a problem.  You just need to find the one that works for you.

Getting Back on the Tracks...

Is it possible to suffer from both OCD and ADD?  I tend to believe it and have both.  For instance, this entry must use "Georgia" typeface, then...Oooo...something new and sparkly...

I do know for a fact that I have OCD to a certain degrees.  When I clean, it takes forever, when I should be using the old adage - It is good enough for government work.  However, that statement is offensive to those of my friends who work for the government.  

Last night, I got to thinking - when I went wheels off with my life in March/April, I was working on writing a book and losing weight.  Earlier this year, I bought a MacBook Pro and I do not use it very much.  So, as I was thinking of what I was doing with my life, the bit about writing hit me again.  The whole novel thing has been eating at me for weeks.  I figure I really need to listen to whatever it is that my head is telling me.  There must be something to it - maybe the thought of trying and see how well I do.  Who knows, but it is just eating at me all of the time.

So, while I decided to check out the MacBook Pro, I downloaded a couple of writing software programs to help me.  I still have the beginnings of what I started on my new iPad 3.  Not sure if I want to continue there or transfer the thoughts/ideas/outline over to my MacBook Pro.  

Upon reflection, I realize why I stalled and gained weight.  I got nervous and upset over realizing that if I did lose a good bit of this excess weight, I would have excess skin hanging.  I just need to face the facts - it is going to happen.  If Mr. Right does come along, he will understand or God will help me sort it out on this path.  I just need to have faith.

I think the same is true with the novel.  I started taking the on-line course regarding writing and felt so overwhelmed.  There was no reason for feeling like that.  Mainly, the instructor was giving me some really positive feedback to my writing lessons.  I should have felt empowered and not scared.  I wonder if I am just scared of success.

When I worked for IBM, I would get awards and such, but I would feel embarrassed.  I did not want it to go to my head.  When I started working for my current company, I felt left out when my promotions were never announced.  It made me feel like the red-headed step child who got the promotion, but was never to be heard or seen.  It would very well be that the director really never wanted to promote me or was incredibly lazy.  I think there is some truth in both.

Well, this time around, I just need to burrow my head down and get on with it.  I need to unlock the mystery to find out where I stand.  Was my mother right - no man would have me as their wife because I was a overweight and a bitch?  (I know - that seems harsh, but my mother was about cold, hard honesty.  Who else should tell you that other than your own mother?)

Just last night, I was looking at pictures of various people who recently got married and how happy they are.  I am very happy for them, but I always wonder, will I ever know that happiness or do people see that with me, even though I am alone?

It was just a thought...

Today, we believe God wants you to know that ...

creativity is good for the soul.

Creativity is when your spirit gets a chance to play and express itself. So whether art, dance, cooking, making music, writing, or creating a garden, let yourself go! Create!

Health Update...

This week, I visited the endocrinologist's office for my 3 month check-up.  As I suspected, my A1C and weight were up from my last check up.  I went in there knowing that my system was not in the right mode and had already accepted the responsibilities for my actions.

What now?  Well, I am in week 2 of drinking hunger shakes for breakfast and lunch, then having healthy snacks and dinner.  This week was a bit easier when I baked chicken.  The left overs helped with the calorie counts and such. 

I have been working on trying to fit in more exercise as I can.  Last night, I got to the arena early for the hockey game and walked the concourse about 3 times.  Whew!  I was actually sweating when I got to my seat.  I really should get there earlier and walk it about 4 to 6 times without so many people around there.  Today, there will be no game, so I may start binge watching TV shows where I can walk in place in front of the TV.  I have to get the weight off.

What I find fascinating is everyone with all of their tips on losing weight.  What I should and should not eat.  Unfortunately, if you state a particular food is forbidden, I start to crave it.  I wish people would stop with forbidden foods.  If you are allergic, I understand.  However, I want to feel that moderation is the key.  It is okay to have a "regular" sandwich as long as I accept the calorie and carb counts for that meal.  Heck - I had a small hamburger for a snack on Saturday because I was experiencing a low blood sugar drop.  It was not terribly horrible for me to have and I got the craving for a burger out of my system.

