Today, I measured my blood sugar and it was 347. Last night, it was 310. On top of that, I have to deal with the meds messing up my system to the point where it was better if I stayed home to work. It really kills me. Then, you have to deal with the weight numbers. It is a constant yo-yo situation.
The numbers game is a two edged sword. When the numbers are going in the "good" direction, one can feels o good about themselves. The moment those numbers move in the opposite direction, talk about killjoy. The idea of failure sets in and people feel they are less than what they should be.
The toughest hurdle I have with this is trying to look at this in a realistic view: Those numbers are constantly changing. You can only control how much "off" those number go in certain ways. You just have to do your best and try not to get caught up in the mess. Take my current situation for example, I knew my blood sugar number was not good, but it was better than the 328 I had measured that morning. So, I was feeling good about that. This morning, seeing the 347 was just a punch to the stomach. "What did I do wrong?"
First of all, my numbers are terribly off and that is MY fault. I have neglected my health for a large amount of reasons. I can blame who or what on those failures, but bottom line, it is my responsibility. Accountability is on my shoulders, not others. When I let others run my life, then I have lost control of me. I hear a friend of mine always telling wait staff and such that we have Type II diabetes. First, that information is not any part of their business. Second, learn to read menus and determine what you can have to eat. Third, do not promote others to share in your "fudging" incidents - such as "I had a bad day - let's go get a hamburger and fries."
For my part, I realize who my saboteurs are and they need to be kept at arm's length. My friend mentioned above - I need to start giving into going and getting a hamburger with her. If I meet her for dinner, then pick out something reasonable for me to eat. I have to make the effort to make sure I check restaurants on line for their menus and pick out healthy foods.
Next, try not to get into a rut. You know, one spends so much time being told "You can always have a salad." Yes, I could. Then, again, is that salad really healthy for me? Probably not, depending on where I am. Then, again, I could use some protein. I just wished there were more options.
So, what did I do when I saw the 347 number this morning? I simply said, "Okay - let's watch what we eat today and just stay the course." I decided I needed to eat breakfast, so I fixed some cottage cheese with some sugar free mandarin oranges and some sausage. Calorie and carb stand point, I did not do too badly. I just need to continue to be on my toes and fix up some healthy snacks for me to have at work.
Let's do this!!!
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