Toxicity...

This week, I had my first session with a therapist.  I have a lot of emotional baggage that I carry with me and I need to figure out some sort of release.  Some days, I break down and lose it.  Now, it is time to really learn to "let go."

At the same time, I realize I have a few toxic relationships.  Why am I continuing these relationships?  Maybe it is because I feel badly for these people?  Maybe it is because I have a difficult time lying? 

I went out to dinner last night and again, I left feeling worse than I had meeting this person.  Not really interested in hearing about my stuff, but goes on about how another person's brother, who has diabetes "like us", had his leg amputated.  Getting an 8 lb dog for her son because he wants a dog to love him as her dogs love her - she has 4 large dogs.  I know some people are able to get a large and small dog to get along, but she has a pack.  My worry is that one would get rough with the little dog and break its neck.  I tried to dissuade her, but not having any of that.

Poor dog.  My prayers is that someone finds that baby a home before she gets the dog.  Her son needs to move out, get his own place, and dog.  

I need to get all of that out of my system and look for more positive meetings.  I will miss my former co-worker who used to sit across from me.  He would always remind me - "Always look on the bright side of life" and sing the entire song.  His family and he will be missed - they were great.

I have run bouts in my mind of moving back to my home town.  As of late, friends there have been inviting me to gatherings and such.  It has been fun, but how long will that last?  

Before I moved to Plano, I rarely went out with friends, so I figured I would move and hang out with the single co-workers and friends I had living in Plano.  Well, that did not work out as I had hoped.  In fact, I have grown used to staying home a lot.  I am not sure moving back to my home town is a sound financial choice.

I want to get rid of the "clutter" - physical and emotional - that is in my life.  I would love to just sit in front of the TV and play video games or watch some really good movies.  With my physical issues as of late, I have no energy.  The pain sucks the life out of me.

Not sure what God's plan is for me, but I just have to have faith that things will work out in the end.  It seems a little crazy right now.  So, maybe I am headed in the right direction?