The most productive thing I have been able to achieve this weekend was getting laundry done, clean the dishes, remove "some" trash, and make some pralines. I did cook dinner last night and toinght. That is good for me because I can use the left overs for lunch at work.
Slowly, through the week, I plan on taking time to throw out more "stuff". My goal is to reduce the chaos in my life. The chaotic on-call schedule will be over and I can devote more time to cleaning my life. It is time to start shedding the things that are crap in my life. I need to get a balance in my life.
I feel strongly that if I can clear the chaos in my life, that will reduce the stress in my life. It will provide me time to make the right adjustments.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Minimalista?
Sometimes, I gaze at my iPhone to see who has posted something on Twitter. I had to cut back my feeds considerably because some posters post, well, just too much. LOL Granted, I have unlimited text messaging, the phone company still frowns on heavy usage. Remember the rumor that at&t sent out an email to their top 5% of heavy users. That was no rumor - I actually got that email. *snicker*
Anyway, Cathy posted something about a new book called "30 Days to Simple Living". That intrigued me. My apartment is simply put - a mess. I realize the situation is dire and I thank God that after this on-call week, I will be off on-call duty for about a month. Therefore, I want to spend my free time "cleansing" myself of all of the crap.
Right now, I need to get myself through the first book "3, 2, 1 Simple". (I forget the name of the book.) I downloaded both books from Amazon. (There is my first step - I bought something and it does not have a physical appearance in my abode.) So, I am reading about how to break up the areas and concentrate on each one. Tear everything out and make decisions about what to keep, throw away, or what have you. Seems like a good plan.
Cathy would like for both of us to take on the second book together. It is supposed to be used as a "crash course". This should be interesting.
I just want the time to clear my home and possibly clear my head. Everything is way to chaotic for me and I am not dealing well at all.
Anyway, Cathy posted something about a new book called "30 Days to Simple Living". That intrigued me. My apartment is simply put - a mess. I realize the situation is dire and I thank God that after this on-call week, I will be off on-call duty for about a month. Therefore, I want to spend my free time "cleansing" myself of all of the crap.
Right now, I need to get myself through the first book "3, 2, 1 Simple". (I forget the name of the book.) I downloaded both books from Amazon. (There is my first step - I bought something and it does not have a physical appearance in my abode.) So, I am reading about how to break up the areas and concentrate on each one. Tear everything out and make decisions about what to keep, throw away, or what have you. Seems like a good plan.
Cathy would like for both of us to take on the second book together. It is supposed to be used as a "crash course". This should be interesting.
I just want the time to clear my home and possibly clear my head. Everything is way to chaotic for me and I am not dealing well at all.
Hell week...
Ever feel like someone is out to get you - everything you do is wrong - when you do fix something, you are still the one to blame?
Yep - I am having one of those days. I also opened my mouth and just said "If you want, you can fire me."
Sad part - I was serious. I had enough of trying to do the right thing and feeling like I was constantly doing wrong.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, but something has to change from this burden.
Yep - I am having one of those days. I also opened my mouth and just said "If you want, you can fire me."
Sad part - I was serious. I had enough of trying to do the right thing and feeling like I was constantly doing wrong.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, but something has to change from this burden.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Re-evaluating various situations...
Chaos has become a way of life. My apartment looks like something from "Hoarders" or "Clean House". Work seems to be unrelentless. Of course, my health is taking some pretty hard hits.
In late August, I took a trip to Bowling Green, KY to see my aunt. I went with my father and his girlfriend. The night before the trip, I was up all night writing up documentation and such for the team to follow. I had no real idea of my ability to be "accessible" to work while I was on vacation.
I spent the car trip between DFW and Memphis, TN sleeping in a cramped car. Needless to say, my feet and ankles were already swollen and it was not very comfortable. Luckily, I did not experience that "restless leg" syndrome I tend to get from time to time. I was worried about that.
My blood sugar for a few weeks had been between 250 and 300. This is not good and I was doing all I could to eat right. By the time I got to Bowling Green, KY and was in the condo, my blood sugar started taking a dive. Day by day, the morning numbers would be lower than I had ever experienced. One day, my blood sugar was 96. NEVER, EVER in the 6 years of dealing with this disease had I been able to achieve that.
Granted, I still had to answer to work issues (yes, even though I was on vacation.) and deal with the minor annoyances that happen on trips, my blood sugar stayed low. It had to be stress.
Unfortunately, when I went on a short trip to New Orleans, I did not experience that low blood sugar, but I had a great time all the same. I ate and drank items that were bad for me.
After that trip, work became all consuming. I really do not have the time I should have. So, I have to grapple with figuring out some middle ground. We all have to work to live, but we should never live to work. There is more to life than babysitting some process.
The other part of this puzzle is determining how to flush out the chaos in my apartment. One thing is to stop the shopaholic tendencies I have. I get depressed, so if I am not eating, then I go out shopping. That has to end. That contributes to a lot of the clutter I have. More importantly, I need to ditch the current clutter.
My high school friend, Cathy, had posted a message regarding a book about achieving simple living. Basically, the mindset of how to purge and achieve simple living that allow you more time for yourself. Oddly enough, I was able to download these two books on the Kindle - there is the first start. LOL I am trying to read a little bit each night, even though I am doing that evil on-call duty this week. I want to be able to purge things from my life to bring more clarity.
I hope to work together with Cathy on the crash course book that the author wrote. Maybe that will help me to see more clearly on getting past all of this and regain some control over my life.
In late August, I took a trip to Bowling Green, KY to see my aunt. I went with my father and his girlfriend. The night before the trip, I was up all night writing up documentation and such for the team to follow. I had no real idea of my ability to be "accessible" to work while I was on vacation.
