What Am I Doing Wrong Here?

For the past week, due to schedule conflicts, I have yet to make it into the gym to do any of the strength training exercises.  I woke up early to head over to the gym and found out that it is not open until 1 PM.  My schedule today is still a bit tight.

I have resolved myself to try to do some of the exercise ball routines here in the apartment, then do 30 minutes of walking in place.  At least, I can say, I did get some activity done today.  Tomorrow, head into the gym early and work on the recent set of strength training exercises.

Still, I wonder in my mind if I am doing the wrong thing.  Hockey season is almost over and this week, I do not have a home game to attend until Saturday afternoon.  This week was a bit nutty with getting to see Elton John, then a home game the following night.  Yesterday, I went in search of a heart monitor for when I do workouts.  Not thrilled with those that require a band to wear because they never fit.

Anyway, I need to quit looking at the negative aspect of this.  I do work on walking in place when I cannot make it to the gym, so that is a positive.  I suppose with all of the crud that hit me this week, I am having a rather downer day.  My thoughts make me think - Just throw in the towel.  Why are you bothering with this?  You get better and find out something else is wrong with you.  You probably won't be able to exercise again!

However, my heart keeps telling me - you have come this far, don't give up.  Okay, so there may be another problem - you have faced adversity before and you will do it again and again.  Take the issue head on, deal with it, but never give up.  As for falling for someone who is completely unattainable - that is why they are called crushes.  Quit worrying over that - God will handle that for you - he has not forgotten you.  He has reminded you that you can love and you do have feelings, but God obviously has someone else much more fitting for you.  Let that go and let him handle that.  No sense in worrying over that.

It is just so hard not to worry.  I worry about letting myself down.  I worry that something horrible is going to happen and I will have major set backs.  I just worry.

I just need to take a step back and remind myself - you can do this and you will get to where  you need to be.  What you have accomplished is HUGE!  You have not failed and you won't as long as you keep with the program and make it a part of your life.  That is the most important piece - this has to be a part of my life.  It has to be what makes me "ME".  Just like I accepted having diabetes as part of my life, I must accept being active and enjoying life as part of "ME."

God's Message to Me:

peace will come when you let the presence of God settle into your heart.

If there is to be peace in the world, there must be peace in the nations. If there is to be peace in the nations, there must be peace in the cities. If there is to be peace in the cities, there must be peace between neighbors. If there is to be peace between neighbors, there must be peace in the home. If there is to be peace in the home, there must be peace in the heart.