I have reached 287.5 on the scale. That is a far cry from the 314.2 back on January 6th. As of late, I make it a point to hit my 10,000 step goal each day. At least, with that goal in mind, I feel that I am achieving more activity in my life.
I am gaining more perspective in the portion control area. I probably should have had my shake for lunch yesterday, but I went to Genghis Grill with some work friends. I ordered the small bowl for lunch and had cabbage instead of any kind of rice. I felt full after lunch and I did enjoy it. I do find myself still "inhaling" food at times. I really need to focus on that and slow it. I need to learn to savor the meal, rather than "woofing" it down. I guess we all feel we have to do things quickly in order to get them done and move onto the other things. I have heard that it should take you 20 to 30 minutes to eat your meals. With that in mind, you won't eat as much and your body lets you know when you have had enough.
Next week, I start to eat regular, healthy meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I hope that I can sustain the weight loss train. I try to keep my calories down and eat healthy meals as much as I can. Unfortunately, I am going to really have to tell one friend of mine that I can no longer go out to eat with her. Last night, she got angry when I did not eat more of the peanut butter ice box pie. Come on! I am trying to lose weight here and I had 5 to 6 bites. I am not going to eat the whole thing - that is all that there is to that! I am determined to get this weight off of me and if you want dessert, then you eat it! It just really chaps my hide.
Today, I have already walked in place for 45 minutes. My legs are a bit tired, but it is a good tired - not one of pain or strain. I checked the FitBit and I have already reached 6,630 steps and it is BEFORE 6 PM!!! For me, during the week, it is so difficult to get those steps done before 10 PM. Last night, I did make my 10,000 step goal before 11 PM, but as soon as I got home from dinner and walking the dogs, I was in the living room pounding out the floor in front of the TV.
One thing I like about having gotten a majority of my steps in for the day, I can rest a bit. I do not have this feeling of "You have to get your steps done or you won't lose any weight! You don't want to be fat and ugly all your life, do you?" Now, it is "Good for you! Now, make sure you drink plenty of water and find something healthy to eat".
A Moment of Self-Guessing...
The other day, I went to see a new doctor - an OB-GYN. I was concerned about something and I thought it would be best to get someone other than my GP to look into it. As I sat in the waiting room, I saw all of these women who were pregnant or had small children coming in and out of the office. I began to think about my life. Did I make the right choices for myself? Why was I so alone? Will there ever be a man for me? Would I ever find a true love?
I have always said I would never have a child without a father. Parenting is such a difficult task and doing it alone would be crazy. Do not get me wrong - I have high praise for those men and women who have had to raise children by themselves. God gave those people more patience and understanding that I only wish I had. For me, if I were to find the man of my dreams - the right man - and I felt I could still have a healthy child, I probably would do it as long as we both were secure that it was the right thing to do.
Right now, I know my life is truly chaotic. That is not an atmosphere for bringing others into it, especially a child. My dogs manage dealing with me, but I appreciate them more than they will ever know. Right now, they are my "children" and I love them very much. I also know that my dogs are my protectors and that humbles me to no end. They may be small, but they want to protect me. I appreciate that. Of course, I have always said - you hurt my dogs, I will kill you. Most parents feel the same about their children. I would say the feeling is mutual.
Back to my update:
I have lost 26.7 lbs to date. I have about 1.3 lbs to lose before hitting my current small term goal. Medium goal is 60 lbs by May - Celebration - Go to Six Flags and spend the day riding rides. Definitely means a lot of walking! I will do this because I really want to go to Six Flags! I will probably make another medium goal to go back there again in September - maybe I will be 90 lbs lighter at that point. I hope to be in better shape than I started. Also, I will celebrate 2014-2015 hockey season with two new jerseys that will be much smaller!
I need to work on getting my passport. I would like to make my ultimate reward for reaching the big goal a trip to England.
In the meantime, I am going to stay positive and make these miracles happen for me. I need the change!
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