Trouble With Letting Go...

This week has been an interesting one.  I found moments where I experienced a situation that really upset me and I had a difficult time "letting it go."  I mean, there is not really anything I am doing wrong, but it is just my anxiety getting the better of me.
  
I really do not appreciate it when people bully me because they think that they can.  It really makes me angry.  I was accused of arguing when all I was doing was stating the fact.  What ends up happening is that this guy goes and apologizes to some other manager, rather than calling me and apologizing.  As a former team lead told me, some things never change.

It really bothered me.  I had consulted my manager on the issue.  This was not totally my decision and money has to come from somewhere to do work.  I do not have the authority to approve everything.  Furthermore, my manager had agreed with me and I am totally okay with him overriding me.  That is why he is there.  

Still, I cannot shake how that person decided to bully me over the phone in front of everyone else on the call.  The conversation could have taken place off-line, but this person chose not to do that.  Then, to add insult to injury, this person contacts someone else, who never even attends these calls, and apologizes to him, not me.  Wow!

Yesterday, I went for an ultrasound of my kidneys and bladder.  The last time I had an ultrasound was over 20 years ago for my gall bladder.  The women who did the sonogram for my gall bladder told me to make sure to get those stones removed.  This time around, the woman doing the sonogram was not saying much.  I cannot help but worry, even though I know that there is nothing I can do.  

This was a lot like when I had my colonoscopy.  I worried and prayed so much that the doctor would not find anything.  Just like now, I would cry ever so often thinking of my mom and what she had been through when she was sick.  My blood pressure was sky high due to my nerves and stress over the situation.  The nurse taking my blood pressure told me that I should calm down as it was all in God's hands.  No amount of worrying was going to change anything and just taking comfort in that.

I am trying to do that now.  It is difficult for me because I always like to be somewhat prepared.  How to handle it all and what if Plan A is not a good idea, I had a Plan B and/or C.

If it is to be, then it is to be.  There is not anything I can change right now.  I can just keep trying to make the best choices for me, try to eat well, and continue to work on losing weight.

I guess I just need to keep telling myself to leave it to God and let him handle it.