Last night, I simply could not sleep and was terribly miserable. Physical aches and pains, emotional aches and pains. Even total quiet could not turn off what all was rattling around in my mind. When I would finally drop off, something would happen such as the smoke alarm briefly going off for no reason (that I know of a this time).
This morning, I lingered in bed trying to figure out the source of my pain and how to prevent it or, at least, lessen it. Then, I got a phone call.
A friend I have known for about 20 years called. She is in the hospital due to having had a possible heart attack. She has had so many burdens in her life the past several years. Seems that all of that stress finally built up and her heart could not take it anymore. She is in good spirit, but I can hear how broken she is over the phone.
She and I have a common problem - chaos. While listening to her describe all that was building up around her, I realized where my pain was coming and it was from the same place - chaos.
People have written so many books about living and embracing chaos, but is it really healthy for you to have too much? No, it is not. After awhile, you are just looking for an escape. While I see a little chaos as being a norm, a lot of chaos can probably kill you.
I feel for my dear friend and hope that her plans to whittle down the chaos around her will help. Nothing is worth risking your life.
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