Friday, June 17, 2016

Rest in Peace, My Dearest Friend...

About twenty years ago, I met my friend, Vickie, on a USENET news group called dfw.singles.  A news group filled with people in the DFW area who were either single, divorced, and even married.  For the most part, the group would chide one another, discuss major topics going on in the world, and generally get along.  It was a clique of people, but the discussions were always interesting.  Most revolved around a woman named, Erica.  I will admit, sometimes, we were not always nice to new people.  There are never any excuses for being rude and those were times I regret.

Erica started the initial get together at a Starbucks in 1998, but it was Vickie who found our gathering hole at a place called, Pockets.  There were pool tables, decent food, and plenty of good times.  It was a monthly thing we did and my mother actually approved of my going - it got me out of the house. 

I got to know Vickie and really liked her.  She had so many tales to tell about her life.  Her nickname was CAT - at the time, she was part of a cat/kitten rescue called Kittens, Inc.  She was helping her friend, Mary Nell, with the rescue and was always rescuing any cat she saw roaming around the streets.

During the time I knew Vickie, she spent a lot of time writing with her friend, Bruce.  I remember the several times we would plan to have dinner together and she would talk about getting together with Bruce to work on her novel.  I am not sure if she ever got a book published or not, but she had several that she had in the works.

Her life was dedicated to helping others and was always there to defend her friends.  She also had her staunch feelings regarding getting things right.  I believe many CEOs of various companies knew her well.  She never hesitated to go straight to the higher authority.

At one point, Vickie had a rather new procedure done to help her lose weight.  She went from over 300 lbs down to 165, which worked with her height and bone structure.  She kept wanting me to have the same surgery, but you know me, if I do not need to be cut on, I would rather not.  My luck, I probably would end up with something worse happening.

In 2011, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She had a double mastectomy done and endured several months of chemo treatments.  When she lost her hair, memories of what my mother had gone through flashed before me.  This time, she beat the cancer...or so we thought.

After spending an evening with Random Cathy in Bishop Arts, I had just realized that one of the diamond earrings I had was missing from my ear lobe.  I was a mess because I had gotten them from money my mother gave to me in 2009 to buy them.  She wanted me to have the 1 ct diamond studs for my birthday and after my mother's issues the month of June, she had forgotten my birthday.  It was her way of making up for that.

That night, as I was driving home, I called Vickie.  She had gone into the hospital with a lot of pain.  She told me that if God had meant for me to have that earring, I would find it.  Shortly after that, she told me that the cancer had returned - it was in her bones and her liver.  The same feeling came over me when my own mother had told me that she had cancer that last time.  I knew this was it.  I cried on the way home.  Once I had gotten home, I had gone into the bathroom and as I looked at the bathtub, there was my earring.  I cried again - what would I do without Vickie?  

I tried to keep up with Vickie throughout the year.  We would go out to eat often and talk about what she needed to get done before the end.  We both knew it was going to happen, but if the medications given to her were working, she would have an extra 2 to 3 years.

What kept her going was her undying drive to save animals - dogs, cats, and what have you.  She spent a good bit of her time left making sure cats were saved from kill shelters and transported to either good homes or rescues/sanctuaries.  She never wanted to see another animal put down simply because no one picked it at the shelter.

I wish I could have done more for her over the years.  I did try.  I remember taking her an old fashioned Southern New Year's Day dinner when she was in the hospital.  She was so hungry and I wanted to make sure that year she had the best of luck.  I will never forget the look on her face when I bought her a Wii.  She had wanted one for so long, but there was always something.  It was her birthday and I surprised her with the gaming system and a copy of her favorite - Zelda.

I found out yesterday that my dear friend had passed onto the next plane.  My last conversation with her had only been two weeks prior to her death.  I knew that the end was coming, but I had hope that she would be around a bit longer.  Her life was pretty much where she wanted it to be - all of the cats had been placed.  Her dogs would be well cared for at a dog sanctuary in California with the request that if someone wanted to adopt one of them, both dogs were to be adopted together - the dogs were brother and sister.  At this age, I would not want them separated, either.

I cried that my dear friend was gone.  I am grateful that she is no longer any pain or having to suffer.  I will miss that genuine friendship - she never wanted anything other than a contribution for the rescue, no matter how small.  

My hope is that when she reached the bridge, she was greeted with all of the animals that got there before her and help her cross over.  She is with the people she loved, like Mary Nell, who was her friend and had passed away many years ago.  Mary had helped Vickie financially and gave her the house that she had been living when Mary passed away.  

Maybe she will be able to visit with my own mother - I know Vickie had always wished she could have met her.  Who knows?

I am grateful to have known this wonderfully crazy and committed woman.  She was an inspiration and a great confidante for me.  I will miss her terribly.  I hope when my time comes, she will be one of the people I meet.

Rest in Peace, Vickie!  You deserve it!

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