I told the endo of my back problems.  I will start to work out and my back will start this sharp, pinching pain.  I can sit down and that relieves the pain.  It is horribly annoying because I want to get the weight off.  My endo suggested that rather than doing free weights, I need to start using the machines for back support.  His belief was that if I continue to workout with back pain, I will end up injuring my back and not be able to work out.  I do that, I will gain weight.  I had already proven - with diet and exercise, I lost weight and my health improved.

At this point, time to work on my game plan and keep looking towards the light.  Maybe this ugly ducking can be a beautiful swan some day.

Today, we believe God wants you to know that ...

you will blossom.

A flower starts deep under the dirt and has to fight against gravity in the darkness before finally breaking free and opening its bloom to the sun. You may feel like you're in darkness and everything around you is muddy, but keep pushing toward the Light and when the time is right, you will burst into blossom.

Communication Breakdown...

Earlier this year, I bought three tickets to see the band, Erasure.  A week before the show, my friend who was to attend the concert let me know he and his partner would not be able to attend.  Granted, I could have gone by myself, but after so much activity, I needed a break.  So, I decided to resell the tickets via TicketMaster.

Reselling was pretty easy, but I feel that the information was very misleading.  According to the information on the web site, if I sold the tickets, then I would get my money within about 7 days.  That has not happened.

Last Sunday, I got an email stating that all three tickets had sold.  Yay!  The email stated that if I needed to verify my accounts, then I would be getting an email shortly.  Two days later, I noticed that TicketMaster deposited two small amounts to my banking account, but nothing on what this was.  However, I figured I would keep waiting for the money to appear in my checking account.  

By yesterday, it was seven days and nothing.  I called TicketMaster and they told me that I should have received an email stating to verify my bank account based upon the amounts that were deposited.  I never got that email and stated that such a breakdown in communication was misleading.  The person on the phone apologized, but stated that until I verify the account, I would not be able to get the money.  Therefore, I went into my account and verified the amount.

This morning, I get an email from TicketMaster to verify the account based upon the two amounts deposited in my account.  I have to wonder - Does this happen to everyone who attempts to re-sell their tickets through them?  I just checked my account and there is no "Verify" button available at this time.  How annoying!

Over the years, I have told people that email alerts are not very reliable.  First, you have to make sure you have the right email address - definitely not the problem with my particular scenario.  Second, email servers have to be able reliable.  I cannot tell  you how many times I was asked to set up a system to email out data and one manager would be on top of me when the email server failed to forward out the email.  Worst part, getting someone to correct the issue.  Third, if you have a huge influx of data and such, your email dispatches can be delayed by hours. 

While I know that e-mail alerts are so cool to have, depending on them can be a real issue.  There are so many open holes.  For this scenario, all of the instructions should have been upfront - not piece by piece via email.  This misleads the users.  Will this post cause a change - probably not, but for anyone reading this, you might want to think about a back up plan before relying totally on emails.

Should We Apply Religious Beliefs to Our Eating Habits...

One day, I was discussing food choices with someone who is also diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.  At one point in the discussion, this sentence was tossed out:

Satan makes bad foods taste good.

I realize that this person is very religious.  I have no issues with that.  Everyone has their beliefs.  However, is it really a good idea to apply that to your eating habits?

In every article I read regarding weight-loss, many articles stress the point of not feeling guilty when you fall off the wagon or eat something that you normally would not.  The idea behind that is if you beat yourself up, you run the risk of going into that vicious circle where you end up just stopping from eating healthy altogether.

I found that part of the conversation very disturbing.  I realize that the serpent tempted Eve with the apple, then Eve tempted Adam with the apple from the forbidden tree.  It is just unfortunate it was associated with food, especially a fruit that is good for you to eat to boot!   Probably would have made better sense if the forbidden food had been the triple heart attack hamburger, but that was not known at that time.

I have a feeling that someone is going to call blasphemy on me for that last sentence, but come on!  An apple?!  What is the old saying - An apple a day will keep the doctor away?  I think the real point is God designated one tree, which had delicious apples, that Adam and Eve were not supposed to have.  The moral is about temptation, not food.

