Today is my 45th birthday. It seems like yesterday when I graduated from high school and was about to enter college. Now, I look at my life and wonder what happened. I know what happened - I just did not do all of the things I wanted to do. That is my fault and now, I need to make a change.
I spent many years working and taking the occasional vacation. The one vacation I took without my parents was to go with some friends to Las Vegas in 2002. Right now, I want to pay off some bills and get a new car. I also want to clean up my apartment and organize it the way I want. I just need to learn to tell certain people and such "No" when they want to derail my plans.
In the next couple of weeks, I need to go see the doctor. First, I will do the mammogram and get that out of the way. When I see the doctor, I will have to fast and go through the whole check up. I know my diabetes is pretty high. I haven't been doing myself much favors mainly because I am constantly under stress, so I let that be my reason for making bad choices. That is wrong as well. However, I really need to be able to fix the stress issue.
What to do today? Well, since it is my birthday, I am going to eat a few "bad" foods. Only because I need to get rid of it and I do not have them that often. After this entry, I am going to fix myself some pancakes and bacon. I think I may get a Schlotzky's sandwich for lunch and hang out with the dogs.
I am off work today and tomorrow. I will pull my lessons for my Java and Perl courses, then work on the assignments. Now, while that sounds like "work", I actually enjoy it as I love programming. I am trying to improve my skills. So, this works for me.
On to fixing breakfast for the dogs and myself as well as do some laundry. I will post more later!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Interesting Times Ahead...
I need to get over my nerves of going to see the doctor. It has been well over a year since I went to see the doctor. I know my blood sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides, and such have been off the charts for quite some time. I know I am not doing myself much favors by not going to see the doctor. For some reason, I have no motivation. Not looking for a pity party here, either. What has happened, I have allowed to happen. What I need to figure out is how to just say "No."
Tomorrow is Father's Day and quite honestly, I have no idea of what to get my own father for that day. I do plan on taking him out to eat at Ruth Chris's Steak House. I have never been there and thought that would be a really nice place to eat. Also, I have tickets to the Rangers game.
On Wednesday, I will turn 45. Hmmm...45. I know it is just a number, but I have really been feeling the age creep up on me. If I sit for prolong periods of time, my legs ache like there is no tomorrow. Today, my fingers feel numb and tingly. That is not a good sign.
I have found that Task Coach is really helping me stay on top of projects/requests at work. I am so glad. However, some things still fall through the cracks. Mainly because I do not get the information until it is too late and that is out of my control.
Last night, I was talking with a friend. She wants to do technical writing. I took many courses in technical writing back in my college days. Now, I would just like to do any kind of writing. I worry about the status of my current job and there are days I wonder if I could make it as an author/writer.
Maybe, that is something to take courses in doing and look to it as my second career.
Tomorrow is Father's Day and quite honestly, I have no idea of what to get my own father for that day. I do plan on taking him out to eat at Ruth Chris's Steak House. I have never been there and thought that would be a really nice place to eat. Also, I have tickets to the Rangers game.
On Wednesday, I will turn 45. Hmmm...45. I know it is just a number, but I have really been feeling the age creep up on me. If I sit for prolong periods of time, my legs ache like there is no tomorrow. Today, my fingers feel numb and tingly. That is not a good sign.
I have found that Task Coach is really helping me stay on top of projects/requests at work. I am so glad. However, some things still fall through the cracks. Mainly because I do not get the information until it is too late and that is out of my control.
Last night, I was talking with a friend. She wants to do technical writing. I took many courses in technical writing back in my college days. Now, I would just like to do any kind of writing. I worry about the status of my current job and there are days I wonder if I could make it as an author/writer.
Maybe, that is something to take courses in doing and look to it as my second career.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Reorganizing my life...
Seems like I tend to live in chaos every day. The only real structure is getting up, tending to the dogs' needs, going to work, coming home to tend to the dogs' needs, cook/get dinner, then bed. By the time I get home at night, I am so worn out that even now, I no longer want to work/play on the computer. I have movies/games that I haven't even taken out of the shrink wrap.
The whole thing disgusts me to no end. I know it is an unhealthy way to live because it is the constant stress. Now, I love my dogs - more than anything in life. They bring me such joy, but can also be a real hassle. That is why I tend to compare them to children. Most people will tell you how much joy their children bring to them, but there is always that "dark side" they never tell single people.
My plan for this past week and half from work was to "clean." Due to issues out of my own control, I spent a good deal of time "working", rather than "cleaning." I need to sort out how to address those work issues and make sure that this never happens again.
I did make it a point to make sure to get as much laundry done as I possibly could. Right now, I have loads and loads of laundry folded on my dining room table and in various small plastic baskets. Today, I plan on putting away that laundry. I also plan on cleaning up my two bathrooms, utility room, and kitchen. I will leave the living room, "office area", and my bedroom for this coming weekend.
