Going back to work after vacation time is always interesting and very busy. A few things changed while I was out of the office and no one said anything. I really dislike being blindsided, but I just went with the flow. I was more upset with the guy who expected information delivered to him as soon as I was told what I needed to provide. I finally got a bit miffed and said "You just told me this is something you want, but you provided no time for me to gather the information. I just got back from vacation for heaven's sake."
On Tuesday, the day was a bit better. Random Cathy and I went to Sephora for make-overs. Well, actually, I wanted to understand how best to do "contouring." It was a lot of fun, but getting a make-over is always fun. It is interesting to see what the make-up artists can do with one's face - getting a different perspective. I will say that Random Cathy's make-over was fabulous and the lip stick color chosen for her was definitely spot on. It is funny how a color can really make a certain part of your face just pop. For Cathy, the color really made her white teeth pop and her smile more beautiful.
On Monday, I submitted my entry for Oral Fixation's Too Many Cooks show. Apparently, there were quite a few entries, so making decisions on what stories to choose was a more difficult task. In the end, I was not chosen.
I was sad about that. I won't say I worked really hard on the story because I did not. I just allowed what to flow out of me to flow. I did do some editing, but I did not slave over the piece as many probably did. Still, I was sad because it was a tribute to my mom. We never really had a memorial service or even the party that she wanted us to throw when she passed away. I felt that by telling a group of strangers what a truly remarkable woman she was, that would get me past some of the pain in my heart. Perhaps, this was not the time for that.
I made a realization last night that I hold a lot of anger inside with no way to release. I wondered why and determined it was because I was always taught that I was never to be angry. I was never allowed to be mad. Most of the time, I was told it was out of place or I had no right to be angry.
I wanted to lash out, yell, scream, and cry. I could not do any of those things. I watch others do it with no remorse, even when they are wrong and wonder "How?" Someone suggested to seek a professional's advice. I did that one time in my life and nutshell, why pay someone for that? Pay $120 per visit to have them ask me questions that I have no answer - that just makes me more angry. Perhaps, it was just the fact of all of the blindsided changes, reading an article about being crushless, not getting chosen for the show, or just the feeling of being on the outside, again.
Perhaps, this little crab crawls back into her shell to think about things for awhile. At least, it is safe in there and no one can hurt me.
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Coffee Kind of Day...
Decided that today was a "Coffee" kind of day. Just sounded really good after the past few days.
Yesterday, I went to see the endo for my 3 month check up. I had decided before going in that what is was what it is. I just was not going to worry about weight gain, blood sugar value rise, high blood pressure, cholesterol, triglycerides, and pretty much all of it.
What would be the point? I freak out over this crap and my blood pressure rises and I get pretty damn tired of hearing about my weight. I KNOW!!! However, one cannot do much when a person's back and knee are having physical issues. I can eat less, but even that is not working too well.
So, I gave it to God and let him handle it.
What happened? A1C was down by 0.4 points. Blood pressure was normal. Other blood measurements were good, except for the good cholesterol, which should be higher. In the end, they did not say much about my weight, but wanted to work on my morning blood sugar numbers, which are always high.
I get it - my liver generates sugar while I sleep. Apparently, that organ is pretty active when I am trying sleep. So, I go to bed with blood sugar at 134 and get up the next morning with blood sugar at 153. It is annoying, but that day, I did not want to eat anything after dinner, so that I had a good fast for the blood analysis. Go figure.
Endo and educator will put me on different insulin. It is one I have seen advertised in Diabetic Living, Prevention, and seen on TV commercials on TV Land network. It is called Toujeo. It is made by the same pharmacutical company that makes Lantus. This insulin is supposed to be better at being long lasting and hold down blood sugar spikes.
I have already signed up for the product savings card. Apparently, the co-pay is supposed to be $30. It will be interesting to see how that holds up during the time where I have to pay full price for medications before I meet my deductible. This year, I took the "Gold" level for medical coverage. It will cost more, but my deductible will be lower and it will be more 90/10.
I did submit a piece for Oral Fixation's next show, Too Many Cooks. Again, if I am not selected, it won't be a bad thing. I tried and that is where I will leave it.
Hoping that for the rest of the week, I can get some of the things I wanted to get done last week done. I feel so helpless. I get angry over not being able to do what I want due to physical restrictions. I just pray that my knee and back get better soon.
Yesterday, I went to see the endo for my 3 month check up. I had decided before going in that what is was what it is. I just was not going to worry about weight gain, blood sugar value rise, high blood pressure, cholesterol, triglycerides, and pretty much all of it.
What would be the point? I freak out over this crap and my blood pressure rises and I get pretty damn tired of hearing about my weight. I KNOW!!! However, one cannot do much when a person's back and knee are having physical issues. I can eat less, but even that is not working too well.
So, I gave it to God and let him handle it.
What happened? A1C was down by 0.4 points. Blood pressure was normal. Other blood measurements were good, except for the good cholesterol, which should be higher. In the end, they did not say much about my weight, but wanted to work on my morning blood sugar numbers, which are always high.
I get it - my liver generates sugar while I sleep. Apparently, that organ is pretty active when I am trying sleep. So, I go to bed with blood sugar at 134 and get up the next morning with blood sugar at 153. It is annoying, but that day, I did not want to eat anything after dinner, so that I had a good fast for the blood analysis. Go figure.
Endo and educator will put me on different insulin. It is one I have seen advertised in Diabetic Living, Prevention, and seen on TV commercials on TV Land network. It is called Toujeo. It is made by the same pharmacutical company that makes Lantus. This insulin is supposed to be better at being long lasting and hold down blood sugar spikes.
I have already signed up for the product savings card. Apparently, the co-pay is supposed to be $30. It will be interesting to see how that holds up during the time where I have to pay full price for medications before I meet my deductible. This year, I took the "Gold" level for medical coverage. It will cost more, but my deductible will be lower and it will be more 90/10.
