I realized last night that I had been splurging a bit too much lately. As usual, my days off did not go as I had planned. I had planned to do lots of cleaning and get the grocery shopping done early. As usual, life, or whatever you want to call it, intervened and I had to do some things I had not intended. Blah! At least, I have today and tomorrow. If I can make a small dent into the plans I had intended, then I will call myself successful.
The other detail that I had been splurging too much was my blood sugar. Before dinner last night, it was 396, which was unusual. Then, again, not really. I had been eating out a lot and it was catching up with me. What bothered me was that when I had to take the dogs out at 3:30 AM, I checked my blood sugar and it was 185. I could deal with that. I still have not eaten anything at this time and my blood sugar showed 226. Ugh.
Looking at my averages - my blood sugar has been running at about 222 for the past month. Not good. What does it take to get that true slap in the face? The biggest issue is the same. Overeating, eating food that I probably should not, not measuring, and just not moving. This is so silly of me! Of course, the only person who can make this turn around is me.
First, I need to lose weight to feel better and have better health. That is important to me. I have no visions of having a model body. I just want to see the beauty in myself. What makes me pretty and feel that all of the time. Right now, I hate looking at myself in the mirror because I am not happy with what I see. Also, I hate getting my picture made. What I see, I do not like. I want to change myself to be happy with myself. That is the most important. I matter to me.
Second, I do want to lose weight in order to wear some of my clothes. I
also want to lose weight to sit comfortably in my seat at the Dallas
Stars hockey games. Nothing like being able to sit and get up
comfortably. That is important.
Third, I do not want to lose weight for my high school reunion. Accept me as I am or move along. I am over that whole "I have to look like I changed and done well." Really? Does what they think of me really affect me? No. What I think of me affects me.
I will get back to logging my food intake. Measuring and writing everything that I put in my mouth makes me accountable. Back to getting in the swing of using my FitBit. Those that used the FitBit and came back to me with why it did not work for them, I need to get those comments out of my head. Sure, the FitBit is not accurate, but it is a "gauge" for me. It helps me see where I can activity-wise. I will probably measure more on my sleep patterns over time, but with two dogs sleeping in bed with me, I am sure their activity has a lot to do with the bumps in activity for me during sleep.
For me, and no one else, the major key to losing weight has always been a combination of food logging/measuring and exercise. I have to stay true to it. The other part is drinking more water. I have not been drinking more sodas, but I have found myself drinking less water. That needs to change as well. I feel water is the natural flush for anything.
So, I am going to get back up on this horse and work it as hard as I can. Other garbage can take a hike.
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