More importantly, I need to design a schedule that will get me into making sure the place stays clean. I know I let a lot of stuff go when my mother became ill and needed someone to help take care of her and the house. Also, I put myself into a deep depression when she passed away. It is difficult to conceive how much one can miss just the daily phone call to talk. I knew she would always be there for me and now, she is gone. It was more than I could really take, I suppose. It is not her fault that there are so many unanswered questions regarding her health and some of the strange and cruel things that occurred. Still, there was so much pain.
At this point, I am working on shedding my financial burdens. I was able to cut my current debt in half and actually see some light at the end of the tunnel. I only charge if it is an emergency. So, for that area, I am starting to feel better about myself.
Health wise - I am a total disaster. I spent the past month suffering through bouts of allergy attacks and some sort of infection caused by the attacks. It pisses me off to use everything on the market and get no relief. However, now, I am suffering with some sort of knee problem. I think we all know the right way to cure that problem - drop weight. I suppose, I will try to start off with some low impact exercises and try to build up from there. I know I will never be model thin, but I no longer care about that. I want to lose weight and be healthy. Also, be able to go to Six Flags for a day of pure fun.
Maybe I cannot do it all in one day, but I can try to do a little bit at a time.
The whole thing disgusts me to no end. I know it is an unhealthy way to live because it is the constant stress. Now, I love my dogs - more than anything in life. They bring me such joy, but can also be a real hassle. That is why I tend to compare them to children. Most people will tell you how much joy their children bring to them, but there is always that "dark side" they never tell single people.
My plan for this past week and half from work was to "clean." Due to issues out of my own control, I spent a good deal of time "working", rather than "cleaning." I need to sort out how to address those work issues and make sure that this never happens again.
I did make it a point to make sure to get as much laundry done as I possibly could. Right now, I have loads and loads of laundry folded on my dining room table and in various small plastic baskets. Today, I plan on putting away that laundry. I also plan on cleaning up my two bathrooms, utility room, and kitchen. I will leave the living room, "office area", and my bedroom for this coming weekend.
More importantly, I need to design a schedule that will get me into making sure the place stays clean. I know I let a lot of stuff go when my mother became ill and needed someone to help take care of her and the house. Also, I put myself into a deep depression when she passed away. It is difficult to conceive how much one can miss just the daily phone call to talk. I knew she would always be there for me and now, she is gone. It was more than I could really take, I suppose. It is not her fault that there are so many unanswered questions regarding her health and some of the strange and cruel things that occurred. Still, there was so much pain.
At this point, I am working on shedding my financial burdens. I was able to cut my current debt in half and actually see some light at the end of the tunnel. I only charge if it is an emergency. So, for that area, I am starting to feel better about myself.
Health wise - I am a total disaster. I spent the past month suffering through bouts of allergy attacks and some sort of infection caused by the attacks. It pisses me off to use everything on the market and get no relief. However, now, I am suffering with some sort of knee problem. I think we all know the right way to cure that problem - drop weight. I suppose, I will try to start off with some low impact exercises and try to build up from there. I know I will never be model thin, but I no longer care about that. I want to lose weight and be healthy. Also, be able to go to Six Flags for a day of pure fun.
Maybe I cannot do it all in one day, but I can try to do a little bit at a time.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Melissa's work is never done...
Oddly enough, that seems to be the story of my life. I manage to get some things done, but a majority time, I have projects that are constantly "works in progress" and takes time to get back around to completing. The most frustrating part of all of this is either becoming ill, dealing with the dogs, and work. There is very little "me" time and the sick part of it - I actually want to get these things completed.
Right now, I am trying to reorganize myself and my time. I see things that take more time than they should and I want to locate ways of streamlining those tasks. One such task is doing my weekly status report. On a daily basis, I get over 400+ emails. It is a daunting task to go through all of that just to put together "everything I did this week and here are my projects." I found a couple of applications that I am going to try out to help me out.
First, Task Coach. I came upon that when I was running my Fedora Core 14 instance. I found that there is a Windows version as well as a portable version that I can put on my portable drive. I downloaded the Windows version and started playing around with it. I think that might help a lot with the projects and such at work. The nice part is I may be able to copy and paste a lot of that I put in Task Coach and place into the group's status report format.
For my summer continuing education courses, I have started setting up MS OneNote. I have played around with OneNote, but really have not put any "effort" into using it. I am also toying around with the idea of setting up a "Health Notebook" to keep up with my diabetes and track what I eat.
Right now, I am trying to work on my most major of projects - cleaning my apartment. Talk about an overwhelming task. I was doing pretty well with keeping the place clean on the weekends, but "life" got in the way. Now, I am trying to do what I can to straighten up and make it less messy. Wish me well - I know I won't get it completed as I spent most of my time being ill or having to check on work issues. However, I am going to give it a damn good try. Maybe, when my father comes to visit, he will notice a difference.
