Week 5 - Still Going Strong...

According to the FitBit web site, I have lost another 2.8 lbs this week.  Yay!  *Happy Dance!*  Tonight, I made my 10,000 step goal before 10 PM and that is great!

I have had a few days where I felt down about everything.  Mainly, that is where I have a lot of self-doubt.  Tonight, I went to get my hair cut.  My stylist had never seen me with make up and she kept going on about how pretty I was.  The sad part is that when I look at myself, I just do not see it.  Maybe that is from all of the years of being told I was "fat and ugly." It is not something one likes to keep in their head, but it is there.

I guess I see the point Alison Moyet and Dawn French have made.  Both women lost a large amount of weight and not through weight loss surgery.  However, so much attention has been showered upon them for losing the weight, but they are no different than they previously were.  Their attitudes and such never changed - just their physical selves.  It seems pretty sad that people tend to not see that side.  I have always admired both women since I was in high school.  Great that they lost the weight, but it was because they wanted to do it for the same reasons I am doing it - for health.

Sometimes, I get scared of losing sight of why I am doing all of this.  I made that mistake so many times and I allowed the weight to come back with vengence.  It is not something I want to happen again.  I want to be able to do more things.

I reflected back to last weekend.  I was in Fort Worth and remembered that it was the Stockshow.  I remembered when my BFF since my early college years and I went to the rodeo there.  We were talking last night and I told her how much I really want to go back for the Stockshow.  I always had fun.  Then, we talked about once I lose 50+ lbs.  I would love for her to take her weekend off and we head off to Six Flags.  Again, remembering the early days when we used to hang out together and go spend the day there.  It would be great to ride the roller coasters and such again.  It has been so long and that would be such a blast to do it again.  I would consider that my next big goal - lose enough to head off to Six Flags for the day.

I would like to note that when I set up the rewards for these goals, none are really food related.  The rewards are those things I have either yet to do or have not done in eons.  It is all part of enjoying life and celebrating those obstacles I have managed to get past.  Maybe, I might be able to see the pretty swan I imagine I am in my head.

Today, Melissa, we believe God wants you to know that ...

you haven’t opened all your gifts yet.

Your life can be deeper than the ocean, larger than the sky and richer than all the minerals in the earth. You have so much potential. Do everything you dream of. Keep discovering yourself.

That is what my plan is this year and for the future.  I believe there is a lot more there than even I believe.