I did something that many may consider a little stupid. Sometimes, I do the stupid things to make myself feel better, or at least, try to feel better. I realize I moan and groan about my back issues. I just get tired of being in pain all of the time. However, I also realize that some people have it worse off than myself.
I was reminded of that today, so that was why I did something pretty stupid.
Back in 2009, I friended a group of women who I knew when I attended Kiroli Elementary in West Monroe, LA. I was bullied a lot there, but I also had a lot of friends who stood up for me. One girl had left pretty nasty bruises on both my arms from hitting me all of the time. When I got in touch with her years later via Classmates.com, she apologized to me for being so mean and how much she had liked me. Odd - when I had to leave and move to Texas, that first year in 7th grade, I lost quite a bit of weight. When I ran in the gym and almost caught up to one of the fast basketball girls, I remembered hearing one of them say "Man, she is fast for a fat girl." I thought my friend would have been proud because she was the athletic type - always playing softball and such. I envied her for her ability and was always sad of my lack.
Anyway, I came across another friend. She was nice to me. She was one of the pretty girls I knew in elementary school - she was popular. I guess when I left, I had no idea how the junior high and high school I would have attended changed people. Today, this particular girl looks like she has been through a lot in her life. Other elementary school friends mentioned that she got involved with the wrong people and so forth. I think we all know people that we cared about that have gone through that ordeal.
My friend continues to have a difficult life. She works hard, but deals with so much. Not too long ago, she found someone, fell in love, and they got married. I was very happy for her. Seemed like her life was taking a better turn for her. Then, the bottom dropped.
She started having a lot of medical issues. Come to find out, she has stage 4-5 liver cirrohsis (my spelling sucks - sorry). She lost her job, now, she has issues with her husband, who has kicked her out of their home.
I have been sitting here dealing with my mom and the ever bubbling up of issues there as well as crap with work. Here, I have a friend who probably feels like she is drowning and needs help. She had set up a GoFundMe account and I contributed a bit more money than I should have. Not because it is just lying around, but I truly felt for her and maybe, in some way, I can lighten her load.
There are plenty of people who need money to help get by in this life. A lot of the time, I just do not have it to contribute. This time, I have some and my friend is in a world of hurt. I might be taken advantage of with this, but this is on my terms. I gave to her what I could, but I probably won't be able to do so next time. So my prayers for her is to use the money wisely to get back on her feet, find a safe place to stay, and try to sort out going on the right path.
I should feel good, but I don't and I am not sure why. That is where my problem lies. I did what I was supposed to do - give with no strings attached - no expectations. Maybe I would have felt better if I lived in Louisiana and could have provided her a place to stay and so forth. I don't know.
All I know is what I said and I truly believe this - I just wanted to help her get back on her feet a bit. Life has been hard for her. Maybe for what little time she has left, she might be able to ease her mind of her worries. I just hope I was able to make a difference.
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