I did submit a piece for Oral Fixation's next show, Too Many Cooks. Again, if I am not selected, it won't be a bad thing. I tried and that is where I will leave it.
Hoping that for the rest of the week, I can get some of the things I wanted to get done last week done. I feel so helpless. I get angry over not being able to do what I want due to physical restrictions. I just pray that my knee and back get better soon.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Upcoming Experiements...
With all of the garbage regarding my back and knee, it is time to shift focus on something a bit more positive. As an aside, I did go see the doctor today. I got a refill on a couple of meds, so we shall see how this fares with PT. If the situation is no better, someone is off to get an MRI and move forward.
So, I have decided to revert back to my teenage self and I delve into make-up again. Wednesday was the first time in months I had put any make-up on my face. I remembered how much fun I had making my face up for the Stars games and such. Due to hot weather and not feeling well, I had just let all of that lapse.
Well, Wednesday put a fire under my butt to try Charlotte Tilbury. I ordered a collection look from Nordstrom and it should arrive next week. I will try it out and give my review. Also, all this business with "contouring" has my curiosity. I saw a woman turn her face into something fabulous just by doing some contouring. I was checking out Sephora and they have classes on doing that, so I figure, why not?
As I went to get my meds in CVS, I was tempted to pick up some facial scrubs, but I thought better of it. I still have some Laura Mercier and such for facial needs. I need to work on how well that product line does on the wrinkles around my eyes and on my forehead. Next, Sugar lip products for reducing the lines on my upper lip.
This project may be quite interesting - especially where the facial products come into play because I already have them.
So, I am excited to start doing that at the beginning of next month.
Monday, I visit the endo. This three month period has been pretty challenging. I just need to try a bit harder, but I won't go in there talking about exercise. That just has not been happening due to the recent injuries. Once the knee and back are better, then, I will start back on getting the exercise. Believe me - I would prefer to be a bit more active.
I will work harder on eating healthier foods and such. Just have to remind myself not to be so difficult on myself when I take a bit of a tumble.
Tomorrow, I will work on my initial draft I wrote about a month ago. See if I make the cut again.
So, I have decided to revert back to my teenage self and I delve into make-up again. Wednesday was the first time in months I had put any make-up on my face. I remembered how much fun I had making my face up for the Stars games and such. Due to hot weather and not feeling well, I had just let all of that lapse.
Well, Wednesday put a fire under my butt to try Charlotte Tilbury. I ordered a collection look from Nordstrom and it should arrive next week. I will try it out and give my review. Also, all this business with "contouring" has my curiosity. I saw a woman turn her face into something fabulous just by doing some contouring. I was checking out Sephora and they have classes on doing that, so I figure, why not?
As I went to get my meds in CVS, I was tempted to pick up some facial scrubs, but I thought better of it. I still have some Laura Mercier and such for facial needs. I need to work on how well that product line does on the wrinkles around my eyes and on my forehead. Next, Sugar lip products for reducing the lines on my upper lip.
This project may be quite interesting - especially where the facial products come into play because I already have them.
So, I am excited to start doing that at the beginning of next month.
Monday, I visit the endo. This three month period has been pretty challenging. I just need to try a bit harder, but I won't go in there talking about exercise. That just has not been happening due to the recent injuries. Once the knee and back are better, then, I will start back on getting the exercise. Believe me - I would prefer to be a bit more active.
I will work harder on eating healthier foods and such. Just have to remind myself not to be so difficult on myself when I take a bit of a tumble.
Tomorrow, I will work on my initial draft I wrote about a month ago. See if I make the cut again.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Excursion Into New Areas...
Last night, I had the opportunity to see my friend, Random Cathy, tell her story of being "In the Doghouse". Oral Fixation is the name of the series where people write true stories about themselves, then tell those tales to an audience.
Last month, I remember when Cathy told me about going to see the show and how moved she was. She was also fired up to do her own and suggested that we do it together. The upcoming theme was "In the Doghouse." The subject could be taken quite literally, where those talked about adopting a dog. Or metaphorically speaking, such as, getting into trouble and the experience.
The piece I wrote and submitted did not pass the first cut. I figured it probably would not because I wrote about the various dogs in my life. You see - not just one dog affected and changed my life, but all of them changed me. With each animal that came into my life, I tried to learn how to be a better person - how not to think only of myself.
I was and still am okay with not having made the cut. After I submitted my entry, I thought about how cool it would be to do this with Cathy. Then, I started watching the presentations on YouTube.
Wow...
Powerful performances...
Then, I realized - I may have to expose part of myself that I am not ready to share with the entire world. "What ifs" kept hitting me - What if I offended someone close to me or was confronted with someone else's view on a situation? However, my story was more about the dogs and not myself. THAT was why I did not make the cut and I knew it.
Random Cathy's performance was amazing - as I told her it would be. Hell - everyone that told a story touched me. The stories about adopting dogs made me think of Bo and how I ended up with him. I totally got the internet dating aspect when finding a dog on the internet, but when I saw Bo, I knew I had to try to adopt him. My mom was not comfortable about my adopting a dog because deep down, she wanted me to have Chloe. Problem - I did not have a house with a fenced-in yard and doggie door, so I could not have Chloe.
In the end, I got Chloe because my mother trusted me with her over anyone else. She knew I loved Chloe and would do what was best.
The gentleman who got into hot water over simply not thinking about his wife's needs was hilarious. I felt for him, but in the end, his life returned to normal as he learned a valuable lesson. The storyteller describing how he got into trouble over a friend and his kind of comedy humor was hilarious. I remember my mother allowing me to listen to Richard Pryor, Steve Martin, George Carlin, and others when I was 12 years old. She was not really fond of the swearing, but humor was humor and when it was funny, we all needed a good laugh. Probably why I wore out the Justin Wilson album we had when I was young girl. Clean Cajun comedy.
