Before anyone tells me to go see a doctor, I already have an appointment. However, that does not stop the debilitating back pain. Yesterday, I stood in the kitchen to make breakfast and that was a true chore. My back was seriously killing me and taking the shower afterwards was a literal hell.
I pray that the doctor on Wednesday can see what the issue is with my back. All of this pain really depresses me because I cannot do the things I really would like to do.
The times where I can walk with no pain, I do not take them for granted anymore. I treasure those times and try to search for what I can do to enjoy more time without pain. I kid you not. I feel bad for the dogs because I have to cut their walks short due to the pain.
When my knee was acting up along with my back, people could understand I was in pain. It looked like I was in a lot of pain. Now, I do not think people notice it as much. Well, I have one friend who makes no notice at all, even when my knee was in bad shape. I rode in her car and we had to walk a distance before we got to the restaurant. I did not say anything because it would have made no difference to her. As long as it is not her pain, she sees nothing. I think when I had the knee pain, I could meet her places in my car, but that was about it.
Some days, it is difficult to keep up the smile on my face and act like everything is okay. Today, the back pain was so bad, I finally ended up back in bed and fell asleep. When I woke up, my back pain was still there. The dogs got an even shorter walk than normal. I hate that, but hoping that they will be happy to go for a ride with me.
That is another thing - shopping. I cannot make all the rounds that I used to do. I have to do them on separate days. Otherwise, I pay for it with really sharp back pains that make me bend forward like a little old lady. I can never stand straight.
I really wish I understood what happened to my back in June 2014. Whatever it was has really caused me a lot of grief for the past 1.5 years. My hope is that on Wednesday, I will find out more. I pray that the solution will be easy.
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