Minor Victories...

I admit - I fully dreaded today.  First, going back to work - I just was not ready to be back there.  Second, having to see the specialist for my diabetes.  I was really worried about that. 

I ate a small sandwich before going bed last night, but refused to eat anything until after the visit.  I would not recommend anyone else doing that, but for me, my blood sugar was high enough when I measured it this morning - 262.

By the time I got to work, it had lowered to 191.  I was fine with that.  When I got to Diabetes Center of America and the staff there measured my A1C and blood sugar, the numbers were 8.8 and 122.  In January, when I had last seen the first specialist there, my A1C was 11.5.  It was an improvement from the 13.2 I had previously.  This is even better.  I am still not out of the high waters, but the fact that progress is happening is a good thing.

The educator asked me if I had any troubles.  I only commented that I tend to forget to take my insulin shots when I get myself into wound up situations - where everything is crazy and there is so much to do.  Also, I have a difficult time eating the right foods when placed in a situation where there are no good choices - such as when lunch is delivered by work or someone decides on a group lunch.  In some instances, I could make better choices, but when food is delivered, I make the honest effort to pack my own.  I get chided for doing it, but I wish those people understood how diabetes affects me.  When my blood sugar is really high, I get depressed and my mood swings are really awful.  Of course, these same people claim I am just psycho.  That really makes me angry.

My weight has held a steady 304.  Not happy about that number, but not much you can do if you cannot even get out and really exercise.  I plan to change that.

More good news - the educator suggested that I increase my current Lantus injections from 50 to 55 and my Novolog to 15 units.  Before you say how is that good news, here comes the interesting piece:  both are adding another injection medication, Victoza.  This medication is approved for diabetics and it promotes having the pancreas create insulin on its own.  For a lot of diabetes patients, some has lost that trigger that tells them when they are full.  This medication will trigger that and that helps promote weight loss.  According to the specialist, while this drug is approved for diabetes patients, it is in clinical trials as a weight loss medication.  I found all of that very interesting.

So, now, I inject myself twice, once for Lantus and the other for Victoza.  I hope that the insurance will cover this medication because if it works, that would be a huge relief for me. 

I have spent a lot of time considering some sort of weight loss surgery.  I just cannot justify spending that sort of money and having the chance of something awful happening or worse, it does not work.  I do know that getting off my lazy butt and exercising always works - and I really do not have to spend money to achieve that. 

Right now, I feel really good about where I am and that there is a positive path.  I just have to keep reminding myself:

You did not get this way overnight.  Just looking at a piece of cake or a cookie does not automatically add 10 lbs to your current weight.  Be patient, take your time, and make the choice to lose the weight.  You can do this and you can do it without drastic measures.

Today's Message From God:

Today, we believe God wants you to know that ...

tolerance is your gift to the world.

It is easy to respond to hurts and frustrations with anger. The real measure of communion with God is tolerance.

Ehhhh...tolerance?  I am not so sure about that one.  I try to tolerate a lot of different BS.  Sometimes, it can be just so hurtful that I have reached my end.  At that point, I do not tolerate quite so much.