In the middle of all of the lighthearted reflections, a brutal story of how selfishness and chasing the wrong things in life landed this man to be kidnapped by a Mexican drug cartel. It was truly an amazing story of how he hit rock bottom and turned his life around once his family rescued him. I met this gentleman and his wife after the show - what an amazing couple and person.
Lastly, the one story that truly had me rolling - bagels and yogurt. A lesson regarding bullying with a religious slant. The bottom line - it really had nothing to do with religion, but just the stupidity of how an older adult's opinion influenced poor behavior in students. It was funny, yet poignant.
After the show, Random Cathy asked me if I would still submit a story. I have one written for the upcoming show, but I am not so sure if it is the right direction to take. Sitting here, I have thought of another way to go with the tale. I have between now and Monday to get something written or rewritten. Let you know what I do...
Last month, I remember when Cathy told me about going to see the show and how moved she was. She was also fired up to do her own and suggested that we do it together. The upcoming theme was "In the Doghouse." The subject could be taken quite literally, where those talked about adopting a dog. Or metaphorically speaking, such as, getting into trouble and the experience.
The piece I wrote and submitted did not pass the first cut. I figured it probably would not because I wrote about the various dogs in my life. You see - not just one dog affected and changed my life, but all of them changed me. With each animal that came into my life, I tried to learn how to be a better person - how not to think only of myself.
I was and still am okay with not having made the cut. After I submitted my entry, I thought about how cool it would be to do this with Cathy. Then, I started watching the presentations on YouTube.
Wow...
Powerful performances...
Then, I realized - I may have to expose part of myself that I am not ready to share with the entire world. "What ifs" kept hitting me - What if I offended someone close to me or was confronted with someone else's view on a situation? However, my story was more about the dogs and not myself. THAT was why I did not make the cut and I knew it.
Random Cathy's performance was amazing - as I told her it would be. Hell - everyone that told a story touched me. The stories about adopting dogs made me think of Bo and how I ended up with him. I totally got the internet dating aspect when finding a dog on the internet, but when I saw Bo, I knew I had to try to adopt him. My mom was not comfortable about my adopting a dog because deep down, she wanted me to have Chloe. Problem - I did not have a house with a fenced-in yard and doggie door, so I could not have Chloe.
In the end, I got Chloe because my mother trusted me with her over anyone else. She knew I loved Chloe and would do what was best.
The gentleman who got into hot water over simply not thinking about his wife's needs was hilarious. I felt for him, but in the end, his life returned to normal as he learned a valuable lesson. The storyteller describing how he got into trouble over a friend and his kind of comedy humor was hilarious. I remember my mother allowing me to listen to Richard Pryor, Steve Martin, George Carlin, and others when I was 12 years old. She was not really fond of the swearing, but humor was humor and when it was funny, we all needed a good laugh. Probably why I wore out the Justin Wilson album we had when I was young girl. Clean Cajun comedy.
In the middle of all of the lighthearted reflections, a brutal story of how selfishness and chasing the wrong things in life landed this man to be kidnapped by a Mexican drug cartel. It was truly an amazing story of how he hit rock bottom and turned his life around once his family rescued him. I met this gentleman and his wife after the show - what an amazing couple and person.
Lastly, the one story that truly had me rolling - bagels and yogurt. A lesson regarding bullying with a religious slant. The bottom line - it really had nothing to do with religion, but just the stupidity of how an older adult's opinion influenced poor behavior in students. It was funny, yet poignant.
After the show, Random Cathy asked me if I would still submit a story. I have one written for the upcoming show, but I am not so sure if it is the right direction to take. Sitting here, I have thought of another way to go with the tale. I have between now and Monday to get something written or rewritten. Let you know what I do...
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Getting Some Things Done...
I took a week and half off from work. Mainly because I need to burn my vacation time before I lose it at the end of the year. Also, I had wanted to get a lot of stuff done. Unfortunately, my back and knee are interfering with my goals.
I have managed to whittle down the plastic ware that needs to be cleaned. Now, I need to figure out where to stash it. I am also working on my laundry issues. I just wish my knee and back would cooperate. It would make getting these chores done much easier.
I feel awful for having to sit down and rest every so often, but the pain can be so great that I have to just get that little bit of rest to encourage myself to move forward.
One thing I have been doing is working on backing up my various systems. What I like to do is get one huge snapshot of my system, then have delta backups created each night while I sleep. This way, any files that have changed are getting backed up each day.
I have ideas of setting up my own server and getting SVN (Subversion - code control software) set up and work on using that to save my homework projects and such. This way, I get more practice on how to manage it. Also, I want to set up my own web site. I noticed today, I am still getting charged yearly for a web site and email address for Yahoo. I feel I can change that.
In order to get all of this done, I need to purchase faster system parts, so that will take some time. In the meantime, I really need to work on my "office" in the apartment. It should be the place where I do a lot of my creative stuff. My hope is to clear out a lot of the clutter around here. I would like to get a server set up to run a lot of stuff and help me with learning and getting better at things I do at work. Maybe even encourage me to get back to work.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Why Am I Looking?
One of my wish list items is to be able to buy a house. When I was in Van Alstyne last weekend, I thought, "Wow - this would be a nice place to live." It reminds me of when I lived in Crowley - there was hardly anything in the area.
I found a house on-line, but I cannot afford it and it is a compromise of what I really want. I know most people would think I am crazy for wanting a 4 bedroom house. My deal is that I want into a house and I will never move again. I want it to be "just right." Besides, I cannot even see why the house is worth that much.
One thing I keep reminding myself is that the pictures do not show the whole story. Considering I am older than most first time home buyers, I want to get a newer home, in order to keep some of the guarantees. I would love to get a brand new home, but unless something changes for the positive, I cannot afford that.
