Working on That Balance...

With every version release, life gets crazy.  The kind of crazy where I am so busy doing this and that for everyone that I forget to take my medication.  That is not a good thing.  When everything calms down and there is sanity, I take my medication as prescribed and life is generally good. 

For the past month or so, it has been that nutty.  My place reflects the chaos that I have been managing.  To make matters worse, my oldest dog, Chloe, has been exhibiting her displeasure at not getting enough attention.  She has wrecked my bathroom 4 times in the past few weeks and yesterday, peed in my bedroom.  She NEVER does this. 

A lot of people want to chalk that up to her age.  Yes, she is 12 years old, but considering how nutty everything has been going in my life the past couple of months, I am sure she is taking it out on me.  The day before, I was unable to get them outside to potty for over 8 hours.  I never do that, but my day was just crazy at work.  By the time, I got out of work, I had to head straight for the mall to get my hair cut.  Yesterday, I rolled out of bed, got a quick shower, then took both dogs for a walk to potty before getting my nails done.  I walked them for about 15 minutes and both dogs did their business.  I was gone for only 3 hours, so that has to be a pissed off act.

(Believe me, I can work from home and neither dog will want to go potty for about 8 hours.  They let me know when it is time to go for "the walk.")

I cannot get angry with Chloe.  First, I did not catch her in the act.  Second, I need to figure out what needs to be corrected.  I figure, Chloe misses her "sofa time."  I had a lot of junk on the sofa and with working so much, I sit in front of the computer all of the time.  Chloe comes to my side and sits, waiting for me to get off of the computer and sit on the sofa.  That way, she can cuddle up next to me while I watch TV. 

Last night, I figured I would work on this for Chloe.  I cleared off the sofa and we both sat there and watch TV.  I could tell it made Chloe very happy.  She cuddled as close as she could for a very long time.  I watched Bernie on NetFlicks, then In Like Flint.  We stayed there for about 3 to 4 hours.  At one point, Bo hopped up on the sofa to get some "mommy" time.  I missed it as much as the dogs missed it.  While I am not advocating being a total couch potato, this is their quality time - just being with me.  Therefore, it really digs at my heart when it gets crazy.

On the health balance side, yesterday, I ran by Whole Foods and got a lot of fresh veggies.  I got some kale, cauliflower, tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, butternut squash, zucchini, and yellow squash.  What am I going to do with all of that?  Tomatoes - salads and sandwiches or even by themselves.  Mushrooms will go great in salads and some pasta dishes.  Kale - wilt down with some garlic and olive oil. 

My plan is to sit down with my daily planner and make out my meals and go with that.  No more last minute decisions because in the end, I always end up getting take out and that is bad.  I think a really good idea is to have a vegetarian meal at least twice a week.  Salad and tomato soup or just the salad by itself.  Another is to come up with a group of veggies that work well together for a meal.  I have not thought all of it through, but the fact remains - plan it out.  I do not want anything too difficult during the week.

Walking - I say I am going to do it and never get an opportunity.  Well, gotta start somewhere.  I have to get moving and that is all there is to that.  I wear this FitBit every day, but I am not doing my part and that weighs heavily on me.  I know I need to do it, but why can I not get motivated to do it?  Maybe it is like cleaning - I overwhelm myself when I know that if I just start with a small part and work on it, I can get it done.

Goofy fun side.  Every two weeks or so, I get a manicure/pedicure.  I can do a pretty decent job of a manicure, but when it comes to the pedicure, watch out.  I can really trash up my toe nails and feet and I am not talking about the polish part.  The pedicure is very important because I need to keep my feet and toenails in good condition, so it is not just about pampering myself as much as it is about health.

I have all of this nail polish at home.  Sometimes, I cannot decide which polish I want to wear.  I had another one of those days.  I have two very cool seasonal polishes from Essie.  One is a blue and the other a purplish-pink.  My tendency is to put the pink on the finger nails and the blue on the toes.  However, I really liked the blue a lot and wanted that on my finger nails, but I also wanted the pink.  So, I had the manicurist alternate them - on fingers and toes!  I love it!  Fun, funky and what is more - it really makes me feel good.  My mom would have thought I was crazy, but the 25 year old in me says "This is so cool!"  The 46 year old shakes its head, but smiles.  I cannot help it - I am not hurting anyone and it is just me.

Today's Message to Me from God:

Today, we believe God wants you to know that ...

you are loved and you are not alone.

Even when you feel alone, know that you are surrounded by divine love. Like God, love is not visible, but that does not mean it is not there. You are loved.

Not sure why, but this message reminded me of the Jack Chick comic "Someone Loves You".  I saw it back in the 70's and it affected me so much.  Even today, I looked it up and had the same affect.  Looking at the comic today, though, I don't think the girl just left the boy there.  He passed away before she could get back with help - she had given the boy her coat.  Without no doubt, the comic is very depressing, but there is truth in it for those neglected, abused children.  Sort of like seeing all of the posts regarding the abused animals - it kills me each and every time.  I hate reading all of that, but I do realize that we do have some very sick individuals in this world.  I know I try to close my eyes to it, but I need to realize that does not make it go away - it just continues to grow.

There are moments when I feel alone, but I try to look at it like this:  God as a plan.  Whatever that plan may be, it very possibly does not include others.  I have to sort out the "test" he has.  Sort of like taking a test - you just cannot get your neighbor's help.  :-)  You have to figure it out on your own and learn the lesson.