I finally had my last Sinvisc injection on Monday. My knee remained painful for most of the week. To add insult to injury, my back pain has started to return, thus making it difficult to just walk. When I get an opportunity to walk with little to no pain, I thank God and reflect on how grateful I am.
Next week, I start on physical therapy on my knee for the next 4 to 6 weeks. I am also cracking down on what I eat and making sure I eat properly. I just hope that all of this will come together and help me feel lots better. I would like to be able to walk with no pain and just enjoy life walking the dogs.
This morning, I woke up and felt like I could do a lot. However, when I started walking, my body starts telling my mind "You better think again on that." I try not to drag myself down into that. Last night, I had Chloe barking and griping at me and I just felt the whole weight of the world on my shoulders. I try to do what I can, but I am slow at best and in major pain at the worst. I hate it, but I keep hoping that better days are ahead of me. I just have to weather this storm.
I spend time realizing how much pain my own mother had endured outside of having cancer. I understand more clearly now how someone may look fine on the outside, but actually be suffering in major pain. Sort of like when I went to get my final injection on Monday. While waiting to see my orthopedic for the shot, a gentleman on crutches came into the reception room. Once it was established that he did not need to pay or make another appointment, my father quickly got up and opened the door for the man. Once the man exited with no issues, my father sat down next to me and said "I know how it is when you are on crutches." I smiled and mentioned I remembered those days when I was 3 years old. (Reader's Digest Update: When I was 3 years old, I was riding with my father in his Toyota - only had the car for 2 weeks, when a man who had been drinking plowed into the driver's side of the car. Luckily, my father had a broken hip, but he was in the hospital for a long time and had to be on crutches for recuperation. I say "Luckily" in that nothing worse happened to him).
Now, I understand how debilitating chronic pain can really be. I do wish some people actually got it. I am still asked by some to go out, but I end up doing more walking than I should. When I overdo it, my back and knee will let me know it and I am down for a few days. It gets me down emotionally at the same time. Some times, I feel that this is the rest of my life and, wow, that is a pretty depressing thought.
I have two other issues that have me rather confused. My hands are incredibly dry, so they crack and bleed. Dried out hands, but I also have swollen feet. I know I am carrying around about 10 lbs of water based on the size of my feet right now. I have gone to the doctor and I got water pills, but that did nothing.
Today, I am going to pick up something to help raise my feet up a bit and see if that helps. Right now, I have no idea which move to make to help my feet. Somewhere - this whole situation has to get better.
:(
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