Yes, there are tons of so-called "bad" foods out there.  However, I do not think that God or Satan had anything to do with that.  The food tastes great, but incredibly loaded with things that are bad for people health wise.  I do not apply religious references in regard to food.  For me, it makes no sense.  If I eat something I normally would not, such as a piece of cheesecake or a cookie, I try to make that a "treat" and have them sparingly.  Basically, get that craving out of my system and move along. 

Such conversations make me smile and laugh.  However, sometimes, I have to stop and think about it a bit.

 

First Week Back Is Always the Hardest...

I took the bull by the reins and forged forward with my plans to change my life.  Well, working on changing the physical vision.  It is definitely a struggle.  Loads of crap still in the apartment and I hate wasting food.

Last night, I finished off the leftover pizza.  This afternoon, I had the leftover Chinese food.  I even got rid of the spinach dip.  

Now, you are asking yourself "How is that changing your life?"  Well, I have been drinking the hunger shakes twice a day and I am working on trying to walk more, striving for the 10,000 steps a day.  Also, cutting back on the sodas and drinking more water.  I felt I had to rid myself of the garbage, so that I may bring into my life the "good stuff".  My blood sugar has been showing signs that the change is working.

In the beginning, my blood sugar actually reached 543 one afternoon.  No matter how much water I was drinking was not bringing that number down.  However, doing this turn around, my numbers are dipping down in the low 100s.  As a matter of fact, I reached 81 on my blood sugar and I was getting dizzy and the shakes.  Happy for the number, but unhappy over the side-effects.

Yes, this is a LONG HAUL to change my physical self, but that is not about being vain.  It is about being healthy.  I had a vision at the beginning of this year and quite honestly, no reason why I cannot achieve it.  I need to quit worrying over how someone will view me.  I need to be happy with myself.  Maybe that huge crush I have won't be interested in me, but I would love to be happy with me.  Therefore, I am trying to change those things that I can change.  Anything I cannot change will just have to remain and work around it.

How is that for positivity?!

Working the Cash Jar and Examining a Spending Fast...

Earlier this year, I saw posted an idea for saving money.  It was called the "Cash Jar".  Basically, you put in an amount of money that represents the week of the year.  For example, the first week of the year, you put aside $1.  The second week, you put aside $2 and so forth.  By the end of the year, I should have close to $1400.00

Amazingly, I have kept up with that scheme.  I put aside cash as well as putting aside money into my savings account, so that I sort of double my investment.  One woman had stated that she was starting at the end of the year and working back to the beginning, so she would start her cash jar with $52.00.  On reflection, that is not really a bad idea - realizing that bills tend to accumulate towards the end of the year.

This year has been a rather expensive one.  I suppose the first clue should have been when I cleared my deductible with one purchase of insulin refills in January.  Next, Chloe and the local vet.  The constant going back to the vet for more blood draws to figure out her liver issues when it was not really her liver at all - it was her gall bladder.  I spent thousands trying to sort out Chloe's issues.  That hurts.

Now, I am back to this dark financial hole I had dug myself out of a few years ago.  I started back to trying to cut back on expenses as much as I can.  Sure, I will still allow myself to get the occasional mani/pedi and hair cut because I need those.  However, I will be cutting back on buying make-up, not eating out as often (which will help me with weight loss and the grocery bill), doing the shake diet where I buy the shakes and watch how much I buy for dinners - eat the left-overs whether I like it or not.  I make the trip to Starbucks a special occasion and probably always will ever since the dietician told me that I was not supposed to have a cafe mocha anymore due to my diabetes.  I still have the occasional one for the season - like a grande pumpkin latte or peppermint mocha for the holidays.  I just do not go there every day.  

I may even consider pulling back on purchasing season tickets for the Dallas Stars next year until my financial situation looks better.  I think I may look at a half-season or 10 game plan.  Do not get me wrong - I LOVE HOCKEY, but I need to make some sacrifices.  