Buying a house is such a huge investment. However, the gains are so worth it: The dogs have a yard, some place where I can really call home, no more rising rent payments, and just the stability. I will say, getting a place with a yard for the dogs is foremost. As you can tell, I have put them before myself, again.
It is one of the things I have also wondered. I travel to Arlington, TX for Chloe's medical care. I move to Van Alstyne and it is just that much further to drive. If I could work from home all of the time, living there may not be so bad, but my friends probably would not want to travel up there to see me. On the other hand, my gambling friends might take advantage of that to stay overnight to go to Choctaw.
I was looking in Prosper and Little Elm, but it is so hard. I know the first thing is to get the whole financial picture in order. Everything takes money. I just need to sit down and think all of this through with someone.
I found a house on-line, but I cannot afford it and it is a compromise of what I really want. I know most people would think I am crazy for wanting a 4 bedroom house. My deal is that I want into a house and I will never move again. I want it to be "just right." Besides, I cannot even see why the house is worth that much.
One thing I keep reminding myself is that the pictures do not show the whole story. Considering I am older than most first time home buyers, I want to get a newer home, in order to keep some of the guarantees. I would love to get a brand new home, but unless something changes for the positive, I cannot afford that.
Buying a house is such a huge investment. However, the gains are so worth it: The dogs have a yard, some place where I can really call home, no more rising rent payments, and just the stability. I will say, getting a place with a yard for the dogs is foremost. As you can tell, I have put them before myself, again.
It is one of the things I have also wondered. I travel to Arlington, TX for Chloe's medical care. I move to Van Alstyne and it is just that much further to drive. If I could work from home all of the time, living there may not be so bad, but my friends probably would not want to travel up there to see me. On the other hand, my gambling friends might take advantage of that to stay overnight to go to Choctaw.
I was looking in Prosper and Little Elm, but it is so hard. I know the first thing is to get the whole financial picture in order. Everything takes money. I just need to sit down and think all of this through with someone.
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Why I Have Issues with Religion, But Not God...
I saw this yesterday and more information on the situation today:
http://news.yahoo.com/court-date-friday-6-charged-ny-church-beating-052707835.html#
I was appalled. A 19-year old wanted to leave the church and the parents along with the congregation beat the poor kid to death. The pastor just stood there while this took place for 12 hours in the church.
I beg of you - What in the hell?!
In this country of "freedom of choice", we proved day and out that some of us are no better than those in other countries. The problem in my opinion is just the idea of religion. Every religion is based upon a book - the Bible, Quoran, or others. It does not matter what religion - it all revolves around a book that contains the stories provided in the past. Religion is simply a group of people who agree upon the same interpretation. Some are strict and others more loose with interpretation.
It is always "Good vs Evil". While these people believe that they were doing good, I only see evil. Beating someone who wishes not to be part of a particular religion is beyond my own logic. It makes no sense. It makes those people no better than the ISIS terrorists in the other parts of the world.
Is this what God truly intended? I would like to think not. Then, again, I evaluate all that goes on in this world and wonder "Why?"
I can understand why a good many people are not really atheists, but agnostic. You get a group of people together with a particular belief and they can go absolutely nuts. There is no other way to really put it. This is just insane. To make matters worse, those same people will claim that they did their deeds in the name of God.
Someone told me that in Iceland, if someone commits murder, the person is sent to a mental institution. The reasoning is that in order to kill someone, you must be mentally insane. No one with any compassion or reason would do that. I actually have to agree with that.
If you find yourself condemning the atrocities in the Middle East, make sure that what you are doing here is not equal to that. Otherwise, you are just as wrong as they are.
http://news.yahoo.com/court-date-friday-6-charged-ny-church-beating-052707835.html#
I was appalled. A 19-year old wanted to leave the church and the parents along with the congregation beat the poor kid to death. The pastor just stood there while this took place for 12 hours in the church.
I beg of you - What in the hell?!
In this country of "freedom of choice", we proved day and out that some of us are no better than those in other countries. The problem in my opinion is just the idea of religion. Every religion is based upon a book - the Bible, Quoran, or others. It does not matter what religion - it all revolves around a book that contains the stories provided in the past. Religion is simply a group of people who agree upon the same interpretation. Some are strict and others more loose with interpretation.
It is always "Good vs Evil". While these people believe that they were doing good, I only see evil. Beating someone who wishes not to be part of a particular religion is beyond my own logic. It makes no sense. It makes those people no better than the ISIS terrorists in the other parts of the world.
Is this what God truly intended? I would like to think not. Then, again, I evaluate all that goes on in this world and wonder "Why?"
I can understand why a good many people are not really atheists, but agnostic. You get a group of people together with a particular belief and they can go absolutely nuts. There is no other way to really put it. This is just insane. To make matters worse, those same people will claim that they did their deeds in the name of God.
Someone told me that in Iceland, if someone commits murder, the person is sent to a mental institution. The reasoning is that in order to kill someone, you must be mentally insane. No one with any compassion or reason would do that. I actually have to agree with that.
If you find yourself condemning the atrocities in the Middle East, make sure that what you are doing here is not equal to that. Otherwise, you are just as wrong as they are.
Despise Infomercials...
Everyone is looking for a quick fix or something that is the "sure thing." I really despise the "infomercial" industry. While checking on the health status of Lamar Odom, (granted, not fond of how he acted while being a Dallas Maverick, I hate to see someone fall so hard and my hope was that he would wake and turn his life around - we will see) I saw something about telling people about the 5 foods one should not eat.
I figured, let's see. Rather than be upfront with the information, I have to sit through sales pitch lure after sales pitch lure. When that happens, I simply turn it off. If one is not able to get to the point within 2 minutes, I no longer care. You are simply wasting my time.
