Today is the 4th year that my mom has been gone. Quite honestly, not a day goes by that I do not think about it. I sometimes weep because I no longer have that person I depended upon for advice. I spend a lot of time thinking of what she would say to me in order to find solace in this crazy life I live.
I look at the angel I bought for her the Christmas before she passed away. I did not know what I could get her that Christmas - everything at that time was so bleak. I was in the Hallmark store and saw the angel. I noticed that the figurine allowed for a charm to be attached. I got the silver heart shaped "Mom" charm.
When I gave it to her, she just held it for hours. I felt awful that I could not give her more, but I had no idea of what to give her. Today, I am pretty sure she just wanted for me to be happy. That would have made her very happy in return.
As I start this new year by changing myself, I know she is with me and wants to see me happy. I know she could not bear the thought of me being alone and that troubled her the most. So, together, we will make this work.
I love you , mom!
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