So far, I have made a dent in the clutter situation in my apartment, but I still have more to do. That is okay. It needs to be done and I am starting to feel better. I just need to prevent myself from falling into the trap of looking at things to buy for "after" the declutter. It is better just to wait until the declutter and deep cleaning are done. At that point, think hard of what to get rid of in order to bring something new into the apartment.
Bo and I did not sleep well last night. Yesterday was the 7 year anniversary of my mother's passing. While I felt incredibly sad, the weather outside was a bit frightening. The weather was very cold and the area experienced snow flurries. The part that made sleeping a bit of a pain was that in the evening, the smoke alarms in the apartment would intermittently go off. Not sure which unit has some issues, but poor Bo, he hates the devices. I feel awful about it, so I am hoping that the units in question are those that I can reach easily with a ladder to change the battery. Nutshell, smoke alarms are basically a necessary evil. You have to have them, but when they are faulty, they are not much good.
My hope is that the weather will warm up a bit. I know by Monday, the area will be back in the 60s. Texas weather is really crazy.
On Monday, I purchased a couple of audio books. I am disappointed that the system did not recognize the fact that I had credits available when purchasing one book. I am working on trying to be better at cleaning. I have only heard a few sections of this one book and I am already working on making sure that the kitchen sink is empty.
I am still trying to organize myself a bit as I go along. It all takes time, I realize. However, I am simply trying to form good habits. I was proud of the fact that I avoided getting food out from a restaurant this week. I may get something out tonight, but that is still being decided. I am still pretty stoked that I have a good bit of cash in my wallet that I would not necessarily had at this time of the week. So, that helps me promote preparing my own foods to eat. I actually feel better about that.
At Michaels, I bought some journal books to help me with changing my habits and so forth. The "Fitness and Nutrition" journal allows you to set up an 8 week plan, set your starting point, and your goals. My reward for this 8 week period will be treating myself to purchasing either a new perfume or get a makeover. Notice, I did not put in there to get something from the Cheesecake Factory or Smallcakes. Food as a reward is not a good idea. Proper rewards like getting a new perfume or makeover make sense - I am not tempted.
Now, that I have said that, I am trying to make sure I eat my breakfast, even if it is one of those Boost Glucose Control chocolate shakes. Also, make sure I eat a sensible lunch and dinner. Last night, I went a bit overboard and had chili with cut up hotdogs and chopped onion over crushed crackers and topped with some cheese. I did not eat the entire can of chili - I have the other half as leftover, so that is actually a good thing.
The other things I am doing is trying to wean myself off of diet sodas. I try to drink more water and unsweet iced tea. My blood sugar is showing signs of improvement in that area. For instance, my blood sugar in the morning has been ranging between 210-220. Lately, my blood sugar is ranging between 130-140. That is a vast improvement. My hope is that my weight will start falling off as well and that in turn will help wean me down on the amount of insulin I am taking. I may never get off of insulin injections, but to be taking less would be a good thing.
The other reason for changing my habits in order to lose weight, I am so sick and tired of the back and knee pain. The weather changing outside is a contributing factor, but when I haul heavy bags either in or out of the apartment, I pay for that with severe back pain. Oxycodone does absolutely NOTHING to rectify that situation. Sitting down provides immediate relief, but I need to be more active. I am going to work on strengthening my core muscles as well. My chiropractor indicated that it would help my back. Personally, I am tired of going under and nothing working to ease or eliminate the pain. I know that there are people in more severe situations than myself. I feel for them - I truly do. I just wished that I could end the pain and be more productive.
One thing that I am looking into doing is maybe posting video logs. I put myself out there in this format, but I have been watching a lot of YouTube videos. Maybe I can help others - who knows. I know there are many who make money from YouTube, but I am not in it for that. I would be doing it to increase my self-confidence. To be honest, I hate seeing myself how I am today. I also know I have low self-esteem and so forth. People out there can be ruthless - I have seen that first hand.
I try to be kind to all people. I put up with a LOT from people who have no sense of their going too far. I need to nip that stuff in the bud when I experience it. Those people need to learn boundaries and how to properly handle themselves.
I have a lot on my plate for this year, but I can make it happen.
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