There was a time when I used to stay up at night and watched infomercials. In the 90's, there was one for a make-up company. I joined to get the package. I tried it at the wrong time, unfortunately - right before a job interview at the university. I looked all pastie and nasty. I could not wait to remove all of the make up, but I do not blame that for my not getting the job. However, I did end up tossing the whole lot. It just did not work for me.
Since that time, I hold very little weight on products like that. I think the only time I have seen Cutco knives on TV would be on QVC or some product selling show like that. My mom had the knives before they were even sold on TV, so I know the product line well. Great, but very expensive knives. However, they come with a lifetime guarantee - no charge sharpening (they will come out to your house), if a knife is damaged, send it back and get another one for free, dishwasher safe, and so forth. In all seriousness, the best damn knives ever.
I do try a lot of different products. As of late, I have been rather lax on being consistent on that aspect. I had bought some Laura Mercier facial products to reduce wrinkles and such, but have not been consistent on wearing it. I blame the Texas heat - I will end up melting off any creams and what have you during the summer. Not pretty.
I will probably look at what I have and throw out what has expired at this point. I have a very bad tendency to take on too much and overwhelm myself. I am trying to be better about that. Also, I am trying to curb my shopping tendencies. A friend of mine pointed out that my going back to a handbag she liked was a great idea. I explained that I tried getting new purses, but they just were not working out for me. My best friend got about three that I bought, but in the end, they just did not work out for me. She loves them, so someone is getting good use out of the purses.
So, for those of you wondering which 90's infomercial I fell for - Victoria Jackson. Oddly enough, she is still selling that stuff on the internet. I won't be doing that, but YouTube has those old 90's infomericals out there to watch. LOL
I figured, let's see. Rather than be upfront with the information, I have to sit through sales pitch lure after sales pitch lure. When that happens, I simply turn it off. If one is not able to get to the point within 2 minutes, I no longer care. You are simply wasting my time.
There was a time when I used to stay up at night and watched infomercials. In the 90's, there was one for a make-up company. I joined to get the package. I tried it at the wrong time, unfortunately - right before a job interview at the university. I looked all pastie and nasty. I could not wait to remove all of the make up, but I do not blame that for my not getting the job. However, I did end up tossing the whole lot. It just did not work for me.
Since that time, I hold very little weight on products like that. I think the only time I have seen Cutco knives on TV would be on QVC or some product selling show like that. My mom had the knives before they were even sold on TV, so I know the product line well. Great, but very expensive knives. However, they come with a lifetime guarantee - no charge sharpening (they will come out to your house), if a knife is damaged, send it back and get another one for free, dishwasher safe, and so forth. In all seriousness, the best damn knives ever.
I do try a lot of different products. As of late, I have been rather lax on being consistent on that aspect. I had bought some Laura Mercier facial products to reduce wrinkles and such, but have not been consistent on wearing it. I blame the Texas heat - I will end up melting off any creams and what have you during the summer. Not pretty.
I will probably look at what I have and throw out what has expired at this point. I have a very bad tendency to take on too much and overwhelm myself. I am trying to be better about that. Also, I am trying to curb my shopping tendencies. A friend of mine pointed out that my going back to a handbag she liked was a great idea. I explained that I tried getting new purses, but they just were not working out for me. My best friend got about three that I bought, but in the end, they just did not work out for me. She loves them, so someone is getting good use out of the purses.
So, for those of you wondering which 90's infomercial I fell for - Victoria Jackson. Oddly enough, she is still selling that stuff on the internet. I won't be doing that, but YouTube has those old 90's infomericals out there to watch. LOL
Friday, October 16, 2015
Hitting Rock Bottom...
Everyone has their breaking point. I think I am reaching mine. The past couple of weeks, I have been so frustrated with my weight, pain associated with my back and knee, then just general anger on why happened and why?
As I sit here, I do not want to eat anything. Mainly, that is due to whatever stomach bug I may have. Nothing like chancing eating something that will cause another marathon run to the bathroom. However, I cannot think of anything that would taste good or would keep the dogs from giving me crap to hand over stuff to them.
I tried eating a salad yesterday, but it only grossed me out. The tomatoes were already turning and the salad dressing was tasting pretty gross. The two grocery stores in my vicinity cannot keep decent produce. I will have to return to visiting Sprouts to get some good produce.
If I can get past this stomach bug, I hope that I can make it over to Sprouts to get some fresh vegetables. I feel so sluggish, so maybe the best thing for me is to get some fresh fruit and veggies. Perhaps, even get the lettuce for making my own salad mix. Seems that when I did that, my salads lasted longer and the lettuces stayed fresh and crispy.
However, as I look at this huge tire around my mid-section, all I can think about is: How can I get this smaller? How can I start feeling better about myself? What can I do in my current situation that will help me lose weight?
I do not want to do the stupid shakes. I just want to eat properly and figure out what I can do to get more activity into my routine. I do not want to live the rest of my life like this. I mean, I cannot ever see myself being *thin*, but if I could get down to 200 lbs, I would be more comfortable. I know that sounds crazy, but honestly, I can never see myself being really thin, but I just want to be healthy. Maybe 200 is not healthy, but it is sight better than where I am now.
Perhaps, I will spend time looking at what I can do to get more activity into my routine. I will work hard on portion sizing. More importantly, I need to hold myself more accountable and I have not been doing that.
As I sit here, I do not want to eat anything. Mainly, that is due to whatever stomach bug I may have. Nothing like chancing eating something that will cause another marathon run to the bathroom. However, I cannot think of anything that would taste good or would keep the dogs from giving me crap to hand over stuff to them.
I tried eating a salad yesterday, but it only grossed me out. The tomatoes were already turning and the salad dressing was tasting pretty gross. The two grocery stores in my vicinity cannot keep decent produce. I will have to return to visiting Sprouts to get some good produce.
