Friday, I went to my PCP to get my 3 month blood check up. My PCP is more concerned about the creatine levels in my system. I just got my results this afternoon and it seems that I need to see a kidney specialist.
That scares me. Anyone that knows me knows that think the very worst of a situation. Here I sit wish my mother was alive. I tried to contact my father twice and no answer. I tried to call other family members, but no answer, either.
Where I felt the worse, I reached out to someone in worse shape than myself. I reached out to my friend who has bone, liver, and other cancers throughout her system. She has a limited time on this plane of existence. At this point, she is fighting with all of her might. She stays busy by rescuing cats/kittens from kill shelters and helping them find homes or fosters. I admire her greatly for her tenacity to keep going and doing what she knows is the right thing. Her doctors say she has another year or so left. I hope she lives much longer than that.
She helped me to feel better about my situation. I teared up and cried a bit. Still, I am a bit scared about everything. I hate all of this. It just makes me crazy, but what makes me more crazy is not having my mom here to help me get through this. It is times like these where I feel more alone in this world than anything else. I would give anything in the world for my mom to be here - she would help make me feel better about all of this. I thank my friend for listening to me and trying to make me feel better. She is so much stronger than I am and I realize it every day. Not sure what I will do when she passes away - that is why I want her to outlive all of the timelines her doctors give to her. She is needed in this world.
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