What is it that I want for Christmas this year? Peace and quiet. All homeless animals and people are able to find a home. All of those people who have been searching for a new job are able to get one. No more fighting and wars - political and religious.
There are so many things I would love to have for myself, but no one can buy those things. The price is too great or there can be no value put. Christmas is just not the same anymore. There is so much sadness. One person found that he owes a great deal of money to a home that his mother is staying. Another person is about to lose his bed and wheelchair. One other person is fighting a battle to keep his home as he has cancer and the prognosis for recovery is not good.
Since the middle of November, I have heard of people losing loved ones. This time of the year is heart wrenching, when it should be filled with cheer and joy. And then, everything I experienced with my own mother dying comes rushing back to me. I understand others sadness and pain. However, I try to muster the smile and move forward.
I wish I was better emotionally and physically. I try working at getting the apartment sorted out, but with the confirmed knee problem, that is a daily struggle. I have thought of dropping my membership at the YMCA, but suddenly, I think it would be good for me to go and ride the bike. I really cannot walk, but I can peddle a bike. Not sure an elliptical would be a good idea for me, but I can always ask. I need some activity in my life. I need to get the weight off of this frame.
In the meantime, I really do not want anything for Christmas. I either already have it or it is buried in the clutter. No point in adding to it. As I said, I would like to be better emotionally and physically. Perhaps, that is in store for me in the new year. I would like to get a house. I would love for Chloe to have a backyard to run about before she passes away. At least, I would feel I had accomplished something for her and Bo.
Rather than being in a Christmas Rush, I want to take it slow and just enjoy the time. I hope to be off on vacation on Tuesday. On Thursday, I want to go to Whole Foods and pick up a prime rib roast. I may not get to cook it on Friday, but I can cook it on Sunday. I will fix homemade rolls, mashed potatoes/baked potato, and asparagus. I also want to make a cheesecake. I just want to have my Christmas dinner as I would like. It is not much and it would mean something to me. I did not get a chance to make my own Thanksgiving dinner this year due to the oven being broken. Now, that it is fixed, I could at least fix Christmas dinner. I will try to do Thanksgiving dinner another night during January.
I have to work Monday and Tuesday the following week, then I am off for the rest of the time. I was invited to a party on New Years, but I may stay home and just enjoy the night for myself. I do not like traveling a long ways on that evening and trying to get home with all of the other drunks. It is not meant to be rude to my friends - just that it is quite a trip and I would rather stay home and watch the hockey game.
Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday!
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