Wishing...

I have completely blown this day off due to some rather disturbing news and version release for the weekend.  I am emotionally miserable.  I did manage to handle getting some Tex-Mex and only ate half of that because I was full pretty quickly.

Bo and Chloe's vet called and told me that Chloe's recent blood work showed that her liver values are off the charts.  The vet wants to do another test as well as get both dogs teeth cleaned.  March 3rd, both dogs go back to the vet.  However, I am troubled by Chloe's issues.  I have been giving her the medications as prescribed.  The liver value bothers me because there is a possibility of her blowing out either her kidneys or liver.  I know Chloe is an older dog, but I am not sure I can handle her passing away just yet.  I know there is never any good or convenient time.  Still, it saddens me deeply to think of losing her.

I spent most of the day lying in bed with her.  Just trying to spend more time with the poochie that loves to cuddle up next to me.  From the outside, she shows no signs of any issues.  Heck, while walking her tonight, she chased some animal she saw in the bushes.

I am trying to hand over my worries to God.  Unfortunately, that is not my only worry.  I need to get over some stupid thing I have running about in my head.  It has had me messed up for weeks.  I need to concentrate and I just cannot seem to do it.

Today, I had no will to focus.  Never in my life has my horoscope been this true - it actually told me that I would not be able to concentrate.  Do not even bother with trying to read or anything - it won't hold me still.  That has been so true.  I could not even concentrate on writing further on my book.

Today, I *finally* dropped a pound.  I have 0.5 lbs left before I reach my mini-goal of 286.2.  After I reach that goal, I will reset my weight loss goal to 280.0.  Now, the numbers will be even and make sense.  Being stalled on my weight loss has troubled me quite a bit.  I know it should not because I watched my BMI drop.  My clothes are fitting loose, so I can feel the change.  Still, nothing is more frustrating than not seeing the weight number change.

The other night, I went to the reunion planning meeting.  One of the guys from my class had suggested meeting at The Reservoir in FTW.  It is a very nice place.  He was buying drinks for some of his workers.  One worker was awfully nice and bit flirty.  That made me feel good.  I wish I had experienced more of that when I was younger.  I might be able to recognize when someone is being *real* vs *fake*.  Most of the time, I blow men off when they do that because I cannot believe that they would even attempt that with me.  I figure I am definitely a head case.

Today's Message From God to Me:

Today, we believe God wants you to know that ...

you always have one last resort.

When nothing else works, surrender to God, and let your faith carry you through.

I certainly hope that God is listening.