Too Many Interests...

Some days, I really have to take a step back and take stock in what I am really trying achieve these days.  Last week, I took on taking three art classes and felt horrible about the time I spent away from the house.  Mainly, I should be doing other things than going out and spending time away from the dogs or doing the much needed cleaning.

However, there is just so much I would love to do.  I would like to be a better artist to a certain degree.  I mean, when I took the classes, I was able to "escape" to another place.  Work and home problems simply left my mind as I focused on what I was trying to do.

The other thing is that I end up finding myself in a rut.  Generally, I feel this is my life:

Get up in the morning and walk the dogs
Return and clean them up
Get their medications placed into their favorite treats as well as prepare fresh water and food
Give the dogs their meds, food, and water.
Check work e-mails to see if there is anything "hot" that needs my attention
Get cleaned up
Work (whether I go into the office or work from home)
Walk the dogs after work has completed
Clean them up when we return
Try to determine what I am going to eat for the evening, but I have to make sure that they have fresh water and food again
Walk the dogs and clean them up before going to bed

Just this week, I ended up working from home due to various things.  I ended up skipping breakfast because my mornings were so crazy with the dogs and work.  In the evenings, I would go lie down with the dogs because they wanted that attention, so I may end up falling asleep, reading, and maybe watching TV.  Due to that, I would eat dinner at an ungodly hour.

Dogs are not to blame for this - I am.  I am allowing this to happen and I am trying to break some bad habits, but it is really difficult to do.  However, I feel badly when I do not get an opportunity to work on cleaning the apartment.  My biggest headache to prevent me from getting things cleaned has been my back.  Sometimes, the pain can be so intense that I cannot bear to stand up much longer.

I do not like what is happening to me.  It bothers me to no end.  My goal is to take some time to evaluate what I am doing wrong and figure out how to gain myself some time to do those things that interest me without ignoring the dogs.  Their life on this earth is shorter than mine.  However, I also need to feed my soul as well.  

Last night, I laid in bed and thought.  I have to do something about the weight.  Exercising is just not happening and I am doing really horribly with eating properly.  I want to lose weight, but not for the sake of vanity.  I want to lose weight so that my back will quit hurting.  Get the weight off so that I can walk the dogs longer and they appreciate that time.  Today, I feel awful because we cannot enjoy the time together due to the back pain.

I am incredibly grateful that my knee pain has subsided tremendously, but I do have my fear of it returning.  Even worse, that my other knee will have the same trouble.  I just hate going through all of this.

So my reasons for doing all of this is not for vanity's sake, but just for my own sanity.  At some point, I have to figure out the better routine.