Thursday, April 30, 2015

When Accepting Hurts...

This Tuesday, Chloe started vomiting right before I took off to my last workout session.  I cleaned up the mess, gave the dogs some treats to distract them, and headed off for my appointment.

Upon my return, I took both dogs out for a walk, then had to get on conference calls for work.  During one of the conference calls, Chloe came close to me and vomited again.  I cleaned that mess up and started to worry about her.  She had gone back over to the chair where she likes to sleep under and looked pretty puny.

During my last conference call, Chloe got up and vomited again.  I had already called her vet to ask what I could do.  Since I had not heard back from either the vet or the tech, I decided to take her on over to the vet.  I was afraid that her gall bladder or pancreas was giving her some fits.

She slept in her car seat for the drive over to the animal hospital.  Right before I arrived, she woke up and vomited in the car seat.  It was not very much, but luckily, I can take off the cover and wash it.

I got her into the hospital and the vets there ran tests.  While listening to her heart, the vet stated that she could hear a murmur.  Then, she progressed by saying that Chloe may have early stages of heart disease.  That really upset me.  Furthermore, she had mild pancreatitis.  
I decided to have Chloe stay there overnight, so that her normal vet would check her.  I was so upset over what had been said.  When the vet taking care of her that night called before leaving and said that she had an enlarged heart, I felt my heart and stomach fall.  It really upset me that night.  I cried and cried because I have to accept the fact that Chloe won't live forever.  I know I am getting borrowed time with her.  I know I am not ready for her to move on to the next plane, but I need to accept some facts.  Chloe is not getting younger.

Yesterday, Chloe's vet called me and told me that all was well.  In regard to her heart, she said that it was fine.  She was concerned about the increased liver level when the blood test was done.  However, that could be helped by increasing a dosage of a medication she was already taking. 

I felt better after talking with Chloe's regular doctor.  However, I realized how much I really love and care about that little dog.  She is the world to me as is Bo.  I am not sure what I will do when both pass away - I know I will be terribly torn up about it.  

Most people tell me I should get another dog.  I just cannot think about doing that.  For one, I need to take some time and do some thing that I would like to do, but won't because I have the dogs.  Still, I am willing to wait a while before any of that is to occur.  I want to be able to enjoy having them here and being able to play and love them as much as I can now.

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