If I can get past this stomach bug, I hope that I can make it over to Sprouts to get some fresh vegetables. I feel so sluggish, so maybe the best thing for me is to get some fresh fruit and veggies. Perhaps, even get the lettuce for making my own salad mix. Seems that when I did that, my salads lasted longer and the lettuces stayed fresh and crispy.
However, as I look at this huge tire around my mid-section, all I can think about is: How can I get this smaller? How can I start feeling better about myself? What can I do in my current situation that will help me lose weight?
I do not want to do the stupid shakes. I just want to eat properly and figure out what I can do to get more activity into my routine. I do not want to live the rest of my life like this. I mean, I cannot ever see myself being *thin*, but if I could get down to 200 lbs, I would be more comfortable. I know that sounds crazy, but honestly, I can never see myself being really thin, but I just want to be healthy. Maybe 200 is not healthy, but it is sight better than where I am now.
Perhaps, I will spend time looking at what I can do to get more activity into my routine. I will work hard on portion sizing. More importantly, I need to hold myself more accountable and I have not been doing that.
Illness and Chronic Pain...
Apparently, I have picked up some sort of stomach bug. I was not feeling really well yesterday morning, but around 3 PM, I was really not feeling well for several hours. I did not feel comfortable going anywhere - the best place was to stay in bed because I was closer to the bathroom.
You never know when these things will hit or even why. I think that is the part that bothers me the most - why? What caused this? How could I better protect myself? Bottom line, it just happens and you have to let the virus run its course. Unfortunately, that really bothers me because it only brings me down. I realize I had scheduled yesterday to be a rest day, but I had not envisioned having to deal with this.
My back and knee are still smarting over my recent activities. I made the right decision not to see one of my favorite bands, Garbage. A friend went to the show and I posted I would be there, but I knew my back would not have handled standing room only. Response was that I should wear cushy shoes.
That is basically all I do wear. I shook my head. It is okay, but I get those memes about how people do not understand the pain you cannot see. No one can see the pain, let alone feel it. I think you do not get it until you have gone through it. I know when I was a child I never understood why my mom was always so sick. You cannot see it or feel it, so everything looks normal. The reality is - it is not normal.
Maybe, later today, my system will return to normal and my back pain and such would be better. I know I have gotten several suggestions on what I should do about the back and knee. I am going to the doctor and I was doing PT. I need to head back to PT, but if I can relapse on the pain, maybe PT is not working.
I really do not know. I just know that the whole situation is depressing me. I try to stay positive outside of the apartment, but when I am alone, things seem to deteriorate. However, I keep trudging along because there has to be a time where it will get better. I just have to have faith.
You never know when these things will hit or even why. I think that is the part that bothers me the most - why? What caused this? How could I better protect myself? Bottom line, it just happens and you have to let the virus run its course. Unfortunately, that really bothers me because it only brings me down. I realize I had scheduled yesterday to be a rest day, but I had not envisioned having to deal with this.
My back and knee are still smarting over my recent activities. I made the right decision not to see one of my favorite bands, Garbage. A friend went to the show and I posted I would be there, but I knew my back would not have handled standing room only. Response was that I should wear cushy shoes.
That is basically all I do wear. I shook my head. It is okay, but I get those memes about how people do not understand the pain you cannot see. No one can see the pain, let alone feel it. I think you do not get it until you have gone through it. I know when I was a child I never understood why my mom was always so sick. You cannot see it or feel it, so everything looks normal. The reality is - it is not normal.
Maybe, later today, my system will return to normal and my back pain and such would be better. I know I have gotten several suggestions on what I should do about the back and knee. I am going to the doctor and I was doing PT. I need to head back to PT, but if I can relapse on the pain, maybe PT is not working.
I really do not know. I just know that the whole situation is depressing me. I try to stay positive outside of the apartment, but when I am alone, things seem to deteriorate. However, I keep trudging along because there has to be a time where it will get better. I just have to have faith.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Time for Myself...
Sounds pretty selfish - taking time off for yourself. However, I desperately needed to take some time off from work and attend to things I have been needing to do for quite some time. Besides that, I have a load of vacation time I need to take before it is all taken away from me.
Yesterday, I spent the day at the State Fair of Texas with my friend, Arnold. I had a blast, but the unfortunate piece, my back was really throwing me into many slow down fits. I felt awful, but Arnold was pretty patient. I greatly appreciated that.
I had not been to the fair since 2013 and my original plan was to try a few of the specialties at the fair, play some games (in hope of gaining some toys for the dogs and just overall entertainment), then head home. I mentioned to Arnold I was going to the fair and he wanted to join.
I tried to be intelligent about this whole fair business. When I went in 2013, I paid $17.50 to get in to the fair. My first time to the fair, 1997, I brought 4 cans of food and got in for free. I checked out the State Fair web site and found that Wednesdays were for the North Texas Food Bank - bring 4 cans of food and get into the fair for $4. Could not beat that! Well, I guess you could, if you were a senior citizen, but seniors got into the fair for free on Thursdays and that was not going to work for us.
Arnold and I walked around and looked at some of the exhibits. I ended up getting a second level butcher knife block with an icing spatula. Arnold was won over with the knives being dishwasher safe, so he got a set. He also set up an appointment to talk about window replacements and won $500 off the price.
We both got a corn dog, some salt water taffy, and shared Jack's Fries, funnel cake, and this year's specialty, Holy Moley Deep Fried Carrot cake. I brought home some roasted nuts, candied apple, caramel apple, and cotton candy. Oddly enough, I have not dived into any of those items at this time. I am just happy to have them. I also bought the dogs a couple of toys - I could not go to the fair and not bring back something to the dogs.