The same will be true for concerts.  I went to more concerts this year than last year, but that was because I really needed to attend the Retro Futura show since I moaned that they never come to Dallas.  In the end, I met one of my favorite singers and left floating on air.  That was well worth the $54.  

As with my health, the time is now to start making amends for my poor financial situation.  It is not horrible and a lot of the time, I would sit in my car and pray that God would help me see through the expensive times with Chloe.  However, I have to do my part in trying to save, so that I can help pull myself into a better situation.

False Representations...

After my high school reunion, I was on the phone talking with someone I had graduated with and attended the reunion.  The person started going on about how people were wearing cowboy boots and such as if they had always worn them.  In a nutshell, these people were "fake" because they were wearing western wear at the reunion.

While I usually blow off that sort of thing, I started thinking.  How "real" is everyone?  I mean, just because you wear a certain style of clothing for one night does not make you "fake".  That is not what I am talking about in regards to being "real".  How much are you being your true self?

One girl may look sincere and sweet from afar, but when you actually talk to her, read her, or get her true vibe, she is very fake.  Another one is the person what treats you like you are close friends, but the honest truth is you never see one another, so how can you truly be "close?"

More and more, I find myself seeing through the garbage and feeling the vibes.  Sometimes, it can be a real downer, but the truth - I would rather know the honest side, rather than the, well, bullshit.  If you would rather have nothing to do with me, then go your own way and I will go mine.  It is a huge world out there.

I suppose on the other end of that spectrum are those who feel they were close friends, but one side drops away suddenly.  I have this one friend who constantly tries to make me feel that we are close - maybe because I had a huge crush back in high school or whatever.  However, I only see this person every once in awhile.  The honest truth, after high school, I realized there was that "fakeness" in the friendship.  Tons of promises that never got realized or told of being invited to things that never materialized. 

I take everything and everyone at face value.  However, I have learned to hone in on my gut feeling.  Unfortunately, it is never wrong.  If I get a bad vibe, I am pretty much right.  Sometimes, it is best to leave well enough alone.  I need to hone into that more often.

So, just because someone decides to wear western wear one night may not make them a "cowboy/cowgirl", but their true selves could be very well on display.  You have just have to see through the superficial.

The Time is NOW!!!

For the past few months, it has been "I need to get back on the wagon."  "I know I have not been doing my part." and so forth.  Well, now, I need to take charge of my life.  I realized how crazy life has been the past few months and now, I need to change it to where it benefits me - not kill me.

The reunion planning is over and all other fall out from that, I am going to have to pass on worrying over it.  I do plan on doing something a bit different this week regarding the reunion, but I will post about that "after" I do it.

This weekend, I slept as much as I could possibly get sleep.  Basically, I wasted a perfectly good weekend that I should have used for cleaning the apartment to catch up on energy and sleep.  I feel better today.  Apparently, my body was craving the rest.  Granted, the apartment looks like hell, I will sit down and sort out my cleaning attack plan for the next few weeks.

When I went grocery shopping, I only bought a few things, even though it was over $120.  That part amazes me, but a majority of the groceries was fruit and veggies.  That is a bummer, but then again, I was at the regular grocery store and not Sprouts.  I usually get a better deal there.

Back on track, I am going to get myself back onto what I was doing at the first of the year.  I will do the Glucerna shakes twice a day, breakfast and lunch, then eat something healthy for snacks and dinner.  I decided to make goulash for dinner tonight, a comfort food that my mom would make, and have it for dinner for the next few days.  I also bought various salads, so that I could have salad with the meal.  I found that I buy too many items at the grocery store and so much stuff would simply just ruin.  It was better to buy a few items and see where I land.  It really made me mad to waste so much food.

The other part where I need to reach out and grab it is to exercise.  I know I joined the "Million Step Challenge", but I have not really been reaching my potential.  Rather than sitting in front of the computer, what I need to do is turn on the TV and do my steps as I had earlier this year.  I watched the BBC drama MI-5, which was quite interesting and I got caught up on all of my The Big Bang Theory.  I have on Netflix to watch North and South, Robin Hood (BBC version), Dr. Who, and various other shows.  (Anyone who is a Richard Armitage fan will notice the trend here.  If only...*sigh*)

I found that by doing the steps in front of the TV, not only did I get about 3000+ steps done, I was reaching my goals for increasing my pulse in a healthy way.  So, time to get that back on track as well.