Right now, I am trying to reorganize myself and my time. I see things that take more time than they should and I want to locate ways of streamlining those tasks. One such task is doing my weekly status report. On a daily basis, I get over 400+ emails. It is a daunting task to go through all of that just to put together "everything I did this week and here are my projects." I found a couple of applications that I am going to try out to help me out.
First, Task Coach. I came upon that when I was running my Fedora Core 14 instance. I found that there is a Windows version as well as a portable version that I can put on my portable drive. I downloaded the Windows version and started playing around with it. I think that might help a lot with the projects and such at work. The nice part is I may be able to copy and paste a lot of that I put in Task Coach and place into the group's status report format.
For my summer continuing education courses, I have started setting up MS OneNote. I have played around with OneNote, but really have not put any "effort" into using it. I am also toying around with the idea of setting up a "Health Notebook" to keep up with my diabetes and track what I eat.
Right now, I am trying to work on my most major of projects - cleaning my apartment. Talk about an overwhelming task. I was doing pretty well with keeping the place clean on the weekends, but "life" got in the way. Now, I am trying to do what I can to straighten up and make it less messy. Wish me well - I know I won't get it completed as I spent most of my time being ill or having to check on work issues. However, I am going to give it a damn good try. Maybe, when my father comes to visit, he will notice a difference.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Talk about letting go...
Since my last post, I basically threw everything out the door. Version releases are always bad times and large ones are even worse. Needless to say, I never recovered from the BS. To compound matters, I got a serious dose of allergies and tried to shake it off, but could never get any down time. I need to figure out what to do about that. I need to be able to get some rest. That part is important.
For some reason, I have the weekend blues and that should not be the case. I took a week and half off from work. I hope to get some cleaning done this week. I had plans on getting stuff done during the half week, but work seemed to have other ideas.
Now, I am trying to get my mind back into eating properly. I need to do this for me and I just do not see the motivation to do it. That for me is such a downer. It is a horrible feeling to feel that low. There is so much I can see myself doing, but my energy levels are so low. Maybe I just have left myself get overwhelmed too much. I would hope that is the case. I am trying to take a step back and re-evaluate. Maybe this time off from work will help me figure it out.
For some reason, I have the weekend blues and that should not be the case. I took a week and half off from work. I hope to get some cleaning done this week. I had plans on getting stuff done during the half week, but work seemed to have other ideas.
Now, I am trying to get my mind back into eating properly. I need to do this for me and I just do not see the motivation to do it. That for me is such a downer. It is a horrible feeling to feel that low. There is so much I can see myself doing, but my energy levels are so low. Maybe I just have left myself get overwhelmed too much. I would hope that is the case. I am trying to take a step back and re-evaluate. Maybe this time off from work will help me figure it out.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Gone off the wagon...
It was bound to happen at some point. Work became extremely busy and I totally got wrapped up in that. Been eating really lousy and that is bound to show.
Just going to watch "The Ugly Truth" and try to regroup.
Just going to watch "The Ugly Truth" and try to regroup.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Not feeling too well...
Morning Blood Sugar: 239
Afternoon Blood Sugar: 171
Evening Blood Sugar: 332
Well, I suppose that is what I get for eating pizza. The hand-tossed crust killed my blood sugar numbers.
I spent a better part of my day either napping, as I did not feel well, or sitting in front of the work computer trying to get work done. Tomorrow, I hope to wrap up my "work" stuff by 2 PM, so I can at least relax for the rest of the weekend.
I also made out the plan for getting my remaining credit card debit paid. If I can stick to it, I should get it done within the year. If I can get that gorilla off my back, I might feel better about taking a lower paying job. Actually, it would help me determine the amount of money that is acceptable. It is definitely something I want to get off my back and get that stress out of my life.
I wish and dream that I could win the lottery. That way, I would be able to go back to school. I would love to get my masters. I just cannot see doing it due to all of the other interference.
Time to take the doggies to bed and get some rest.
Afternoon Blood Sugar: 171
Evening Blood Sugar: 332
Well, I suppose that is what I get for eating pizza. The hand-tossed crust killed my blood sugar numbers.
I spent a better part of my day either napping, as I did not feel well, or sitting in front of the work computer trying to get work done. Tomorrow, I hope to wrap up my "work" stuff by 2 PM, so I can at least relax for the rest of the weekend.
I also made out the plan for getting my remaining credit card debit paid. If I can stick to it, I should get it done within the year. If I can get that gorilla off my back, I might feel better about taking a lower paying job. Actually, it would help me determine the amount of money that is acceptable. It is definitely something I want to get off my back and get that stress out of my life.
I wish and dream that I could win the lottery. That way, I would be able to go back to school. I would love to get my masters. I just cannot see doing it due to all of the other interference.
Time to take the doggies to bed and get some rest.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)