Still Saddened By David Bowie's Passing...

I cannot even understand it myself.  I talk to other people and they seem to feel the same.  Even though I hardly knew this man or he even knew me, his death feels like a large hole has been opened up in my life.

I tried to reconcile these emotions to the fact that the anniversary of my own mother's passing was not too long ago.  Also, the two of them would have been the same age.  Furthermore, both died of some form of cancer - from what I have read, David suffered from liver cancer. 

Also, my own hormones are in an uproar along with rather high blood sugar readings.  Still, I read so many people posting their memories/pictures/thoughts on David Bowie, then the waterworks start up all over again.

I realize that David Bowie spent some of his final months in the studio to create Blackstar for the fans.  I would like to think that he also worked out all of those emotions regarding death on this record.  I think that is what makes Blackstar extremely special.  From the title song and "Lazarus", both are rather dark song and when you understand this other layer, the fact that he knew his time was near, it adds something very special.

For me, David could have spent that time with his family and so forth while he could.  However, he spent time in the studio getting these "feelings" or songs out in the open.  So, when I think of it like that, it does make me very sad, yet, full of gratitude.

Last night, I pulled out the song "Everyone Says 'Hi'" and simply thought - He is up there and telling us all that.

I feel that many of us felt that David Bowie would never pass away - he would live forever.  However, like Jimmy Stewart was to our parents and grand parents, David Bowie was that person who highlighted your life in every decade, if not every year.

As I sat here last night, I thought about the first time I ever heard "Space Oddity" and I was really young.  David Bowie was one of the cast of characters I grew up with in my life.  No matter how old the song was, I was able to relate to it and felt that he understood.  He shall forever be young and his work will live through all of us forever.

David Bowie's physical presence may no longer be here, but his heart and soul still live.