Friendship Relationships...

Last night, I read Big Tea's blog on the work of friendship.  It was interesting how much I understood exactly what he was describing.  My questions are - at what point do you really let go and is it something I am not doing?

For instance, there is one high school friend, (Not you, randomcathy) where we tend to meet for lunch or Starbucks maybe about once a year.  I usually initiate it by sending an email to say "Hello".  During the lunch, there is all of this "We really need to get together more" or "I am having a party this summer and I will invite you."  In the end, invitations are never sent and that person is not heard from unless something is needed from me.

Honestly, this person has not changed much from high school and is probably the reason why I get really frustrated.  This past time, I rejected meeting for lunch or Starbucks during the week.  Mainly because I recently moved work locations and it would be impossible for me to do that.  I am told by this person that more thought would be put into getting together.  That was late September and it is now early December. 

I no longer allow that behavior to upset me.  It was something I tried to explain to my mother while she was undergoing chemo/radiation therapy.  My mom liked this person a lot.  However, I had to remind her that this person only contacted me when needing something.  I was being put in the same position again.  Once we discussed it, she understood how much it hurt my feelings.  I would prefer to just do what is asked, if I can do that, then leave well enough alone. 

I have a similar situation with a cousin living in the same area as myself.  All my life, my relatives have never lived close to me.  When my uncle move to the Dallas/Fort Worth area, again, it was a rarity that families got together.  Currently, his son and family live in the DFW area.  I have reached out a few times to get together more often, but nothing ever happens.  With family, how hard does it have to be to see one another? 

The friendships I have, I hold very dear.  A friend of mine recently had surgery and will have to undergo chemo therapy.  I took her husband and her a lasgna and some bread that I made.  I thought back to how much I would have appreciated that sort of help when mom was sick.  I know my friend is up and walking around, but with all of that hanging over you, it is always nice not to have to worry about something else.

For Thanksgiving, I did spend it alone (well, not alone - I had Bo and Chloe).  I did not mind.  I enjoyed not having the stress of going from one place to another.  I appreciated everyone inviting me to share their Thanksgivings, but I really needed the down time to unwind.

I understand from where Big Tea is coming.  I think he hit the nail on the head.  There has to be lots of give and take in a friendship.  My problem is learning how to really let go and accept the situation as it is.  I think once I figure that out, life might be much easier.