I spent the car trip between DFW and Memphis, TN sleeping in a cramped car. Needless to say, my feet and ankles were already swollen and it was not very comfortable. Luckily, I did not experience that "restless leg" syndrome I tend to get from time to time. I was worried about that.
My blood sugar for a few weeks had been between 250 and 300. This is not good and I was doing all I could to eat right. By the time I got to Bowling Green, KY and was in the condo, my blood sugar started taking a dive. Day by day, the morning numbers would be lower than I had ever experienced. One day, my blood sugar was 96. NEVER, EVER in the 6 years of dealing with this disease had I been able to achieve that.
Granted, I still had to answer to work issues (yes, even though I was on vacation.) and deal with the minor annoyances that happen on trips, my blood sugar stayed low. It had to be stress.
Unfortunately, when I went on a short trip to New Orleans, I did not experience that low blood sugar, but I had a great time all the same. I ate and drank items that were bad for me.
After that trip, work became all consuming. I really do not have the time I should have. So, I have to grapple with figuring out some middle ground. We all have to work to live, but we should never live to work. There is more to life than babysitting some process.
The other part of this puzzle is determining how to flush out the chaos in my apartment. One thing is to stop the shopaholic tendencies I have. I get depressed, so if I am not eating, then I go out shopping. That has to end. That contributes to a lot of the clutter I have. More importantly, I need to ditch the current clutter.
My high school friend, Cathy, had posted a message regarding a book about achieving simple living. Basically, the mindset of how to purge and achieve simple living that allow you more time for yourself. Oddly enough, I was able to download these two books on the Kindle - there is the first start. LOL I am trying to read a little bit each night, even though I am doing that evil on-call duty this week. I want to be able to purge things from my life to bring more clarity.
I hope to work together with Cathy on the crash course book that the author wrote. Maybe that will help me to see more clearly on getting past all of this and regain some control over my life.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
People can make me smile...
You know, I tried to get over that whole "unfriending" thing today and I posted about how I must have been a nuisance. I know I probably should not have posted that, but it definitely made my heart swell to know that people I really do not know well did not think that of me.
A friend did post that I have a tendency to post about food and dogs. That is pretty much my life without the complaints about work. My goal is not to mention work that much.
I still have days where I do not feel adequate enough. Relationships are lost upon me for whatever reason. Some people still treat me as if I am inferior or stupid. Maybe that is why I am where I am today.
Maybe I am suffering major depression and do not really know it? I mean, my legs and such just ache. I tire very easily. However, I figure that is due to my diabetes. Maybe I am still not over grieving?
Maybe I think and watch TV too much.
A friend did post that I have a tendency to post about food and dogs. That is pretty much my life without the complaints about work. My goal is not to mention work that much.
I still have days where I do not feel adequate enough. Relationships are lost upon me for whatever reason. Some people still treat me as if I am inferior or stupid. Maybe that is why I am where I am today.
Maybe I am suffering major depression and do not really know it? I mean, my legs and such just ache. I tire very easily. However, I figure that is due to my diabetes. Maybe I am still not over grieving?
Maybe I think and watch TV too much.
Is it me or you or just the way it is?
Facebook has provided me the ability to reconnect with friends long lost. I have been able to establish new friendships with people that attended my high school. Lately, I noticed that someone who had been such a motivator for me to work on my eating and such has dropped me from her friends list.
Part of me takes it pretty hard, but at the same time, another part of me is saying "Okay, well, she was not really acting in kind towards you." As I sat here and re-evaluated the situation, in high school, she made me feel like I was a nuisance when I was trying to be nice. Again, I guess we have gotten to that stage again. I had mentioned about taking some cool wash cloths to a Ranger game and got the response about it not being her first rodeo. I was only making the suggestion.
Quite honestly, I do not need that sort of snobbish behavior in my life. I guess I bored her or as I said, become a nuisance. It saddens me, but for the most part, it is probably a good thing. There was obviously a reason why we were not "friends" in high school and today, what is the point?
I read where someone posted something to the effect of why get in touch with people who left our lives. It was obvious that they left our lives for a reason. This person was never really a part of my life and why is it so important that she be a part of my life now? I guess maybe I was hoping to reconnect with people to help me with losing my mother and the work stress. It was my escape - a place to go where there was no stress.
I wish her well with life and should I run into her, so be it. I won't ask why or what did I do wrong. I have found that people generally do not want to talk about it - they just want to let it go and not explain. So, I need to let it go and get on with life.
Part of me takes it pretty hard, but at the same time, another part of me is saying "Okay, well, she was not really acting in kind towards you." As I sat here and re-evaluated the situation, in high school, she made me feel like I was a nuisance when I was trying to be nice. Again, I guess we have gotten to that stage again. I had mentioned about taking some cool wash cloths to a Ranger game and got the response about it not being her first rodeo. I was only making the suggestion.
Quite honestly, I do not need that sort of snobbish behavior in my life. I guess I bored her or as I said, become a nuisance. It saddens me, but for the most part, it is probably a good thing. There was obviously a reason why we were not "friends" in high school and today, what is the point?
I read where someone posted something to the effect of why get in touch with people who left our lives. It was obvious that they left our lives for a reason. This person was never really a part of my life and why is it so important that she be a part of my life now? I guess maybe I was hoping to reconnect with people to help me with losing my mother and the work stress. It was my escape - a place to go where there was no stress.
I wish her well with life and should I run into her, so be it. I won't ask why or what did I do wrong. I have found that people generally do not want to talk about it - they just want to let it go and not explain. So, I need to let it go and get on with life.
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