Moments of Clarity and Creativity...

I have taken some time to evaluate some of the decisions I have made regarding this year's theme - Remake/Remodel.  For a month, I have not been exercising as much as I should and definitely not drinking as much water as I was.  Why?  Not really sure.  Just one of those things where it just has not happened.  I still go and see my personal trainer.  She is incredibly helpful and I have noticed that I am getting a bit stronger, so that is important.

In the larger scheme of things, deciding NOT to have weight loss surgery is probably the best thing I could do for myself.  For some people, it seems to work out great for them.  On others, they lose weight and only have the lost weight and more weight return.  Who is really to say what would work for me, but I think I have proven that if I put my mind to it, I can lose the weight by simply reducing what I eat and exercising.  It has always been key to any weight loss I have done.  I just need to make sure I get that focus back into sight.

I am rather behind in my writing course as well.  I skipped one assignment last week because there was just not enough time for everything that needed to be done.  Tonight, I had to write a creative piece.  It was only a paragraph, but somewhere in my head, I was able to produce something and get it on "paper".  I would not call it my greatest piece of work, but it was an honest piece of work.  I wrote a paragraph that needed to include car keys, foot doctor, and thunderstorm.  I wrote about how I am the "Queen of Misplaced Items."  How appropriate!  Basically, how I tried to locate missing car keys in order to get to a doctor's appointment before the thunderstorm hit.  LOL  I wrote it in about 10 minutes and submitted it. 

I might have something - I may actually have a creative side which I never knew I had.  I tried art, but if anyone had seen the stupid skeleton drawing I did in 8th grade - they will remember the really large head and torso, then the shrunken legs because I ran out of paper space.  So, the poor chap was handicapped in my drawing?!

Doggy Love - Tonight, nothing warmed my heart more than what happened when I returned home from my session with the trainer.  Bo is getting a drink from the water bowl and I stood there laughing while I said "Who loves his momma?"  Every time I said it, his tail would wag.  It was so funny, but very sweet.  Chloe shows her affection by getting me to sit on the sofa and wrap my arm around her. 

I am very worried for Chloe.  Her blood work results for the past few months have shown her liver values are increasing and, now, are currently off the chart.  The value top end is 500 and her latest blood work shows 2400+.  Last week, the vet pulled more blood samples to help figure out what is wrong with her or have a better idea of what the issue could be.  What bothered me the most is that she is not showing any signs of pain, excessive eating/drinking and etc.  She is not fond of the new dog food, but definitely wants her braunsweigner, french fries, rolls, tortilla chips, potato chips, and etc.  Losing her will be like losing the last thing dear to my mother.  I know I am living on borrowed time with Chloe, but it is just hard thinking of something horrible going on within her while she acts like nothing is wrong.

God's Message to Me Today:

there is an ebb and flow to this life.

Trust this peaceful rhythm. If there were constant flow, we would drown in the intensity. Ebb is as necessary as flow.