I need to be more conscious of the time I spend.  I invested in season tickets to the Dallas Stars hockey games.  I know one way to incorporate some exercise there is to walk the concourse - twice.  I just have to get there two hours in advance of the game.  This Saturday will prove that theory will work.  Also, I have promised myself that I can have cinnamon roasted nuts at least once a month.  I love those roasted nuts there and if I have them at every game, everything I worked for will be out the window.

Another way I need to be conscious of the time I spend is people who want me to go out with them.  There are some friends I can depend upon for going out when they say "Let's go out" and have no issues.  For example, my time with Random Cathy.  Going out and getting a mani/pedi, then a hot tea/coffee or even having lunch/dinner is actually a time when I love coming home and feeling energized.  I hope the same is true for Cathy.  However, I have friends where their conversation and such just drain me.  Even worse, they say, "Hey, let's have dinner on Friday night." and I never hear from them until I call them and they say "Oh, it just is not working out."  That is just rude - at least, call earlier in the day so that I can make other plans.  I really do not wish to spend more time with that sort of thing as it is wasting my time.

Time to get the day started...hope everyone has a great day!

When You Disagree With Someone Else's Actions...

When I joined a Facebook group regarding Diabetes, I was drawn to the young woman running it.  She is a truly amazing person.  However, I am beginning to have my doubts about the actions of her page followers.

One person posted that he was upset that his friends were not taking his type 1 seriously.  It would take a long time to get anything to eat and in the end, they all got pizza.  In order to prove to his friends how dangerous it was for him not to eat at a timely interval, he gave them a dose of insulin, which would lower all of their blood sugars so that they could experience the low.

His friends felt the side effects and as he claimed, now understood how important it was for him to eat at a regular interval.

For me, I found this highly foolish.  I realize that there is a huge age difference between this person and myself.  I would never do that to one of my friends, even if they asked.  It is highly unsafe, no matter whether my friend's system could handle it or not.  That is not the point.

I understand this young man's situation.  However, the difference is that it is my responsibility to make sure I have something with me or find something to eat when I need to eat.  I had a similar situation last weekend.  I have type 2 vs this person with type 1 diabetes.  My blood sugar has been high for the past week or two.  However, I know when I am starting to dip and it does not feel good.  Rather than run right into the nail salon, I went over to the deli and grabbed a sandwich.  Not a great choice, but one that I could manage quickly.

Either you start carrying snacks to hold you over when the situation deems it or get something to eat right at that point.  You have to take care of yourself and never depend on anyone to do it for you.  I appreciate those friends who take my disease into consideration, but in the end, I make the choices.  It is not up to my friends to live my life for me.  I try to help my vegetarian/vegan friends find places where they can eat the foods that they like, but I won't suggest what they should eat.  Lord knows, I hated it when people said "You can have a salad.  That has no carbs."  Yeah, think again.  

While I love what the admin for this page is trying to do, I am starting to contemplate staying on that page.  I won't be dramatic and make some huge statement.  I will just leave and move along.  She is a good person and just because a group of people act foolishly is not a reflection on her.  It is just sad that some people act like that.

My 30th High School Reunion...

I have started this entry, oh, I have no idea how many times.  Nothing ever seemed to flow just right.  I loved reading RandomCathy's blog entry regarding our high school reunion.  I must say, I am very glad she agreed to not only attend the reunion, but also share a room at the hotel with me.  I would love to take a trip down to NOLA with her to see the sights again, if she could stand my company.  I cannot wait to go back there for the food, drink, and sights.

