Finally - a week to myself...sort of...

As the days grow closer to the end of the year, I have half my vacation time to spend between now and then.  This week is my week to myself.  I say sort of because the dogs are here.  LOL

My thoughts of what to do ping all over my mind.  I know I want to spend time clearing out the clutter and cleaning.  It may do me a world of good to flush out the stuff that bothers me.  Learn to say "no", so that I can use that when I go back to work.  Do stuff that is good for me - get a hair cut, get maintenance done on my car, like oil change and tire rotation, get a mani/pedi, play with the PlayStation 3 or XBox 360, or just spend time doing what I enjoy.

Tomorrow is my diabetes check up.  I have extended the period a bit too long because I knew my numbers were not good.  I know my main issue is stress and I need to locate something that will help me reach a medium between work and personal life.  I need more of a personal life.

Also, I need to exercise more.  I know I feel better when I do.  That is why I mentioned the XBOX 360.  I got Kinetic for it and purchased one of the exercise activities.  A friend of mine suggested that I come back to Curves as they have a new program and another friend has lost about 70 lbs on Medifast.  I know for a fact that if I drop weight, my blood sugar will drop as well.  I need to force myself to do better because I know I can do this.  I just wish I knew what was stopping me for certain.

I mean, I do well and start losing, then I start to fail and gain weight.  Why do I do that?  Is it fear of the unknown?  Is it that I cannot handle the compliments?  Honestly, I do not want to be stick thin.  That is not my goal.  Heck, I will settle for weight between 180-200 lbs.  I just want to be healthy and feel energized.  Losing the weight will not get me the man of my dreams - I should know that.  Then, again, maybe that is why I start to fail.

I just need to think - I need to do this for ME.  Losing the weight and getting the blood sugar under control enables me to feel better and do the things I want to do for me.  I want so much to dress better and feel comfortable around others, rather than feeling ashamed.  I can do this!

Today, we believe God wants you to know that ...

although forgiveness is very hard, it is necessary.

Holding onto anger and old hurts hardens your heart and hurts only you. Ask for help in letting go of the anger. Ask to see the situation through the eyes of compassion. Allow yourself to feel the lightness of forgiveness.

I will work on that as well.