Toxic Relationships...

It is always difficult to make a decision to end a relationship.  I find it is more difficult to end it when the person involved really needs the help of friends.  I have come to this crossroad in my life. 

My friend's son is doing drugs.  You would think he hit rock bottom, but obviously, it was not rock bottom for him.  He is fortunate to have a job.

The son has been abusive to his mother.  She has put so much money into getting her son out of his various troubling issues time and time again.  He has hit her and even set a blanket on fire in her house when he got angry.

Here is the situation I find myself:

While I do not want anything horrible to happen to this man, he has to learn that he cannot abuse his relationships and expect those people to continue to enable him.  My problem is I was trying to explain to my friend that she has got to cut the ties.  My friend and her ex-husband keep giving him pre-paid gas cards.  I realize the gas cards are only good at those places, but again, that is enabling him.  She would not listen to me and started yelling at me that she needed to make sure that he kept his job.  I started yelling because she is always yelling at me, which I do not care.  I tried desperately to say that he has got to learn he has a job and that money needs to go to sustaining himself. 

I am not a horrible person and I never want to see someone lose their job.  At what point, do you stop enabling?  Or is giving him gas cards not an enabling act?  Maybe I am wrong here.

I apologized and paid for dinner.  However, when I got home, I reflected on the situation.  This is not the first time she has yelled at me or even condemned me for something I have said.  Rather than listen, she takes on a rather harsh and condescending tone to me all of the time.  I came to the decision that it is probably time to take a break from this relationship.

I hate to do that to her as she needs her friends to help her through this particular situation.  However, how much abuse do I need to receive because of it?

It is all very confusing.