Most of this year was spent putting in a lot of time and energy into making this reunion one to remember.  I feel that no one's time was wasted; it turned out to be spectacular as we had all hoped.  Those classmates that attended had a great time and I got nothing but wonderful remarks and thanks for putting in so much effort.  For me, I do not feel I did enough, but I tried to be there and do what I could.  Posting and trying to pull people together was not just me, but committee members trying to contact people who were not on Facebook.  So, I was not the lone wolf there - it was a group effort.

The venue was perfect and really nice.  The food was really good, but I spent more time talking to classmates than eating.  Isn't that the way it should be, though?

I really congratulate my crafty, innovated classmates for their decorating ideas.  The picture frame one committee member created was a HUGE hit.  It was a black frame with white sparkly letters indicating the high school and reunion and the numbers were in purple with a silver highlight around to make the numbers pop.  Perfection!  Classmates would hold the picture frame and stand behind it while someone else would take a picture.  Sort of like a picture of a picture.  Classic stuff.

The other really cute addition was the candy with a classmate's picture and name taped around the small bar.  I found classmates digging through to get their own candy to take with them.

The table settings were perfect.  Texas wildflowers sticking out of cowboy boots.  The cowboy boots sit on top of a shoe box with purple satin covering the box.  Small purple tea lights added the right ambiance.  Also, a new large banner with the mascot on it to represent our class reunion and future reunions was outstanding.

Of course, there was the candy bar - a table with all sorts of different kinds of candy.  Memorabilia table with various year books, past reunion pictures, t-shirts, old football jerseys, and etc.  I found a lot of classmates going through the past by reviewing the yearbooks.

Another committee member put together a memorial table for those classmates that were no longer with us.  It was tastefully done and brought a somber, reflective moment to my mind.  I know as the years go by, that list will grow.  It makes me sad to think about it, but that is life.

The committee members handling the emcee work were fabulous!  Great chemistry and made people laugh.  Then, again, watching both men crack jokes and be funny outside of this event is always great.

Overall, the reunion was a blast.  Classmates were able to reconnect and talk.  I think the major complaint was that there was not enough time, even with the "after party."  I tried to contact as many classmates that night, but did not get enough pictures.  I feel badly about it, but something I want to make sure I do during this time between reunions.  Should I run into any classmates, get my picture with them or get their picture.

The Friday before the reunion, Random Cathy and I met with two other committee members to get mani/pedis.  I was quite happy with the results and it helped me feel better about myself before heading for dinner with most of the committee at Reata.  The food was great and you definitely got enough food for the price!  After dinner, there was Jenga with everyone at a sports bar.  I think Random Cathy and I were up WAY past both of our bedtimes both nights, but I do not regret it.  I had a lot of fun!

If you are considering not attending your reunion, go.  As the years go by, you never know who may be crossing over to that next plane.  Try to stay in touch, especially with those you feel a close connection.  At this stage of our lives, it is becoming more important to know we are still there.

 

Taking Charge of My Life...

Now, it is the time to take life by the reins and pull.  Meaning - those activities that were put off to the side have now come to take precedence.  That is not a bad thing.  In fact, it is a well received welcomed breath of fresh air.

I won't worry any longer; just go with the flow.  

The class reunion is now in the books and was a huge success.  I was very happy that the event was so well received.  There were a few nagging issues that occurred, but you know, in the end, there is always some negativity.  I got a bit sucked into it.  Upon reflection, the proper way to handle it is to blow it off and move along.  People do not change unless they really want to change.  Snarky remarks would always be part of their persona and going to their level only makes you look as bad as they do.  The best thing to do is leave well enough alone and allow people to see that sort of thing as it is.

The committee spent a lot of time debating every aspect of the reunion.  In the end, it was all for making sure that the event was one that classmates would never forget.  For that, I am extremely proud.  I know they tell me I did a lot with trying to round up people, but I wish I were more crafty and innovative.  I am extremely humbled that those group of people wanted me as part of their team.  That meant a lot to me.  They could have asked someone else, but they asked me.  That was why I was always trying hard.  Trying hard to prove that I would answer the call when needed.

At this point, I am ready to get back on track with what I need to be doing to help me change the things I need to change.  I do not think the "Least Changed" award will help, but I did laugh at that.  :-)

We shall see how well I do...