Learning About "Take Aways"...

Often, I read a lot of posts regarding being with people who uplift and fill you with positive feelings after you meet.  I have a few friends where I feel that - Random Cathy, Laurie, Sharon, and CAT.  I have one friend where I come away feeling worse than when I showed up for the meeting.  

The situation with this one particular friend is something I need to sort out somehow.  I was mentioning a situation with the neighborhood kids constantly wanting to pet the dogs, especially when they are trying to do #2.  Her comment was that I needed to move out of the complex and into a senior citizen complex.

I really found the suggestion offensive.  First of all, I am not as old as she is.  Second, I am not 65 at this point in my life.  Third, I am simply stating that I really wished that the kids were better behaved.  

I try to respect this friend, but every time I go out with her, I feel worse after the meeting.  I am not energized for anything.  People wonder why I am still friends with her and I feel it has to do with the help she gave to me when I moved to this apartment.  I feel I owe her at least that.  However, I wish she would change her attitude.  A lot of the time, it is that attitude that drags me down.

I am making it a point to try to be more positive.  I do not try to bring up my physical issues when people ask me how I am doing.  For me, it is enough of a hardship to manage, so I feel, there is no sense in discussing it.  It is no one's fault.  Life happens and in my opinion, this is one of God's challenges in my life.  I have to learn to figure out how to fix it and/or deal with it.  

I will admit, I do not necessarily feel this friend listens to what is going on in my life.  Rather than just listening, she wants to be a problem solver.  I do not need that - I just need to vent.  Perhaps, it is best to just not discuss my issues with her.  It is the one things I have learned - it is probably better if I just listen and not try to problem solve unless I am actually asked to help.  Listening is generally all I do when the two of us meet.  

When I visit with my other friends, I always feel energized when I come away.  Sometimes, I feel I probably take up too much of the conversation, so I will try harder not to do that.  But at the same time, I feel these friends know when to just listen and let me vent and when a suggestion is best.  However, none of them make me feel like I am being old or anything like that.  For that, I feel truly blessed.