I met with my friend on Saturday morning and I was given quite a surprise. Rather than suggesting some activities to help me build muscle, it was all about what I should be eating. Anyone who knows me, I do not quite get my mind to functioning properly until a bit later in the day or if I am put into shock, it is not until I walk away and think about what was said that I start seeing issues.
I saw issues. First, I am on a diet that my doctors and diabetes educators have recommended I follow. My friend's recommended diet change meant a lot of food - primarily composed of tons of protein and some carbs. Once again, I was met with some "no" this or that - milk, alcohol, and baked goods. I could eat as much raw onion, garlic, and honey as I wanted. Also, I needed to consume 2 gallons of water.
As I drove home, I felt so conflicted. As of yesterday, I have lost a total of 20 lbs. I am working on my portion control because to me, making that change and being active makes more sense. It allows me to have that occasional cookie or what have you without the feeling of total guilt. Here, I am told no milk, but I can have yogurt for one of my snacks. Seems like a contradiction. I get the whole concept regarding cow's milk and what have you, but at the same time, yogurt is also a product of cow's milk.
What bothered me - no discussion regarding fruits. Raisins are dried grapes and the various companies that make them also put sugar on them to make them a bit sweeter. So, what about apples, pears, oranges, regular grapes, pineapple, and etc.?
The diet would be fabulous for someone bulking up, but I am worried that too much protein will shutdown my kidneys. Remember, I still have type 2 diabetes.
The one thing I cannot say is that what I have been doing is not successful. As embarrassed as I am to say this, I was actually able to fasten the seat belt in a co-worker's Jeep the other day. Jeep just does not make a long enough seat belt, but other car companies do. So, when my co-worker noticed that, he thought that was great - I was doing it.
Another co-worker and I were talking about the weight loss. She has called it "Melissa's Disappearing Campaign". Everyone is going to see me slowly disappear, but that is a good thing. I thought it was funny.
Overall, my friend on Saturday was really encouraging and he felt awful that he had not been able to help another former classmate before he passed away. For that classmate, he had forgotten he had already taken his heart condition medication, so he ended up overdosing. It was truly sad because he was a truly sweet and crazy guy.
All of my friends have been extremely encouraging during all of this. As my co-worker friend made the comment, I haven't been psycho in quite some time. In fact, he had difficulty remembering the last time I was off the rails in his opinion. I always laugh about that - I am not psycho, I was paranoid and that was due to the high blood sugar. It was an awful time. Now, I try not to let things that are out of my control get the better of me. I do what I can and after that, it is what it is. That is all any of us can do. Being a control freak is overrated - too much drama. I would rather leave that crap for TV - that is why actors are paid so much.
I feel guilty for asking this friend for help, then upon examination of what he tells me, I really do not feel that it is right for me. I feel I did not get the sort of help I really wanted, but that is not his fault. He has this formulation that works for many people. I simply was looking for what I could do to help my activity level.
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