Going to and from the fair, Arnold and I rode the train. Interestingly enough, we only had to wait at the most 5 minutes for the trains to arrive to take us to our destination. I honestly love riding the DART when I can. It simply makes the trip that much easier.
The dark cloud over this is that I did not realize that the area where we parked was only for 4 hours between 5 AM and 5 PM. Arnold got a ticket and I felt horrible for that. I have said that I would pay for the ticket since it was me that suggested we park there. I just did not want to have to pay for parking, then pay for having to ride the train down to the fair.
However, overall, it was a lot of fun going to the fair. Arnold may not go again for awhile, but I think I will try to plan a day off every year just to go to the fair during the day. I have to admit, it was so much easier to head over to the fair during the day in the middle of the week. I have seen the DART trains overloaded with people heading to the fair at night and especially on the weekends. Let's not even talk about the Texas/OU game! I went the day of that game in 2013 - tons of people.
Even though there is a parking ticket involved, I managed to keep the spending down - outside of the butcher block. That piece was something I probably would have done sooner or later. Overall, I was pretty happy with how I managed going to the fair.
My back and knee gave me fits all evening and night after the trip to the fair. I was pretty exhausted and the dogs were not happy with me for leaving them all day. I keep telling them that it was way too hot for little doggies - it had gotten up to 97 degrees (whatever happened to the beautiful cooler weather at the beginning of this month?).
Having thought that this may be an issue before yesterday, I had marked today as a day to just lie in bed and catch up on rest. Furthermore, just relax and unwind. I also put my ticket to see Garbage up for sale. I made the fatal mistake of getting the ticket because I love the band and wanted to see them. However, the Southside Ballroom has no seats - standing room only. I know my back would not have tolerated that another day.
I hate not getting to see Garbage, but upon reflection, it was the best decision to make. I have been icing my back and knee off and on today.
To compound matters, my system is off today. Not sure what it was that I ate or did not eat - I was so tired last night that I did not have dinner and missed getting anything for breakfast for today. However, around 3 PM, I could not be too far away from the bathroom. I just pray that whatever was in my system has left and will remain gone. I hate it when that happens because I never know exactly what caused it. I mean, it is easier when you have had something to eat and you know - Oh, yes! That messed me up pretty bad - so you do not eat that or are very suspicious.
The rest of the time, I am going to spend working on the apartment. I want to clear the clutter and start feeling better about myself.
Yesterday, I spent the day at the State Fair of Texas with my friend, Arnold. I had a blast, but the unfortunate piece, my back was really throwing me into many slow down fits. I felt awful, but Arnold was pretty patient. I greatly appreciated that.
I had not been to the fair since 2013 and my original plan was to try a few of the specialties at the fair, play some games (in hope of gaining some toys for the dogs and just overall entertainment), then head home. I mentioned to Arnold I was going to the fair and he wanted to join.
I tried to be intelligent about this whole fair business. When I went in 2013, I paid $17.50 to get in to the fair. My first time to the fair, 1997, I brought 4 cans of food and got in for free. I checked out the State Fair web site and found that Wednesdays were for the North Texas Food Bank - bring 4 cans of food and get into the fair for $4. Could not beat that! Well, I guess you could, if you were a senior citizen, but seniors got into the fair for free on Thursdays and that was not going to work for us.
Arnold and I walked around and looked at some of the exhibits. I ended up getting a second level butcher knife block with an icing spatula. Arnold was won over with the knives being dishwasher safe, so he got a set. He also set up an appointment to talk about window replacements and won $500 off the price.
We both got a corn dog, some salt water taffy, and shared Jack's Fries, funnel cake, and this year's specialty, Holy Moley Deep Fried Carrot cake. I brought home some roasted nuts, candied apple, caramel apple, and cotton candy. Oddly enough, I have not dived into any of those items at this time. I am just happy to have them. I also bought the dogs a couple of toys - I could not go to the fair and not bring back something to the dogs.
Going to and from the fair, Arnold and I rode the train. Interestingly enough, we only had to wait at the most 5 minutes for the trains to arrive to take us to our destination. I honestly love riding the DART when I can. It simply makes the trip that much easier.
The dark cloud over this is that I did not realize that the area where we parked was only for 4 hours between 5 AM and 5 PM. Arnold got a ticket and I felt horrible for that. I have said that I would pay for the ticket since it was me that suggested we park there. I just did not want to have to pay for parking, then pay for having to ride the train down to the fair.
However, overall, it was a lot of fun going to the fair. Arnold may not go again for awhile, but I think I will try to plan a day off every year just to go to the fair during the day. I have to admit, it was so much easier to head over to the fair during the day in the middle of the week. I have seen the DART trains overloaded with people heading to the fair at night and especially on the weekends. Let's not even talk about the Texas/OU game! I went the day of that game in 2013 - tons of people.
Even though there is a parking ticket involved, I managed to keep the spending down - outside of the butcher block. That piece was something I probably would have done sooner or later. Overall, I was pretty happy with how I managed going to the fair.
My back and knee gave me fits all evening and night after the trip to the fair. I was pretty exhausted and the dogs were not happy with me for leaving them all day. I keep telling them that it was way too hot for little doggies - it had gotten up to 97 degrees (whatever happened to the beautiful cooler weather at the beginning of this month?).
Having thought that this may be an issue before yesterday, I had marked today as a day to just lie in bed and catch up on rest. Furthermore, just relax and unwind. I also put my ticket to see Garbage up for sale. I made the fatal mistake of getting the ticket because I love the band and wanted to see them. However, the Southside Ballroom has no seats - standing room only. I know my back would not have tolerated that another day.
I hate not getting to see Garbage, but upon reflection, it was the best decision to make. I have been icing my back and knee off and on today.
