Seems like doctor's visits, work, and life with the dogs keeps my life going round and round in this rut. Last week, I had a procedure done on my back to see if I qualified for another procedure to help reduce/alleviate the chronic pain. I did not realize it at the time, but the medication was only to last for 2 hours. I laugh because I got very little, if any, relief. Massive disappointment that this did not work. Back specialist believes that this could be a fluke, so I have to have it done again, but with a different medication.
I am already a wreck with the OB-GYN suggesting that I get a uterine biopsy to make sure I do not have a cancerous or pre-cancerous uterus. One night, I just sat down and cried because I do not know why this is happening or what I could have done to prevent it.
My apartment is simply a reflection on how my life is right now - pure chaos. I am always putting someone or something before what the real needs are. When I get time to myself, I tend to abuse that by doing nothing but think about "Well, this would be really cool, if I could do ..." Part of me should get up to do it and the other part of me thinks about the resulting back pain. What a huge deterrent.
I need to keep telling myself that I must be able to weather the storm. When all is said and done, life will be better. In the meantime, I have to make some efforts. I have started trying not to eat quite so much as well as making sure I eat better foods. Some times, that does not always go my way, but I am making an effort.
I am trying to drink more water and lay off the diet sodas. Sometimes, I really want a diet Dr. Pepper, but I have to remind myself of the sodium content. That tends to stink, but I do put in some water flavoring to help with drinking more water. Many of those have 0 calories, so that helps.
I hope that the water intake will help flush out the water that my body has been retaining. I am starting to see a difference with my feet. Still, my feet hurt and that worries me. I would like for my feet to feel better. I have some extra wide calf compression socks that I wear. It is sort of funny. I used to wear tons of knee-high socks when I was in elementary school. Now, I am back doing it and I got some pretty colorful socks to wear. At least, the compression socks make my feet and legs feel better. The socks also help with cutting back on the swelling. That is a bonus.
I have some really great ideas for the apartment. I just need to work on those and pray I can pull it all together. I need space, but more importantly, I want to be able to have less weighing on my mind. Also, work on my Feng Shui for personal improvement on my happiness. The unfortunate part is that there are other needs, such as grocery shopping, that wear me out before I can do anything.
Perhaps, I will take some of this long weekend, Labor Day, to evaluate how to make all of these pieces fit together. I have grown tired of the pain every day. I would like to get to that place of peace and be able to really enjoy life.
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