For the most part, I have had a really shitty month. I am still awaiting the test results from the D&C performed on me last week. I get the cramps from time to time. My back still causes me a great deal of pain on the left side. That procedure was done 2 weeks ago. I suppose that the left side was more aggravated than the right side.
Chloe's death hit me like a huge brick wall. Granted, I knew it was coming, but I thought I had more time with her. I suppose that was not in the plan. I miss her so much. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night thinking I heard her yap for water. I raise up to find that she is not there.
Today, the little girls in the neighborhood noticed that Chloe was not with Bo and me on our walk. I had to tell them that she passed away on Saturday. They were shocked and upset. One girl was telling another girl as they walked away about how sweet Chloe was - she was the best dog ever. I cried because she was a wonderful girl and it touched me how beloved she was to these kids. They asked me if there would be a funeral. I might try to set up a small memorial for them. I know that sounds crazy, but they all wanted to see her. Now, that will be a problem. I really do not want to take her box out there and have them begging me to open the box to see inside of it. I would prefer to leave well enough alone. I am in search for a frame that will enclose the paw print and a photo as well as a poster board that has the ribbons across it. I will use the poster board to put various pictures of Chloe from her puppy years to more recent photos. Use that as her memorial tribute.
The unfortunate part was a really shitty incident at work. I went for the yearly holiday party. There, I was approached by someone to discuss me getting a gastric sleeve. I hardly know this person. To make the situation worse, this person was asked to talk to me about getting one by someone else, who I do know, a few years ago.
Lap bands, gastric sleeves, gastric by-passes have all proven to help those people lose weight. However, one must be in the right frame of mind or have worked out all issues that trigger their overeating. Otherwise, what doctors are finding is that people getting the surgery as a quick weight-loss fix are gaining the weight back and then some. I even pointed this out to this person and she refused to believe it. Her response was "You cannot possibly overeat - you would just throw it back up."
So, she has been successful in keeping 90 lbs off her frame for 3 years. Congrats! Another co-worker I know has the lap-band and has been successful keeping off over 130 lbs. However, having worked with him so closely, I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. I was there when he could not enjoy pasta, bread, or meat - it was not a pretty sight. Also, when you get these surgeries, you have to make sure you take the vitamins that your body can no longer absorb.
The other thing I have seen with my friend with the lap-band, he still eats crap. He eats tons of sweets. When he starts gaining weight, he just goes back in for another fill.
The way I see it, most of these surgeries require you to lose 40 lbs before they will operate. My thought - if you can lose 40 lbs, you can lose more on your own. You do not need surgery. You need help determining why you return to bad habits/triggers.
My previous PCP suggested I work with a dietician and a counselor to help with my weight loss. It was obvious that I can lose weight, but I have anxiety issues. Of course, this person with the gastric sleeve asks me what medication I am on for it. I am working it out without chemicals - maybe that might help her lose the other 20 lbs she wants to lose?!
I am appalled by both individuals. The one with the gastric sleeve - I want to ask what triggered her to say anything at all to me if she was asked to have this talk with me a few years ago? I mean, it was not like I built up a this huge plate of food and went back for seconds, thirds, and so forth. I can only assume because I mentioned medical issues. Had she listened to what I told people, I have a degenerative disc. The problem came about when I had lost 35 lbs.
The other individual - well, I only chalk that up to that person's poor manners. Same person was giving me some grief about not being in the office. My boss knows I am working from home and that is the only person that matters. If this person was so concerned for my health, how about getting to know me better than sitting in the office and giving the excuse that you are too busy.
You know, one should not offer unsolicited advice to people you do not know or even know just a little. It is rude. You have no clue what that person is experiencing or even their past. To even suggest an operation that helped one person, that may not work for another.
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