To compound matters, my system is off today. Not sure what it was that I ate or did not eat - I was so tired last night that I did not have dinner and missed getting anything for breakfast for today. However, around 3 PM, I could not be too far away from the bathroom. I just pray that whatever was in my system has left and will remain gone. I hate it when that happens because I never know exactly what caused it. I mean, it is easier when you have had something to eat and you know - Oh, yes! That messed me up pretty bad - so you do not eat that or are very suspicious.
The rest of the time, I am going to spend working on the apartment. I want to clear the clutter and start feeling better about myself.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Yay! Hockey Season Begins!
Today is completely a total sports day for me. This afternoon, I will watch the Texas Rangers play against the Toronto Blue Jays. Tonight, watch the Dallas Stars play the Pittsburg Penguins - HOCKEY SEASON IS BACK!!!!
This is the true sign of cooler weather to me. I am a bit sad that I won't be at the arena this year for opening day. However, I remind myself that I am making the right decision. I can enjoy watching the game at home, on my sofa with the dog pack. Still, there was always something so exciting about getting on DART and riding to the arena, walking around the concourse to get my steps, then heading to my seat to enjoy a fast-paced game of hockey.
I do not have one favorite player and I feel that is good. I love the whole team. Granted, there may be some skeletons in the closet for some of those players, but from my view, I could not be prouder of a great group of men. When I saw how wonderful the team was with the kids and down to earth each member was to a fan, it was humbling for me. I thought - Wow - these guys are pretty great at what they do and no prima donnas. That was amazing.
I used to dislike Ovechkin on the Washington team. Then, when he went on a date with a special needs teenager, then remained her friend, I was taken back. Someone who was so full of himself was showing a kinder side. In fact, I thought maybe he was a bit pompous during the all-star game wanting to be last to be picked, so he could get the new car. When I found out it was to be a donation for the charity for the girl, I was pretty impressed. He was doing what he could to help those people.
So, this year, I won't have season tickets, but I do plan to attend a few games this season. I love hockey and nothing is more fun than attending a game. I will miss the familiarity I had with everyone around me, but I will still enjoy the game.
Hoping to see the Stars make the playoffs this year - they can do it!
This is the true sign of cooler weather to me. I am a bit sad that I won't be at the arena this year for opening day. However, I remind myself that I am making the right decision. I can enjoy watching the game at home, on my sofa with the dog pack. Still, there was always something so exciting about getting on DART and riding to the arena, walking around the concourse to get my steps, then heading to my seat to enjoy a fast-paced game of hockey.
I do not have one favorite player and I feel that is good. I love the whole team. Granted, there may be some skeletons in the closet for some of those players, but from my view, I could not be prouder of a great group of men. When I saw how wonderful the team was with the kids and down to earth each member was to a fan, it was humbling for me. I thought - Wow - these guys are pretty great at what they do and no prima donnas. That was amazing.
I used to dislike Ovechkin on the Washington team. Then, when he went on a date with a special needs teenager, then remained her friend, I was taken back. Someone who was so full of himself was showing a kinder side. In fact, I thought maybe he was a bit pompous during the all-star game wanting to be last to be picked, so he could get the new car. When I found out it was to be a donation for the charity for the girl, I was pretty impressed. He was doing what he could to help those people.
So, this year, I won't have season tickets, but I do plan to attend a few games this season. I love hockey and nothing is more fun than attending a game. I will miss the familiarity I had with everyone around me, but I will still enjoy the game.
Hoping to see the Stars make the playoffs this year - they can do it!
Friday, October 2, 2015
Interesting Food Thought...
So much is said about avoiding eating "white" foods, such as rice, bread, flour, and etc. You should eat "brown" foods such as brown rice, whole wheat bread, whole wheat flour, and etc as the replacements. I really have no issue with that and do not mind it. However, something interesting came to my mind this morning.
I had been getting salads and such from one of those deli places where they make their own bread. There was a multi-grain bread there that was "brown" and contained 15 different kinds of seeds. Believe me, I thought - Wow - this stuff is the bomb! It tasted great!
The unfortunate part - that bread spiked my blood sugar beyond belief. I was shocked. I ended up having to give the rest of the loaf to a friend, whose family enjoyed it as much as I had.
Usually, I eat Sara Lee's 45 and Delightful multigrain bread. It has proven its worth for me. Ninety calories for 2 slices and my blood sugar hardly spikes. So, what is the deal?
The more I thought about it, the ingredients that are added to the bread can cause the "brown"-ing. Meaning, if the bread is made with dark corn syrup or brown sugar, it will be a "brown" bread. How misleading if you are not careful. More unfortunate, the bread contained no nutritional information on it, so I had no idea of what the ingredients were or even the carb count.
My takeaway - just because it says "Multi-Grain" or "Whole Wheat", businesses use those buzz words to attract people into thinking they are getting a healthy product. You always have to be on your toes!
I had been getting salads and such from one of those deli places where they make their own bread. There was a multi-grain bread there that was "brown" and contained 15 different kinds of seeds. Believe me, I thought - Wow - this stuff is the bomb! It tasted great!
The unfortunate part - that bread spiked my blood sugar beyond belief. I was shocked. I ended up having to give the rest of the loaf to a friend, whose family enjoyed it as much as I had.
Usually, I eat Sara Lee's 45 and Delightful multigrain bread. It has proven its worth for me. Ninety calories for 2 slices and my blood sugar hardly spikes. So, what is the deal?
The more I thought about it, the ingredients that are added to the bread can cause the "brown"-ing. Meaning, if the bread is made with dark corn syrup or brown sugar, it will be a "brown" bread. How misleading if you are not careful. More unfortunate, the bread contained no nutritional information on it, so I had no idea of what the ingredients were or even the carb count.
My takeaway - just because it says "Multi-Grain" or "Whole Wheat", businesses use those buzz words to attract people into thinking they are getting a healthy product. You always have to be on your toes!
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