Seems like I tend to live in chaos every day. The only real structure is getting up, tending to the dogs' needs, going to work, coming home to tend to the dogs' needs, cook/get dinner, then bed. By the time I get home at night, I am so worn out that even now, I no longer want to work/play on the computer. I have movies/games that I haven't even taken out of the shrink wrap.
The whole thing disgusts me to no end. I know it is an unhealthy way to live because it is the constant stress. Now, I love my dogs - more than anything in life. They bring me such joy, but can also be a real hassle. That is why I tend to compare them to children. Most people will tell you how much joy their children bring to them, but there is always that "dark side" they never tell single people.
My plan for this past week and half from work was to "clean." Due to issues out of my own control, I spent a good deal of time "working", rather than "cleaning." I need to sort out how to address those work issues and make sure that this never happens again.
I did make it a point to make sure to get as much laundry done as I possibly could. Right now, I have loads and loads of laundry folded on my dining room table and in various small plastic baskets. Today, I plan on putting away that laundry. I also plan on cleaning up my two bathrooms, utility room, and kitchen. I will leave the living room, "office area", and my bedroom for this coming weekend.
More importantly, I need to design a schedule that will get me into making sure the place stays clean. I know I let a lot of stuff go when my mother became ill and needed someone to help take care of her and the house. Also, I put myself into a deep depression when she passed away. It is difficult to conceive how much one can miss just the daily phone call to talk. I knew she would always be there for me and now, she is gone. It was more than I could really take, I suppose. It is not her fault that there are so many unanswered questions regarding her health and some of the strange and cruel things that occurred. Still, there was so much pain.
At this point, I am working on shedding my financial burdens. I was able to cut my current debt in half and actually see some light at the end of the tunnel. I only charge if it is an emergency. So, for that area, I am starting to feel better about myself.
Health wise - I am a total disaster. I spent the past month suffering through bouts of allergy attacks and some sort of infection caused by the attacks. It pisses me off to use everything on the market and get no relief. However, now, I am suffering with some sort of knee problem. I think we all know the right way to cure that problem - drop weight. I suppose, I will try to start off with some low impact exercises and try to build up from there. I know I will never be model thin, but I no longer care about that. I want to lose weight and be healthy. Also, be able to go to Six Flags for a day of pure fun.
Maybe I cannot do it all in one day, but I can try to do a little bit at a time.
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