Everyone wants to find that special someone. Most are lucky to have found their "mate"' when they are in high school or college. Others, get the degree and job, then find their "mate." Some of us, well, we just never find that "mate."
I never dated in high school. Let's be honest, no one ever asked me out on a date. So many factors there: I was overweight or I was a bitch. I did date a few times over the internet, but nothing ever came from those other than a free meal. (Mind you, I did try to pay for my meals. I did not believe it was fair for someone to buy you dinner if it was a one time thing. That is just taking advantage.)
I quit the internet thing because I was getting hit on by married men and let's fact it, that is just asking for trouble. That was all at the end of my 20's and beginning of my 30's. I had my crushes and all of them crushed me. Heck, I even sought therapy for my love-lorn issues and here I am.
When I turned 40, I took a long, hard look at myself. What was wrong with me? Was I really a homosexual and had no clue?
Well, the homosexual side could not be the case. Too many times, I would think about how hot a guy was and I had very little interest in women in that manner. That answered that question. However, I still could not figure out what was wrong with "me?" Why couldn't a man be interested in me?
I must have tons of warts and horrible smells to drive men away. My co-workers say it is because I am not needy enough. I need to be more helpless. Is that what is really driving the men away? I am not helpless?
A lot of the time, I just figure that maybe God does not have a mate for everyone. That is just how it is - some have their mates and others are the loners reserved for some special purpose. I just happen to fall in the latter category - it just isn't meant to be.
Do I want to get married? That is not a "must" for me. I just wish I had someone who would want to spend time with me.
God's Message To Me:
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