I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I had a good Christmas. I decided to just kick back and reflect on life in general this Christmas. I made some efforts to give a bit more to those who need it. However, rather than get wrapped up in all of the material things, I wanted to concentrate my mind on those non-material things that only *I* can provide to myself.
One of the things that really hit me was that I am always negative when it comes to myself. I do not love myself as I really should. I thought about that. I guess I allowed those nutty people who were rude to me in the past to affect me. Sure, there are some things about myself I would love to change, but those things are exactly was makes me "me."
I have never been happy with my body. Well, I weigh over 300 lbs and it is not something I am proud to say out loud. However, *I* can change that. That is something within my control and I MUST make that effort NO MATTER WHAT! No one else can do it for me. Weight loss surgery is not something I consider lightly and short cuts will only give you issues in the long run. Losing the weight slowly is the best way and I must learn a LOT of patience with losing weight.
Today, I measured my A1C. I purchased some additional blood testing strips as I needed them and I finally broke down and bought the A1C Now Self Check. As of today, my A1C is 8.5. That is not great, but the positive part is that a year ago, my A1C was 13.2, which is horrible! So, I have improved considerably with medication. However, I know I can do better by losing the weight. There is my motivation. I want to see my A1C get to 6.5 and that is my long term goal.
Love. While I really did not get much for Christmas, I realized that there was not anything I really had to have or wanted. So, I was not disappointed with not getting any material things for Christmas. I was able to spend time with my father and that was important. However, I do wish that there was someone who was special for me to spend time.
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