Quite honestly, I cannot remember the last time I had endured such a hellish week, or for that matter, a freaking couple of months. As I was walking Bo at one point, I thought about how tired I was and so forth. I am supposed to be relaxing from work, but yet, I am here and there.
So, on Tuesday, I went to see my ob-gyn to get the results from the D&C and do some post-op evaluation. I was told I did NOT have cancer. However, I am one step from having it. That being said, having the IUD inserted may help with increasing the progesterone levels and alleviate the thickening of the uterine lining. My ob-gyn referred me to a gynecological oncologist to get "next steps". When I got home, I called his office to get an appointment and I was able to get in today at 2 PM. It was simply luck to get into his office this early.
I was told to be there 30 minutes early as I was a new patient. I got access to a portal and was asked to fill out the "new patient packet", which I did. I got to the doctor's office at 1:30, but had some issues with getting a parking space and the valet parking was simply a joke. I found a spot a ways away, but you do what you gotta do, right?
I am early, but when I come into the office, there is hardly anyone in there. I submit my paper work and hand over the test results and photos taken from my ob-gyn. I have to fill out another sheet, but another woman comes in after me. Next, more people arrive, sign in, and sit in the rather warm waiting room. These people that came in after me were being asked to go back while I sat and waited. I won't deny that it really started to piss me off to sit there and wait like that for over an hour.
Around 2:30, I am asked to enter. I get my weight, blood pressure, and so forth. Next, I am sent to a room with a desk and chairs. I am told that he will be seeing me shortly. Shortly becomes about 45 minutes later. Here I am trying to be more attentive as this is important to me, but I cannot help but sit there and look at my phone while I wait.
When the doctor finally arrives in the room, he sits down and starts talking about the fact that I do not have cancer, but due to the history, he would suggest a hysterectomy, but leave the ovaries. By the way, he would also suggest that I get a gastric sleeve for weight loss at the same time. His reasoning was that due to my weight, the fat produces estrogen that causes the normal levels to be high, thus causing this issue.
While discussing with the doctor, I make the statement that my ob-gyn has inserted a hormonal IUD to help with the shedding of the uterine lining. He looks at me surprised and says "Brilliant! You are already being properly treated! The IUD would bring the progesterone levels up to match the estrogen, so that should help." His suggestion was to see my ob-gyn to get a 3-6 month ultrasound of my uterus to confirm if the IUD was correcting the issue. However, he continued to go on about the gastric sleeve. He even went as far as to say that he had a small group of surgeons that he worked with that were not in it for the "money making" aspect.
Okay - I am not really comfortable with this. I am already seeing a dietician and a counselor about weight loss. I have lost some weight and kept it off already, but either way, I am not going to lose this weight overnight.
I struggled with all of this. Mainly because I do not wish to get weight loss surgery. I would rather make good habits stick. I got angry after communicating this to someone who in return tells me that I need to cut out candy and cakes and such. I thought of how callous that sounded considering what I had already done for myself in a recent situation. I brought foods that I could eat to avoid eating the crap that was put out for eating. I thought I did very well considering all of the starchy food that was presented for the holidays. It angers me to no end.
This doctor tells me to get a gastric sleeve and earlier this month, at the company holiday party, I have some woman telling me about getting a gastric sleeve. All the while, my PCP, dietician, and counselor are telling me that I should not go that route - it would only cause complications in the end.
I so wish my mother was here. I hate all of this!!! It is not that she would coddle me, but tell me what I need to hear - the voice of reason. I feel that my gut is telling me - "Look - you can do this! I know it has been a really rough year, but do not feel pushed into doing something that does not feel right. You are not feeling that this is a good option - listen to what I am telling you. You can lose the weight - I know you can, but do not go down this road. Once you do, there is no going back."
My gut tells me that the minute that this man looked at me, he immediately went for the weight. He never took anything else into account - nothing. That bothers me. That is why my gut is telling me - "Back away - you can do this and you are doing good work on eating properly. You just need to work harder and that was what we planned to do. Do not let someone goad you into something because that is what they think."
So, tonight, I am going to just pray and hope that I get something from that. My initial thoughts were let's see what happens in 3-6 months. In the mean time, work on the weight loss the right way. I can do it and with the right backing, I can make it stick.
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